It's Miller Time!
Great piece by Larry Miller (the comedian, actor, and Weekly Standard writer), in the Chicago Trib, about bringing this fractured mess of a country together:
We've forgotten that on any issue, especially the big ones, like war, both sides have part of the truth, and I'm tired of America being like one giant "Crossfire." You know why 5 percent of the left and 5 percent of the right spend their lives yelling at each other? Because they love it.Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of red, and I'm sick of blue. I like purple. I think you do too. Here's a good place to start.
I don't care what some bureaucratic pinhead in Washington renames it, we're at war. They can call it the "Struggle for niceness" or "A really big effort to stop meanies," but it's not a tug-of-war, it's a war. And I might not know anything about war, but here's the way I see Iraq going:
"All right, men, settle down and take your seats. Your mission today is to ride up and down the street until someone shoots you."
"Uh, begging your pardon, sir, but did you say we drive our tanks down the ... "
"Whoa, whoa, no one said anything about tanks. We give you a '65 Impala."
"A '65 ... At least the windows are curved, maybe the bullets will glance off?"
"That's the spirit. Good luck, men!"
I know every expert could say, "Oh, that's just stupid," but you know what? That's the way it looks to me. And I'll bet you a dollar, left or right, that's the way it's looking to you. We need one of these guys to come up with something better.
Napoleon once said, "If you're going to take Vienna, take Vienna." I bring that up for a reason: Let's take Vienna. As long as we're at it. Come on, Austria? We could do that one. By the way, that's the way to get the French with us. "Take Vienna? Again? Oui, absolument. Now we're on board. Austria. Always with the stupid Mozart festivals ..."
Silly? Of course I'm being silly. Sometimes, if you don't laugh, you feel like crying. But I have a message to Washington. Both sides. Don't you dare tell me, "Oh, you don't know what you're talking about."
No. You don't. Stop raising money and posing, and get us out of this. Make a plan, make 50 of them, make 1,000 of them. Then pick one, and tell us what it is. Clearly. Not like a 9-year-old reading out loud. And with all due respect, I don't think you can do that by clearing brush and going to sleep early. Mr. President, I need you to tell us, a lot better than you have, and not once every eight months in a hangar.
I don't know who's booking these speeches or writing them, but, not to mince words, they stink. You're losing the big bulk of the country because you're not communicating. No one's asking Bush to be Cedric the Entertainer, but please. Folks, John Kerry was stiff and wooden, but Bush makes Kerry look like Ben Vereen.
If you can't pluck the insurgents out in Iraq because they're buried too deep, fine. Surround the bad places, and sit there while the Iraqi troops learn how to button their shirts, or whatever they're doing. But stop having our guys drive up and down the street with candy. First, win.
Good grief, get enough men over there to link arms and walk across the place. Pick a plan, and say it like you mean it. God knows our soldiers do.
Our people over there are blue, true blue, and we all agree on that, and they've bled too much red, and we all agree on that too. If we're going to ask for more, I think we owe them a little purple.
Or at least Vienna.
Amen! Bush does read out loud like a nine year old and there is no confidence in his speeches - they all sound like f'n hallmark cards about freedom - we're all aware how much you like the United States, dummy, now let's act like you know something other than the colors of the flag. I will admit that I am terrible at reading in front of groups and that I have no idea how to organize an army to combat something like Al Queda ... but I'm not the president of the U.S, so no one's going to suffer because of it either.
Abby at October 6, 2005 6:48 AM
I'll second that amen.
deja pseu at October 6, 2005 7:27 AM
[quote]We've forgotten that on any issue, especially the big ones, like war, both sides have part of the truth, and I'm tired of America being like one giant "Crossfire." You know why 5 percent of the left and 5 percent of the right spend their lives yelling at each other? Because they love it.[/quote]
ahh, crossfire. i remember that being my cue to exit the dining facility, not only because it meant it was time to get back to work, but also because prolonged viewing would render my stomach incapable of retaining its contents.
i'll have to paraphrase, because unfortunately i missed it, but jon stewart said it quite well in that the only thing the media seems to be valuing is extremity of viewpoints.
people need to realize that the key to progress is concession and finding a middle ground that suits reasonable people, not bashing the other side over the head with flimsy straw men and shouting until the first person loses their voice.
if you ever come across an article by joe galloway, read it. he's an honest broker of insight, specifically with all things military, with the credentials and chutzpah to back it up.
let me back that up with a linky
[off topic]ever consider php? this html stuff is makin' me have to remember all my old skool skills[/off topic]
g*mart at October 6, 2005 12:33 PM
> people need to realize that the key to progress
> is concession
Naw, politics is all about contention. People want stuff.
Crid at October 6, 2005 1:25 PM
i said progress; politics is something completely different, or so it would seem.
g*mart at October 6, 2005 5:22 PM
"Politics" is a word for 'people getting their needs met'. There's a lot of folks out there who've made progress.
Crid at October 6, 2005 5:47 PM
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