Administer Beatings
Great idea in the Wall Street Journal about how to get the butts back into the movie theater seats:
Ultimately, though, the worst thing that ever happened to movies happened when audiences began treating theaters like their living rooms. Their chatter destroyed the essential thrill of sitting in the dark sampling the Zeitgeist with hundreds of other people.So here's a message to Hollywood: You want us back? Bring back the usher. Not clueless, giggling teenagers but real ones, scary ones, like the chap in the picture above. The meaner the better, too, with full powers to evict talkers and other noisemakers. With an army of ushers, who will need roadblocks?
Two twenty-ish girls were seated near us at the movies this weekend. Not only did they talk through the credits and beginning of the movie, they had their cell phones open (and lit), which was quite disconcerting. I thought one girl's gigantic Coke would have been the perfect place for her phone, but because I was with Gregg, I merely resorted to some light shushing. Gregg's rule: I can behave as anti-socially as my little heart desires, as long as he's not right next to me at the time...but he'll always be right behind me to post my bail.
P.S. This photo is actually very movie-appropriate, because it was taken (by Gregg) in Athens, NY, where some of War Of The Worlds was shot, and where we stayed when we went to my friend David Wallis' wedding. A girl at the hotel said Tom Cruise brought his wacky-meter with him, and kept it and a bunch of cult of Scientology pamphlets in his room. No word as to whether he got busy substituting for the town shrink.
The threat of people talking throughout a movie has definitely kept me away from theaters. We tend to stick to our local art house theaters, where the clientele tends to be more sophisticated and considerate. I would be happy to pay an extra $1 per ticket if it bought a bouncer for each screen.
Amy, I used to practically assault obnoxious people during movies, but my wife has imposed restriction on me similar to the ones you face. She calls it "growing up". My friends refer to it as "whipped".
Jason Ginsburg at June 27, 2005 8:10 AM
Movie theaters are going the way of the horse and buggy. To me, films are much more enjoyable at home on a good television, with good food and wine, and the ability to pause and rewind. Also the ability to discuss the movie while you are watching it with your friends.
The problem with the cinema experience today is that it really hasn't evolved much from the advent- overpriced, unhealthy, boring concessions.
eric at June 27, 2005 8:31 AM
I still love seeing movies in theatres, since I find it much easier to immerse myself in the story when I know that I can't pause or rewind at my convenience, or I'm not interrupted by the doorbell or telephone. For me personally, though, the biggest issue is price. I make a good living now, but I grew up poor, and the frugal part of myself is always reminding the part with the wallet that I can wait 6 months and rent and have a roomful of people watch for a third of the cost for a single ticket.
Alan at June 27, 2005 8:55 AM
Since I gave my television away two years ago, the only way I can see movies is in the theater. I get Group Activity Tickets at a price of $5.50 each for Pacific Theaters (I usually go to the Sherman Oaks Galleria), and they are good for matinees, and movies after six that have been out for two weeks or more.
I usually go by myself on a weeknight when very few people are in the theater, and it makes for a nice experience. I enjoy watching movies alone.
Saw Bewitched this weekend. Word to those with TVs: If you *must* see it, wait for video...
Re: Tom Cruise. I boycott his movies, and John Travolta's movies, and anyone else that is in Scientology. In my opinion, it is a damaging cult, and I will not give my money to support it. I had wanted to see "Batman Begins", until I heard Katie Holmes was thinking about converting to Scientology. Of course, that could be part of a publicity stunt, but we'll see. I wonder what her family thinks about all this...
Goddyss at June 27, 2005 9:20 AM
DVD or no DVD, I still enjoy the going-out-to-see-a-movie experience. Say what you will about the price, but its still cheap entertainment compared to the price of even the lowest-budget play, symphony, or dance number. Personally, I find that the extra three bucks per ticket charged by the Arclight tends to keep out the talkative rif-raff (the trade off is a surplus of industry insiders - i.e. end-credit watchers who make it difficult for me to shuffle out).
Also, there are a lot of pretty girls out at the movies (which inspired the "look but don't leer" game that my girlfriend just loves).
Only the $6 grandstand seats at Dodger Stadium offer a better value.
Snakeman99 at June 27, 2005 2:24 PM
I still love going to the movies, but I sadly had to become the big scary usher myself. I also have a rule, if it's not matinee price, I'm seeing 2 or more for my money. I also sneak in my own sodas and snacks because I can't afford to spend 20 bucks for a soda and a candy bar. So basically, if you disregard almost all the rules of the movie theater (including not threatening other patrons with bodily harm if they won't shut the hell up) it can still be fun.
Lia at June 29, 2005 2:35 AM
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