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What War Looks Like, Soldier-Side
An excerpt from War is Real, the blog of a soldier with post-traumatic stress disorder, who's soon heading back to Iraq for more:

part two: how i stopped learning to kill and take the pill

she says to take one of the blue pills in the morning and another in mid afternoon and oh whenever i feel severe depression coming on take on then too. i'm wondering what all these chemicals will do for me and i'm feeling very much like a lab rat. the army has one treatment for PTSD, and that drug of choice is Zoloft. despite the fact that i can barely even exist on zoloft, i started taking it and oh also the other stuff that's supposed to help with nightmares i've been having. body parts flying apart and landing all over my shoes, my face, the blood mixing with the rain and soaking my hair red, eventhough my stitches are holding up pretty well so they can't be from me.

she says, go ahead and take these little white pills. they supposedly stop nightmares before they happen, which is complete and utter bullshit just like every other time something is supposed to prevent something from happening before it begins. they don't work, Major, and so what am i left with?

she says to me, you could always go back out there, man up and be a true soldier. bitch, i was there once and i need some FUCKING HELP before i can go back and see those things again. are you not comprehending this? do i need to spell it out for you? i fucking hate the fact that i'm required to kill evil people who are only evil because our president wills them to be.

yeah, i'm going back to iraq. if i get shot at or placed in danger, i'm going to kill everything that moves on the other site. i won't enjoy doing it, but it's my job, and my battle buddies are more important to me than life itself, and THEY are the reason i'm going. screw iraq, screw bush, screw the army -- just remember that it's me and my battle buddies out there, and we are the ones fighting a sham war just so we can come home and get a nice welcome reception for being heroes, and then six months later nothing changes and we're back to being grunts.

change the cycle.

Hmm, I wonder why Jenna and Barbara Bush haven't joined up yet to fight this righteous war. PTSD gets in the way of modeling jobs, perchance? Oh, and amputated limbs and missing eyes can't be big sellers either.

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Posted by aalkon at May 22, 2005 7:24 AM

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Comments

Soldiers have been fighting and dying for causes - some of them questionable - since Washington's men starved while Congress dithered. One soldier's blog isn't going to change that. Note well that some soldiers working in righteous endeavors can't stand the stress. Can you say, "Darwinian environment?"

No matter what the leadership does, the other side's partisans think it's a bad idea.

Posted by: Radwaste at May 22, 2005 3:22 PM

Well, what makes our involvement in Iraq such a hot idea, I'd like to know. For one thing, we weren't acting in defense (ours or anyone else's), for the first time in our history.
And who is benefiting from our unprovoked attack in Iraq, except for Halliburton?

And since we're the self-appointed policeman of the world, just why did we go after Iraq before Sudan? After all, Sudan is genocidal, terrorist supporting and the world's leading sponsor of slavery. Surely, Saddam Hussein could have waited a year or two while we righted the more egregious offenses against human rights in Sudan first.

I'm far less bothered by the fact that we're in Iraq than the fact that our government is lying to us about our involvement there. Face it, we're there so Dick Cheney's beloved Halliburton can make a mint of money on the backs of our underequipped military. And so Dick Cheney can lie about it, like he always does, as when he told Joe Lieberman that the Federal Government had absolutely nothing to do with his unprecendented prosperity. As a matter of fact, Halliburton made a fortune on government contracts. Cheney and Bush are unblushing and unrepentant liars. They're worse. They're human filth.

Posted by: Patrick, The Goddess Fan at May 22, 2005 5:13 PM

Amen.

Posted by: Diana agrees at May 22, 2005 5:30 PM

> They're human filth.

Maintain maximal rhetorical aggression! Voters LOVE that stuff, and 2008 is closer than it seems! Meanwhile, take a moment to verify the allegiance of the comrade at your side.

Posted by: Crid at May 22, 2005 10:24 PM

Of course, my comment has nothing to do with the value of being in Iraq.

However, ire about Haliburton is merely convenient -- because Haliburton made a fortune during the Clinton Administration with nary a peep heard in opposition. That's how successfully mouth-breathing Americans were diverted with tales of sexual peccadilloes. That covered up a number of governmental escapades as completely as anyone could dream!

Posted by: Radwaste at May 23, 2005 4:33 PM

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