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Sex With Ron Jeremy

musso.jpg

Don't get excited. (Or hurl.) Ron Jeremy simply held the door for me as we were coming out of Musso & Frank's late Saturday night. I didn't know who he was, but Gregg recognized Jeremy -- the porn star Wikipedia reports is known as "The Hedgehog," "due to his hirsute and overweight body, and because he can orally stimulate himself (contorting himself the way a real hedgehog does when rolling into a ball, and owing to his 9¾-inch-long penis)." While I do commend Mr. Jeremy on his good manners in door-holding, seeing what he looks like left me with a burning question: WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN...OR EVEN LET HIM TOUCH THEM!?

P.S. Let's just say the Wikipedia photo in the link above is a very flattering representation!

Posted by aalkon at January 3, 2005 11:20 AM

Comments

There is a documentary about this guy- apparantly he can please a woman orally better than any one else in the business. All the actresses love him, and say he is a very witty gentleman.

It is a very good documentary about how an average Joe found himself into a porn legend. I think the documentary is called "The Legend of Ron Jeremy".

Posted by: eric at January 3, 2005 7:20 PM

I saw the movie, at the New Beverly Cinema, whose schedule of interesting double-features is matched only by its utter tattiness: ripped seats, sticky walls... who would ever guess it used to be a porn house? Anyway, Jeremy did come off as an okay guy, but we had to leave midway through, as the first feature had been about that Asian woman, Anna somebody, who had sex with something like 1,000 men in 24 hours in order to break a record. What a horror show, all these seedy naked men standing in line, stroking themselves, as Anna lay on a platform "having sex" with five, six guys at a time. She looked dead by guy number 658. Oh, and just in case we didn't take her seriously, she decided to break her own record the following year. Come to think of it, maybe that's when we walked out.

Posted by: nancy at January 3, 2005 7:56 PM

That's exactly the point goddess. Ron Jeremy is everyman. Guys want to see beautiful women being nailed and having their kissers jacked off on by fat ugly guys like Ron. Having sex with dash riprock or handsome preppy boys is dull. I'm surprised they don't go into leper colonies and get guys whose faces are falling off.

Every woman in porn is the homecoming queen-and every guy is the guy who couldn't get her-hence the big emphasis on humiliation-coming on her face-in her mouth-in her ass-and sometimes making em get down on the floor and lick it up

Posted by: chris volkay at January 3, 2005 8:13 PM

Nancy -- That Asian porn actress you mentioned -- she has HIV now (per the LA Weekly).

Chris -- Interesting insight on why porn depicts humiliation.

Posted by: Lena at January 3, 2005 8:16 PM

I saw it on HBO. I hate sticky shoes. I never heard about the world record thing though. Was she doing this in a kids inflatable pool or something?

Posted by: eric at January 3, 2005 8:20 PM

I'm apparently in one of the deleted scenes on the DVD of that Ron Jeremy movie (pre hair color, if you're looking). I've met Ron several times, and he's always been really approachable, friendly, and charismatic. In photos, sure, he looks like the Penguin, but in conversation there's a charisma to him that made me understand why a woman might feel comfortable with him.

Also I went to USC at the same time as Annabel Chong. We traveled in similar circles, only I never got laid.

Posted by: LYT at January 4, 2005 2:40 AM

Years ago I was dating this woman who lived in a Hollywood high rise, and I saw Jeremy parking in the garage. He was carrying a bag a fast food. He gets more sex than I do, but I drive a better car. And this is LA, babe.

Posted by: Cridland at January 4, 2005 5:59 AM

I dunno...borrowing the line of a friend from The South:

"I wouldn't fuck him with your dick."

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 4, 2005 6:18 AM

If you google Annabel Chong, it leads you to the most disturbing, tragic, unknowable arenas. I thought I was desensitized to most of this.

Posted by: eric at January 4, 2005 6:42 AM

I'm a big fan of "disturbing, tragid, unknowable" so I did the google search on Chong. What was it that upset you so much? She's a whore, that's all.

Posted by: Lena at January 4, 2005 7:36 AM

I dunno- getting gang raped in a subway and then making a living off it. It is great to face up to your fears and conquer them, but not to center your life around them. Sounds more like self loathing and self destruction than good old fashioned sport fucking.

Maybe its just another in a long long string of human behavior I just don't get.

Posted by: eric at January 4, 2005 4:30 PM

Yeah, I don't really get it either. In fact, I don't think I really WANT to get it. I'm okay with "unknowable" here.

Posted by: Lena at January 4, 2005 7:05 PM

And I DEFINITELY don't ever want to see Mr Jeremy self felating!!!!!

Posted by: eric who really really never ever tried it at January 4, 2005 7:19 PM

I'm fairly picky about porno too.

Posted by: Lena at January 4, 2005 8:08 PM

Best porno ever- Chameleons w/ Ashlyn Gere. Close follow up is Cheating, also Ashlyn Gere.

Posted by: eric at January 4, 2005 10:14 PM

I'm pretty fond of "Black Dick on Duty II."

Posted by: And Lena anxiously awaits the release of III at January 5, 2005 3:04 AM

Call me a hopeless romantic, but isn't the "best porno ever" always the next one?

Posted by: Cridland at January 6, 2005 4:11 AM

That sums up you and me Crid- you are the optimist, and I am the sentimentalist.

PS- I should have really said, the best porno ever is anything with Penelope Cruz, even though there is never any real nudity. Tits and ass get boring compared to a great smile and brown eyes.

Posted by: eric at January 7, 2005 5:53 AM

"isn't the "best porno ever" always the next one?"

I'm actually quite monogamous with my porno. We have committed long-term relationships.

Posted by: Lena-doodle-doo at January 8, 2005 8:29 PM