Literary License In Family Values-Land
"He asked if they should fuck the deer."
The above words were written by Scooter Libby in what The New Yorker's Talk Of The Town calls Libby's "1996 entry in the long and distinguished annals of the right-wing dirty novel."
More from the literary Libby:
"At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."
Suddenly, my sexual fantasies are looking very vanilla.
Perrspectives.com takes stock of the hard liners' soft porn here -- including Lynne Cheney's lesbo page-turner, Sisters, excerpted here. My favorite bit is Cheney's "Eve and Eve" bit with two women (reminiscent of the fundanutters complaining about "Adam and Steve") "loving one another as they knew they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit."
Just wondering, but are there lots of lesbian-centric novels (or any at all) written by straight chicks?
Perrspectives continues:
As it turns out, poorly crafted, soft-core pornography seems to be quite the cottage industry among America's conservative chattering classes. Much to the dismay of the family values merchants in the American Taliban, Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly ("Those Who Trespass" - 1998) and Second Lady Lynne Cheney ("Sisters" - 1981) also write - as well as talk - trash. And speaking of conservative...um...mouthpieces, who could forget male escort turned White House press stooge turned blogger, Jeff Gannon?
O'Reilly isn't just a bad soft-core porn writer. He's a one-man suggestion box for terrorists. Hmm, suddenly, I'm a little unclear on the family values platform: Bestiality and encouraging large-scale murder?
(I guess all bets are off once you're out of the womb!)
Wonder what Pat "Yer Gonna Burn In Hell, You Science Freaks" Robertson thinks of O'Reilly, Libby, and Mrs. Cheney's louche literary aspirations?
Bill O'Reilly doesn't write very good porn. His sex scenes use terms too clinical to excite.
For a taste, from his rather pompously written Those Who Trespass (nothing like a good book title that borrows from the Lord's Prayer):
Perhaps, if he truly wanted to excite, he would have treated us to some of those "vulgar" words. "Buttocks"? Please. If you were describing a physical examination, or a professional massage, you'd use "buttocks," but in the context of a sex scene, how about "booty," "derriere," "caboose," or the classic but still legitimate "ass"? "Firmly gripped"? Why? Is he afraid that it will somehow fall off and he's holding it for her?
Here's another, more often quoted:
If you're going to describe a torrid sexual encounter, you need to get torrid. "Most sensitive erogenous zone"? Good gosh! O'Reilly must get hot and bothered alot at his doctor's office. All those medical terms flying around must send him into multiple orgasms.
Patrick at November 14, 2005 7:11 AM
Today, November 14th is my birthday. My well-wishers can leave their happy birthday messages right here. Thanking you in advance.
Chris.
everybody hates chris at November 14, 2005 7:52 AM
And most of you laughed a few months back when I suggested someone could make a fortune producing Christian relevant porn....
Happy birthday Chris- hate ya buddy!
eric at November 14, 2005 8:42 AM
Happy Birthday, Chris, although I'm indifferent to you.
Patrick at November 14, 2005 12:06 PM
HBTY Chris.
Never forget our former Second Family!
Dan Quayles':"Standing Firm" (Harpercollins, May 1995).
Marilyn Qualye: "Embrace the Serpent" (Crown, March 1992)
Crid at November 14, 2005 12:43 PM
Thanks guys for the greetings
that was nice.
Chris
chris at November 14, 2005 8:43 PM
Are links working today?
Crid at November 29, 2005 9:41 AM
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