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Droop Therapy
I just put up a new column: A lady's a little tweaked that guys think younger women are hotter (um, duh!). Here's a canapé from my reply:

Think about it: If men evolved to be attracted to grandmas, and women to men who do bong hits and nap a lot, the human race would’ve died off before it ever got out of the cave.

I particularly loved all the huffy letters from women in their 40s who suggested I was being rude to "my older sisters." (Um, at 41, I am my older sister.) Then there was the "lady" who thought she was being clever with this one:

Know why men don't get mad cow disease!!!? Because they're all pigs!!!!!

There's a woman who's got a calendar full of dates!

Posted by aalkon at November 21, 2005 8:38 AM

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I enjoyed your stuff about older women moaning about guys their age wanting younger women. Well, here in the DC area most 40-50 year old women want to go out with guys 20-30. Some their kids age! Most of the "older" guys are strapped paying child support to those "younger" women. So I guess it all works out, cross the age border and things do indeed change. Most guys in their 40-50's sure would love to bang em, the younger gals, but the resulting drama that comes from turning the clock back keeps em in check. Besides most older gals know how to really set men up for a court date. And it is not unheard for wives and mistrisses linking up to drain a guy dry. I like your advice about the "one stop shop" deal. Friendship/trust are key, but that hunger for "Lust/Romance" one more time can really sink your battleship!
Go see American Beauty, the movie.

Posted by: Bob at November 21, 2005 8:30 AM

Saw it. Thanks for the nice comment, by the way.

And it just amazes me how people whine about what they can't have, when it just makes them even more unattractive to be around than they were initially!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at November 21, 2005 9:03 AM

As another woman in her 40s (and one who is often actively pursued by guys in their 20s), I'm not sure I understand "Mature"'s complaint. It sounds like she can't be happy unless every man in our age group is lusting after her. I would think one worthwhile man would be enough, and it stands to reason that finding one out of thousands would take some time. Why should she even notice what the also-rans are doing?

Posted by: That Julia at November 21, 2005 12:13 PM

I'm more interested in women my age (40), but a lot of them seriously bitter. There's also an unpleasant scent of desperation about some of them. Maybe they should lighten up a bit?

Posted by: Todd Fletcher at November 21, 2005 12:20 PM

" inject your butt into your face. "

Oh my... That has to be the funniest thing I have seen written in a while.

Posted by: bret at November 21, 2005 1:27 PM

Why, thank you, Bret! And Todd, those who take my advice on easing up -- realizing they can have sex and love, but maybe they can't expect it all in one place -- really do have the best chance of finding it, because they're the ones who won't come off bitter.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at November 21, 2005 1:46 PM

I don't think it's asking for the moon for women over 40 to find sex and love in one place. Sex, love, and a guy with looks like Brad Pitt may be pushing the expectation envelope, but there are plenty of men out there looking for both companionship and a good roll in the hay. I have several women friends over 40 who have managed to find good relationships. The nice thing about being the age we are is that we're smarter: we've learned what's important to the equation and what isn't (Rolex watch, not so much) and that the relationships that work involve compromise and realistic expectations. Say what you want about biology, Amy, but there are both men and women out there who are evolved enough to know that packaging is just packaging, and packaging won't drive to the drugstore for a bottle of Pepto when you get a stomach bug in the middle of the night.

Posted by: deja pseu at November 21, 2005 3:05 PM

No, it's not asking too much - but that's a way women can relax and not panic, which tends to give them a rather unattractive quality in men's eyes. I'm 41 and I have a great relationship with somebody I have the hots for who also drove all the way to the beach two nights in a row with a vat of chicken soup from Canters when I was sick two weeks ago.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at November 21, 2005 3:24 PM

Well, certainly agree that desparation is a turnoff, for both men and women. Funny thing is I was much more desparate for a relationship in my early 20's than later, and even though I was probably more culturally attractive then, had much less male interest than when I was in my 30's, when I figured out not being in a relationship was not the end of the world.

Oh, and Junior's also does a pretty mean chicken soup, and it's closer. Just sayin'. :-)

Posted by: deja pseu at November 21, 2005 3:43 PM

now i haven't had TOO much experience with in this regard, but my ex had about ten years on me. she was awesome! further details probably wouldn't be prudent, but she was probably the most level headed and tantrically gifted woman i've met. it's just too bad she had a hankerin' for commitment (and lives in a foreign land).

if i had to choose between an attractive older woman and a cute coed, i'd take mrs. robinson every time.

Posted by: g*mart at November 22, 2005 1:52 AM

Had a similar experience to g*mart. NO probs with the 40s here.

Posted by: LYT at November 22, 2005 10:48 PM

Ooh, LYT and Mrs. Robinson! Woohooo!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at November 23, 2005 6:44 AM

If we're going to make that analogy, I must admit that I am now closer to Dustin Hoffman's actual age at the time of The Graduate, as opposed to his character's age.

Posted by: LYT at November 23, 2005 12:25 PM

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