Advice Goddess Blog
« Previous | Home | Next »

Making Crime Pay!


Woohoo! Got six hundred bucks in the mail today from my car thief ($120-a-month court-ordered restitution he's supposed to pay every month, starting this summer, but hasn't paid for five months). Since he was dumb enought to steal my pink car and drive around Los Angeles in it, it's no wonder he can't spell my name right.

The money was supposed to arrive on Wednesday. Well, he said it would arrive then. When it didn't, I called him and barked at him (in Rottweiler, not Yorkshire Terrier), without so much as a hello: "George, Amy Alkon. WHERE'S MY MONEY!" (For the record, it wasn't a question.) Thiefie claimed to have tracking numbers for the DHL letter, blah blah blah...and would send them to me the next morning "from work." Yeah, right.

Well, he did, and there the package was there when I went to pick up my mail. Finally! He said on the phone that I would have "a surprise package coming." Well, I don't think he's smart enough to successfully blow his nose, so I'm wondering if it might be my dad's typewriter that was in my trunk, along with a brand new Rifat Ozbek jacket I really liked, and $50 worth of party rental tables and chairs -- that turned out to be (and I can't remember the number exactly now) but, well...much more...when the rental tables and chairs turn into purchased tables and chairs...after your car thief makes off with the trunk of your car along with the rest of it.

Beware thieves, hit-and-run drivers, and other dirtbags...It's Accountability Season in Advice Goddess Land!

Next in line? It's...


Posted by aalkon at December 30, 2005 10:24 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:


Happy new year.

Posted by: david at December 30, 2005 9:18 PM

To quote from GoodFellas
"Fuck you, pay me!"

Posted by: katecoe at December 30, 2005 9:21 PM

Leave a comment