Moron Friends Can Kill Your Sex Life
From today's mail:
Hey there Amy.Ok. So here's the story. Last Halloween my boyfriend and I went to a party. He was dressed like a football player. I went as a little girl going to a birthday party-anklets, MaryJanes, a pretty little dress and pinnafore, pink and white rhumba panties, pigtails with big ribbons....you get the idea...Anyway...I was the hit of the party and won first place.
When we got home that night, we got playful and he threw me over his knee and scolded me like the bad little girl I was being....and then we had really hot, intense sex. I'm talking intense.
OK. So...flashforward to now and my "little girl" wardrobe has grown to include 2 school uniforms, plenty of white cotton panties with cute little designs on them, saddle shoes and the like.
I usually wear my hair in pigtails and I have become quite the actress. NOW...Before you think this is all my boyfriend's idea, I have to admit that I enjoy letting my inner child out. I love the cute clothes, especially those adorable little underpants and anklets- and I am turned on by having someone take control. Even the spankings are fun-always over his knee-but never too hard...it's not about the pain.
The problem is that while discussing my adventures with some girlfriends over lunch, someone suggested that my boyfriend is a child molester and that there is something wrong with me. That I must have been molested at one time-I wasn't. And my boyfriend would never touch a child-I know that-
It's just that now I'm feeling a little guilty-if that's the right word-about how we "play." Is this fantasy? Is this a fetish? Is this wrong? We're kinda of at a standstill right now-no role-playing in other words-and the sex is just ok-
I need some help.
Any advice? Thanks....
My response:
Oh, please. (That's to the self-proclaimed child sexual abuse expert.) This is one of the most garden variety fantasies there is. My advice: Stay away from the girl who told you that, because she's a moron, and you'd do better to associate with intelligent, rational people (ie, those who base their contentions on actual evidence, not [forgive me] lint they pulled out of their ass). Go put on your mary janes and have some fun.
As an oversexed bleeding heart liberal, I find that politically incorrect sexual role play is not only great fun. It's an important intellectual and emotional exercise. I prefer not to feel reverence for my ethical commitments or my pleasures.
Lena at June 10, 2005 8:18 AM
Years ago, when hubby and I lived in separate cities, I emailed him that I was, "crawling around his floor wearing only my big white Catholic schoolgirl panties, crawl crawl crawl, hmm, looking under the bed..." He wrote back, "I think I have to go find a sock now..." meaning, for the clean-up. Guys like big white panties; it's normal. It's the guys who only like thongs that worry me.
nancy at June 10, 2005 8:24 AM
I think you need to add a webcam to your site Nancy...
eric at June 10, 2005 9:48 AM
Our society is extremely repressed and paranoid, as witnessed by the opinion of the writer’s “friend”. We are conditioned to render judgments, particularly when we are outside of our own comfort zone. Religion exacerbates this situation by adding unneeded guilt and shame to what is completely natural. My judgment says that whatever happens between two consenting adults is their business.
Fantasies are good. Mmmm.
Goddyss at June 10, 2005 9:59 AM
Oh, if only I could tell a tale of my favorite BHL's politically incorrect sexuality; especially hillarious in light of said BHL's life's work!
Nancy, it's guys who wear thongs who worry me -- unless they're already committed to the other team.
Nancy is a hottie, and talented, too. If ever you're at Mélisse, go read the wall, and you'll see the story of the lunch she and I and Sam Dunn had there. (Her LA Weekly review of the place.) Sidney Poitier, one of the most handsome and gentile men on the planet, was there at the time. I don't normally do movie-star sightings, but that man is beyond Hollywood. Still gorgeous even now.
Amy Alkon at June 10, 2005 10:07 AM
Did I say "two" consenting adults? I should have just said "consenting adults". My bad.
Goddyss at June 10, 2005 10:16 AM
BHL? boyfriend/husband/lover?
eric at June 10, 2005 10:25 AM
BHL: Beverly Hills Lawyer?
Goddyss at June 10, 2005 10:54 AM
Children have the dirtiest sex possible. That's why childhood is remembered with such nostalgia.
Lena at June 10, 2005 11:42 AM
You mean Sidney Poitier's not Jewish?
Cathy Seipp at June 10, 2005 11:56 AM
The only letter I have read in the AGoddess realm that saddens/infuriates me as much as this one is the letter (published maybe a year or so ago) from the woman who couldn't understand why her husband was disappointed when she returned her "slut" outfit he bought for their romantic getaway weekend, because it wasn't her style. Perhaps she is the woman who was having lunch with todays luckless letter writer.
Is it because sex is such a strong drive that the church fears it so?
John O at June 10, 2005 12:00 PM
Sigh. I meant genteel. I used to have natural spell-check built into my brain. It seems it's been pushed out by news of which movie star has a cold sore and advances in eyeshadow technology.
And, actually, that's very funny, Cathy.
Amy Alkon at June 10, 2005 12:19 PM
Oh, every perv eventually has a run-in with the "concerned friend". It's like earning your wings.
Paul Hrissikopoulos at June 10, 2005 8:49 PM
A "concerned friend" who hasn't gotten boned in years, of course.
Lena-doodle-doo at June 10, 2005 11:24 PM
Dead on advice, Amy, as always. The only thing wrong with that girl's sex life is that she's choosing to confide it in the wrong people.
Patrick at June 13, 2005 7:33 AM
Her friend's a twit. If her and her boyfriend get into doggie style is this wanker friend going to tell her that she's sick and beastiality is wrong? Just leave it at 'our sex life is fucking fantastic!' with loser friends like these.
Lia at June 23, 2005 11:15 PM
Does anyone know wear one can buy black slip on plimsolls?
DAVID at October 15, 2005 4:28 PM
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