Cents And Sensibility
This week's outrageous request:

Dear Amy:
I’m writing this letter because I need a lot of help. PLEASE READ this entire letter. I am a 47 year old domestic violence’s victim with a 13 year old daughter at home. Four weeks ago my husband asked for a divorce after 14 & a half years together. We have a lot of bills that are all in my name and a house. My husband is an alcoholic and over the years has spent a lot of our bill money. Whatever he wanted we bought. Through the years I have worked two jobs, borrowed money from my parents and friends and used all of my little bonus money to pay bills. I have worked so hard to keep our house and to keep my credit. Also through the years he has beaten me, spit on me, mentally abused me everyday, and accused me of cheating because I have to work late at the end of the month. He has pointed a rifle at me, cut up the clothes while on my body, and degraded me. He also has embarrassed me, left me to find my own way home from places and constantly calls me filthy names. After every big blow up, I have had to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness. Everyone who knows my husband thinks he is so wonderful. They do not know what goes on behind close doors. And now he wants a divorce. Even after all this, it is still very hard for me and I am completely heart broken and scared. Everyone says I will be a lot better off without him. Right now I cannot see that. I pray everyday for that serenity. I cannot believe that after 14 and a half years he just wants to get up and leave. I am a very hard worker and I’ve tried to keep him happy, but things had gotten to the point where I just started shutting up and not talk to him at all because of the mental abuse. I also found out a month ago that I was losing my job of 17 years. He doesn’t care about this either. The company I work for is moving our jobs to Tempe Arizona in June of 2005. I do not want to up route my daughter, so I will need to find another job.

The lawyer I went to see said because I make almost as much as he does I do not have much of a leg to stand on. I know that my daughter wants to live with me and have him pick her up everyday after school as usual. She will spend that time with him until I get home from work. I work in San Francisco and I get off at 5:30pm. I then take B.A.R.T. home.. When I get home, my daughter and I talk and watch TV together. This has been our everyday routine. So I will not get much child support if any. I also found out that I need to buy him out of the house. Which means I need to come up with $50,000.00 for that and pay off my share of our bills which is approximately $20,000. If I cannot do this, the court will make us sell the house. My husband does not care whether his daughter is able to stay in the house she was raised in or not. He wants to sell the house and take his share of the money and get on with his life. The town I live in is now very expensive. If I have to sell the house I will never be able to buy another. The lawyer also said I will have to show that I can pay the house payment which is $1,500.00 a month and provide a living for our daughter. Without the bills, I can do this on my two jobs. The reason for this letter is to ask for help coming up with all this money. I’m hoping that you can publish this letter. If I have to pay for this to be in the newspaper I will. I believe in people, and that they would be willing to help. Even a Five dollar donate from several people will add up. I give to the homeless as much as I can. I have helped many of my sisters and friends out when they needed it, but no one has this kind of money. I know it is terrible of me to ask but I am very desperate. I cannot refinance the house because I did that already this year. Please, please consider this. I need big time help. Thank you for reading this whole letter. I hope to hear from you. I will put my name and address on the bottom of this letter. God bless you.

Sincerely,
Name Withheld
Benicia, CA 94510

My reply:

First, I'm very sorry to hear what a hard time you're having. So, you might have to sell your house. It is not tragic to live in an apartment. Priorities. You want people to GIVE you money? If you have a house it will take $50,000 to buy your husband out of, you have much more money than I do, and you should be donating money to me:

Amy Alkon
171 Pier Ave #280
Santa Monica, CA 90405

...is where you can send your check. $500 would be quite nice. Next, you should take responsibility for your actions. You're setting a terrible example for your daughter. It's disgusting, in fact. For perspective on why you don't stay with an abuser, call 1800TRYNOVA. They're experts in this area. You know, every week, I hear about a newer, weirder sex act and get pictures of men in ladies underwear from my readers, but I haven't been surprised lately like you surprised me now. Where do you get off asking people to give you money? Look around lady. There are people going hungry on street corners, who haven't had a warm bed in years. You can't live in suburban style? Well, boo hoo. Try to work up the sensibility it would take to feel ashamed of yourself for asking.