Food For Xenophobes
I just saw a disgusting Jack-In-The-Box commercial. In a corny, split-screen "interview," some ham-bone actor playing a French newsguy interviews the Jack-In-The-Box character about "natural-cut fries" -- which is what Jack-In-The-Box is renaming French fries.
The dialogue in the commercial made something very clear: The churlish people running Jack-In-The-Box saw a golden opportunity to capitalize on the tendency, by a certain small-minded, jingoistic segment of America, to hate and fear "furr-iners." Contrast that to what I heard in France, every time I asked (and I asked often) about the feelings of French people toward Americans, vis a vis our Iraq policy and other bones of contention. Almost everybody I asked said something along these lines: "We are not anti-American; we are just anti-Booosh." (Yeah, well, you're not exactly alone -- and let me add that I say that as somebody who has an affinity for France, yet disagrees with a good deal of French policy.)
It's one thing for some rube on the street to extemporaneously say something anti-other, but for corporations to air premeditated, heavily funded attempts to feed on and promote hateful, xenophobic thought? Ick. To say the least. And, no matter what anybody else says or doesn't say -- couldn't we please, please, be bigger than that?
I'm guessing most people reading here aren't frequent fast-food consumers, but if you do have the urge to suck down some overprocessed, chemical-filled crap -- please try to see it isn't that of Jack-In-The-Box. Pass it on.
Goddess...you are priceless.
One of the things I look for in any writer is consistency. A month or so ago you were writing about how people should get over the PC names game, and not play the hurt card when it comes to free speech. Alas.
I've seen the commercial. Xenaphobic, hateful? My my goddess how duplicitous you are. The commercial is known as something called humor. It is also something called parody. But apparently
parody of gay paree is patently profan-ee. we we.
I must now get in my 2001 black Hummer, drive through Jack, get three orders of the large grease dripping fries and then head to your house. There I will idle my Hummer blowing as much exhaust as I can and partially eat the nat cut fries, taking one bite and then throwing the remainder onto the grounds of your palatial estate. Plenty of exhaust and nat fries a comin your way. VArooom.
volkay at August 23, 2004 8:49 AM
Haven't seen the commercial, but I am a frequent patron of fast food and JITB. In all fairness, it isn't just the name that's changed -- the fries themselves are different, now with little bits of skin on the end to make 'em seem more natural. Since I don't eat fries much, I can't tell if they taste different or not.
Reflexive French bashing is stupid. But the last bunch of JITB commercials, for their Pannido sandwiches, mocked Italians, so it isn't purely an Iraq war thing.
LYT at August 23, 2004 9:19 AM
LYT, do not take such things into your body! They'll only bring you sorrow.
> Jack-In-The-Box saw a golden opportunity to
> capitalize on the tendency, by a certain
> small-minded, jingoistic segment of America,
> to hate and fear "furr-iners."
I was willing to believe you until reading LYT's comment. In America, marking trumps all other values. And the French are fun to ridicule even without politics or 'jingoistic churlishness'.
Do they still have minitel, or have they moved on to the internet nowadays?
Crid at August 23, 2004 10:52 AM
Hi Crid. Where have you been?
Lena at August 23, 2004 10:53 AM
Whoops, that's markETing. Sell them fries!
Crid at August 23, 2004 10:55 AM
Lena- Out stopping poor girls from getting abortions; encouraging the government to spend less money on education for minorities and more on our impoverised multinational defense contractors; baking low-fat cookies and other taste treats for Mr. Cheney; harrassing gays; etc.
Crid at August 23, 2004 10:58 AM
I'm glad to hear you're trying to work with Mr Cheney on the diet. I'm chowing down on roasted figs wrapped in pancetta right now. The fat content would probably kill him.
Lena de la Cucina at August 23, 2004 11:21 AM
Ah, but Volkay, I'm not saying they don't have a right to their commercial speech; I'm doing the libertarian thing and saying their speech is disgusting, and suggesting those who aren't petty and jingoistic refrain from eating their crap. And if they're anti-Italian and anti-French (altogether anti-other), all the more reason.
Amy Alkon at August 23, 2004 12:06 PM
For some time now, commercials for both Jack in the Box and Carl's Jr. have been promoting a xenophobic celebration of lowbrow "guy" culture and not only pointing out the unhealfulness of their food but rather celebrating it. I, for one, celebrate the new Taco Bell value menu and all it stands for.
Steven at August 23, 2004 1:22 PM
PUH-LEEZE don't eat fast food! Suhsi Boy is safe but's not that great.
Crid at August 23, 2004 4:03 PM
you're like johnny cochran goddess
when you're beaten on the evidence change the subject
I wasnt commenting on whether or not you or jack in the box had the right to say what they or you said. Only that calling it hateful is simply wrong and silly. And it also is diametrically opposed to what you said about the pc correctness just a month or so ago. You are on all sides of the issues.
Perhaps Amy AlKerry is somewhat more accurate.
volkay at August 23, 2004 5:04 PM
And why not eat fast food? I don't, but I certainly think you all should. Lots of greasy hamburgers, topped off by a pack of cigarettes.
Lucky Strike-no filters-let the smoke stay in your lungs as long as you can.
volkay at August 23, 2004 5:30 PM
Right now I'm eating sliced heirloom tomatoes in olive oil and basil leaves. Who the hell wants fast food? It's August.
Lena de la Cucina at August 23, 2004 6:17 PM
Lena-
try romas w/ fresh basil, feta and extra virgin olive oil. Courtesy Europa Spokane- not Spagos, but close.....
PS- how come there are never photos of you at these parties?
eric at August 23, 2004 9:07 PM
Eric --
I will certainly eat as you have directed. (By the way, feta is also great with watermelon.)
I'm not in the party photos because I'd much rather stay at home practicing "The Maid of Constant Sorrow" and other Judy Collins tunes on my dulcimer.
Lena
Lena Bright and Dark at August 23, 2004 9:21 PM
God I hate Judy Collins. And Janis Fucking Ian. And the entire Joni Mitchell catalog (except for the Jaco stuff and the closing guitar modulations on Help Me). And that old brunette who wails at lefty convos on college greens (whose name I forget).
Laura Nyro gets a pass for Wedding Bell Blues (5th Dimension Version).
Manly Big Hair Metal has been essentially extiguished, so we know progress can be made. Can't we now terminate the Eternally Sincere Acoustic Princess of Interior Life as a pop music archetype?
Jewel/Sarah Mclachlan/Michelle Branch/Alanis Morissette... With Norah Jones shaking in her boots! Grrr!
Crid, Dark Only at August 23, 2004 9:40 PM
That's a good question eric
Where is the cuisena? Never a photo-
is Lena a real person? Or just another phony persona
created on this blog? A sort of "Harvey" created by Ms. ALkerry either as a joke or part of her delusions. Has anybody ever seen this cuisena? Or do we have another bigfoot on our hands?
volkay at August 23, 2004 9:45 PM
Music by sensitive singer-songwriters played at the right time and the right place will get you laid. I knew a guy who had a lot of success getting into girls' pants with Joni Mitchell's "Blue" playing in the background.
Lena at August 23, 2004 9:53 PM
Yes, but fans of that music will get on your nerves eventually! They think the world is supposed to BE that way. I heard Jewel on Loveline the other night, and ...
Nevermind.
Crid at August 23, 2004 10:35 PM
Breaking News (AP)
Lena Cuisena is no longer with us.
At Cedars Sinai in Hollywood,
She would succumb(suck cum?)at 2:42 EST
She had been hospitalized for her latest
vaginal rejuvenation procedure.
Things went terribly wrong. Trying to
do it on the cheap, she had the Pulp Fiction
Ving Rhames procedure("a pair of pliers and
a blowtorch") Alas, cuisena now goes the way of all the other fictional characters created in
Sybil's spasmodic head.
volkay at August 24, 2004 7:40 AM
I'm thinking the "what's her name" woman is Joan Baez- God, my wife loves her! If she would only sing one song where her ancestors weren't being raped by Cossacks or Union soldiers.
Buddy Guy's newest is great- 5 stars!
eric at August 24, 2004 9:11 AM
PS- Joni in an incredible painter.
eric at August 24, 2004 9:13 AM
Baez Itiz! That's her.
And since you're still reading...
> If she would only sing one song where her
> ancestors weren't being raped by Cossacks or
> Union soldiers.
That's like the Jewel story. She talked about writing a song about how she was boarishly assaulted by some asshole while hitchhiking. The song had a backhanded lyric like "You're the Man of My Dreams!" To me her irony seems inverted. It's a narcissistic princess indeed who thinks that masculinity puts her marital fulfillment at the center of the universe.
And *ALL* those gumbleed acoustic folksters from the boomers years and beyond are like that. They're the most naive, coddled, over-protected, sexless navel-gazers in showbiz history. Compared to them, even Nashville seem earthy, spirited and erotic! We note that black America never contributed any players to that realm, probably because it was too busy dealing with real life. (Joan Armatrading is not from this country, and never had a hit record anyway!) And real life brings you to the slamdown funk of Sly Stone, not the weeping sniffles of Carly Simon.
Narcissism on that scale embarrasses me personally, because I remember it well.
Jewel has a nice rack, though.
> PS- Joni in an incredible painter.
So STAY OFF THE RADIO!!!
(Admittedly, this has not been a big problem for the last three decades. I think she now spends afternoons at tea with Polly Bergen.)
Crid at August 24, 2004 11:47 AM
I once knew somebody who once knew somebody who got a blowjob from Joni Mitchell. Word is that the incredible painter also gives good head.
Lena paved paradise at August 24, 2004 12:34 PM
Whatever it takes to shut her up.
Crid at August 24, 2004 12:59 PM
"sexless navel-gazers"??
Navels are all about sex, man!
Doug at August 24, 2004 5:31 PM
"Any" is a writer, eh? She doesn't respond to any of the comments here, which I see are typically American. The postings go way off point, almost immediately.
She doesn't seem to respond to any of the one's that are on topic either. I think she has this stuff ghost written.
Meanwhile, of the million books that Amazon sells she ranks:
Amazon.com Sales Rank: 770,270
near the front row of third rate.
Mark Preston at August 25, 2004 7:47 PM
Who are you, why are you here, and why is your opinion worthy of any interest by the coastal California blog enthusiast?
Crid at August 25, 2004 8:51 PM
By Googling the email address posted by the person above "EMarkPreston@yahoo.com," we find the following posting:
3 January 2000
Jack Bezian
CEO
Bezian Bakery
4725 Santa Monica Blvd.
LA
CA
90029
USA
tel: 323-663-1503
fax: 323-6630-8608
Ý
E-mail: emarkpreston@yahoo.com
I need to find a manufacturer/distributor of glass preserving or jelly jars with a wire bale locking over the top of the lid. I think they may be made in China. I need them in 4/8/16 oz sizes clear.
******
Of course, since there are numerous weenies who post here and in other comments sections with the wrong e-mail address, we can't be sure this is the same guy -- or even if the person is a guy.
But I will respond now to the angry little remark posted above:
I usually do join in the comments fray. Number one, I wrote this on Sunday night, when I should have been working on my column. Monday, when it was up, is my major deadline day -- I'm usually up until midnight -- and then up at 5am the next day. Writing my column is generally the only thing I do. My close friends know not to call unless they're dying, and even then, only then if there's nobody else to call 911.
The book you reference, "Free Advice," is out of print. I wrote it in the early 90s with my former advice partners, Marlowe Minnick and Caroline Johnson. Hence the ranking on Amazon. What's amazing to me is that it's selling at all.
What's also amazing to me is that you care. You can read my current work in 118 newspapers every week. I guess I should get off my ass and get another book written. I have high standards and I dumped the one I was working on...the old rough drafts are still sitting here in a huge pile on the floor next to my bookshelf.
A question for you: Like Crid, I'd like to know -- who are YOU, and what's your agenda? Why so angry at me, little man?
Amy Alkon at August 25, 2004 11:44 PM
PS If I were going to respond to any comment, it would be to Volkay's hilarious takedown of me. Oops, I guess I did -- instead of sticking to my deadline...bad me! Sometimes, I can't resist. Moreover, this fellow above -- what an idiot. Blog stuff "ghost-written"? Now, it's bad enough I'm writing shit for free, but believe me, nobody's writing shit for free without credit. Also, aren't I cranky and irritable in my own, very, very special way?
Amy Alkon at August 25, 2004 11:50 PM
Glass preserving jars:
The Container Store sells them. Cheers.
Stu "El InglÈs" Harris at August 26, 2004 10:53 AM
OH god shut up, it was just a damn commercial, how the hell you make such a big deal about it fucking cry baby. oui or no oui or no. on a better note u make a big deal out of things that you shouldnt so how about u go lock your self up in a room and stay away from tv. my boyfriend and i we are from france and we like the commercial. stop crying CRY BABY hahaha GO JACK BOX !!! natural cut fries
valerie at November 9, 2004 8:12 AM
Perhaps you haven't noticed, but this country is a bit divided and "other"-hating. And I doubt you're from France, but keep up the act -- it must work on somebody who has never met French people and imagines them all quite rude.
Amy Alkon at November 9, 2004 1:54 PM