Judge For Yourself
How big is the man who used the bushes in my neighborhood for his personal bathroom? Your estimate below! He said his name was "Seb," and said he was from Belgium. I suggested he drag his barnyard animal self back there and use his own country as a latrine, since it's kind of unpleasant when mine smells like the men's bathroom whenever it rains, thanks to guys like him. I also asked him for his address, so my neighbors and I could all reciprocate on his lawn, but he wasn't exactly forthcoming.
UPDATE: Ooh, cool! I'm Blog Of The Day on ImmaculateStroke.com! And a link from Emmanuelle, too, who emailed me that:
...an outraged Belgium reader reminded me that the Mankenpiss (the statue of the kid peeing in Brussels) is a national symbol there, so maybe this guy was only being patriotic!
Yes, but, when in Los Angeles...!
Posted by aalkon at February 9, 2005 8:18 AM
Comments
It looks like he is contemplating tying it off.
Posted by: eric at February 9, 2005 7:25 PM
I don't see anything. You sure he's got one?
Posted by: Stephanie at February 9, 2005 8:00 PM
Finally we see a picture of Lena and her angry inch.
Posted by: chris "world teacher" volkay at February 9, 2005 8:44 PM
You're all looking in the wrong place. His head is the dick, in every sense. That other thing's just a bit of Saran wrap that got caught in his zipper. Did he spring fountains from his ears, Amy?
Posted by: modestproposal at February 9, 2005 9:10 PM
The facial expression is priceless.
Posted by: CEOaf at February 9, 2005 10:07 PM
Andrew, thanks for making me snort milk up my nose. That's usually Jim Treacher's job.
The bottom of Lena's shoe* is more attractive than this guy.
FOOTNOTE: *After Lena has marched through a trough of dog poop.
Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 9, 2005 10:08 PM
Aaaaaarrrrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!! In two straight days of Alkon-posts I'm disillusioned!!! After years of cultivating my feminine "side", becoming a good conversationalist and all-around nice guy, NOW I DISCOVER that:
- Size matters
- The car matters
Posted by: Stu "El Inglés" Harris at February 10, 2005 12:14 AM
Shaving one's head IS a compensatory act.
Posted by: Doug Mason at February 10, 2005 1:24 AM
Yesterday is was UglyTits.com. Today it's the Friendly Neighborhood Eunuch. What gives, Amy? Next time, try pointing your camera at something pretty (e.g., Lena's snatch).
Posted by: Lena at February 10, 2005 6:12 AM
Smile pretty for the camera!
Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 10, 2005 7:03 AM
His name is Seb? Sounds like he's from the French-speaking part of Belgium. How embarrassing!
Posted by: Emmanuelle at February 10, 2005 7:08 AM
Hmmm...short for Sebastian? Luckily, my French has improved a great deal since the lady cut in front of me at Monoprix, and I told her, "vous n'etes pas tres gentille!" (You're not very nice!)
Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 10, 2005 8:05 AM
Oh, come on, that's not a penis. He's merely stretching a wad of chewed gum...
Posted by: nancy at February 10, 2005 4:06 PM
I swear it's not me!! I've never been in L.A and I would never do that....
Argh... Why did he say his name was that one?... :-(
Posted by: Seb. at February 12, 2005 10:13 AM
Nous montrez plus que vos pieds!
Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 12, 2005 10:23 AM
That's the smallest penis I have ever seen! Dear God I had no idea they came in "toy" size!
Posted by: cindy at February 22, 2005 7:57 AM
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