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Amy On Glenn Sacks' His Side Radio Show
Sunday, I debated male feminist Hugo Schwyzer about men's reproductive rights. (I'm for them; he's not.) If you missed the broadcast, you can listen here. You can read Glenn's work on the subject here. (He's for men's rights, too!) Here is the column I wrote, titled Fetal Attraction, responding to a guy who has sex with a woman who says she lied about being on the pill because she was desperate for a baby. Note to men: Latex wrap the heir shaft. At all times. And bring your own condom. At all times. One you're sure nobody's had the chance to work over with the sharp end of a pin. Cynical of me to say so? Perhaps. But I get the emails and letters from all the astonished-to-become-daddies who say otherwise.

Posted by aalkon at March 23, 2005 9:07 AM

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Comments

And beware of the "missed period" trial balloon...

Posted by: Paul Hrissikopoulos at March 23, 2005 4:01 PM

Thanks for linking the show, I wanted to hear it but didn't have a chance to listen live. Very interesting - well argued from all sides, I thought.

Posted by: Jeff R at March 23, 2005 4:35 PM

Amy, I'm impressed! You're articulate, obviously educated, funny, link to Randi, quote Heinlein...

And on "my" side?
Who is that blonde you're kissing in the picture?

But -- possibly we should think about the enormous amount of sex going on, to find the victimization rate?

The observation has been made that it took a few thousand years for society to get men to stick around at all to raise children, and only a few years for "feminists" to show them that they should expect sex from strangers they could subsequently leave.

So, the message is certainly inconsistent.

Posted by: Radwaste at March 24, 2005 8:24 AM

I forgot to note that Hugo embraces fallacy in asserting that women "take" or "bear" an "unfair" burden in pregnancy.

It's a role assigned by nature to every female. Nature is notoriously unfair. Why, most predators don't even understand the Bill of Rights!

The burden of pregnancy is the same whether the father is present or not. He can't carry the child for her; neither is he unique in being the only person capable of financial or emotional support during pregnancy.

Pregnancy is romanticized in the human community. That's why this argument flies at all.

Honda Motor Corporation has a campaign called "Stupid Hurts". It's simple to see that a woman who baits a man to have a child by herself, with him gone save for his paycheck, is hurting herself and her offspring by choosing goals stupidly and selfishly. She doesn't produce a little citizen any more often than the stereotypical Welfare Queen having her 6th brat for the check it brings.

Posted by: Radwaste at March 24, 2005 8:45 AM

Let's not kid ourselves. For centuries, men have been dads and cads. I'm no fan of certain facets of feminism (the special treatment advocates [vs. equal treatment]), but the idea that feminism is responsible for casual sex is ridiculous. The availability of reliable birth control...does that ring a bell?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 24, 2005 8:54 AM

Ah, a chicken-and-the-egg question: which came first, casual sex or the birth control pill?

It's all of one package. The Pill frees women from having too many children in marriage just as it allows a greater level of promiscuity.

So far as I can tell, we are in total agreement about gender roles and the behavior of the sexes. One of their commonalities is that when there are no perceived consequences for an action, it is seen as "safe" to perform.

Feminism has a (small) role in this, although I caution that the voices speaking to women are not just those of recognized advocates who know good citizenship has a price. Everywhere, the mixed message is that the individual's wishes are most important, and yes, girl, you can do anything you want. This is true to an extent, but a society proclaiming the matchless worth of the individual spends little time raising women (or men) to be aware of consequences. The word is out: the man will pay, or the county will pay, or the state will pay.

Hmm. You reminded me to think about the history of cuckoldry. While men have been dads & cads, it's safe to assume that women have been fooling them forever, isn't it?

In a relationship, I think I'd believe whatever you said, because to not believe you means that I've been a fool. This, I'm sad to say, I know from experience.

Posted by: Radwaste at March 24, 2005 6:56 PM

"You reminded me to think about the history of cuckoldry. While men have been dads & cads, it's safe to assume that women have been fooling them forever, isn't it?"

Absolutely. PEOPLE are unethical. Neither sex has a monopoly on dishonesty.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 24, 2005 7:20 PM

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