They Never Say "God Thought She Was A Crappy Person...
So he took her out!" when people croak in accidents. A woman survived being impaled by a 12-foot metal fence post that pierced her through the mouth and exited the back of her neck after a car crash. When the emergency crew freed her, the fire chief instantly attributed her survival to god -- not simply random luck that she didn't end up two inches to the left or right:
"Talk about having an angel as a co-pilot," Fire Chief J.R. Rosencrans said. "On her rearview mirror she had a picture of the Madonna. You can tell she is a religious person."
Oh, and religious people never die horribly or anything, do they, chief? (I wonder if he thinks god makes a special effort to smite you if you have fuzzy dice or plastic titties dangling from the rear-view.)
The co-pilot must have had a bit too much to drink, or she wouldn't have crashed to begin with.
Todd Fletcher at December 7, 2004 4:25 PM
When religious people die horribly they have to say something like, "god works in mysterious ways", or, "his ways are higher than our ways", or even better, blame it on the victim, "satan must have had a hold in their life."
If you're a fundamentalist christian, you've got to have all your bases covered!
Jeff R at December 8, 2004 5:05 AM
I thought religious people just got raptured off to some purple planet.
Sheryl at December 9, 2004 1:03 AM
Only the stylish ones.
PS At least the Raelians make a point of being attractive. There are a whole lot of stretch pants in the bible belt.
Amy Alkon at December 9, 2004 1:39 AM