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My Illegal Drug Stash


Well, it's not illegal to have the stuff; just illegal to sell it in the USA. I bring it back from France: Anthelios with Mexoryl, the best available sun protectant on the market, and Vichy under-eye stick, also with Mexoryl. Mexoryl has been "widely used in Europe and elsewhere since 1993." But, hey, the FDA is just looking out for your welfare in refusing to approve it...for years, and years, and years. Yet, just yesterday, there was a breakthrough in the FDA approval process. What did they approve? Just guess. We'll play a little game, Pick Your Potential Side Effects!

First, there's Door Number One! Behind Door Number One, we have, well...not much:

Skin inflammation and an itchy rash. Rare, but not impossible. (Incidence is 0.1-2 per cent.)

Door Number Two, on the other hand, is chock full of potential nastiness! Here goes!

Oily spotting on underwear, flatulence, urgent bowel movements, fatty or oily stools, increased number of bowel movements, abdominal pain or discomfort, and inability to hold back stool (incontinence). Between 1 in 250 and 1 in 70 patients experienced one or more of these symptoms in the first year. Generally, the side effects occurred within three months of starting therapy. In about 50% of patients, the side effects resolved within one to four weeks, but the effects in some patients lasted six months or longer. Patients...with a history of oxalate kidney stones may develop increased levels of oxalate in their urine, which may increase the risk of kidney stones.

Lemme picked Door Number One? Yay! This reflects a level of intelligence commensurate with or greater than that of the average cocktail peanut.

Accordingly, you just approved Mexoryl SX, the ingredient in my sunscreen. The FDA, on the other hand, approved an oily stool, incontinence, abdominal pain and kidney stone-producing new diet pill called Orlistat. Icky!

But, wait, there's more!


Like a bat, I prefer to come out after sundown

Yes, I am, perhaps, the whitest person in Los Angeles. At least I won't look like an Hermes handbag when I'm 50.

In other UVA/UVB-blocking news, I just got my driver's side window Ashkenazified (ie, tinted with clear LLumar UVShield film to block the UVA and UVB so I won't get cancer, or...horrors!...what I call "car-face" -- when the left side of a driver's face is substantially age-ier than the side facing away from the sun).

If you, too, would like to get this done, check out the LLumar site for the tinter nearest you. If, however, you live in Lost Angeles, I highly recommend A-Pro Glass Tinting, 11715 Santa Monica Blvd, West LA, 310-966-1700.

Talk to Tom. He's very nice. Tell him the wacky redhead with the Honda Insight sent you. I don't get any commissions or anything, but we did have a lovely chat about all the cancerous moles he's had hacked off!

Photo of contraband, courtesy of self. Photo of self stolen, as usual, from Gregg Sutter.

Posted by aalkon at January 24, 2006 11:23 AM

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"Ashkenazified"? And the meaning/etymology of this term would be what? The first thing that comes to my mind (and search results) are the Ashkenazi Jews, as opposed to the Sephardic Jews.

Posted by: Michael at January 24, 2006 6:15 PM

Ooooh, thanks for the Llumar recommendation. I am also the color of the paper in my printer and now live in a very sunny climate. The driver's side sunlight is definitely getting to me. Happy to hear there may be an easy fix...

Posted by: marion at January 24, 2006 9:30 PM

While I'm post-Jewish and against religion, and godless, my origins are Ashkenazi...hence, I made up the word.

Fab, Marion!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 24, 2006 11:06 PM

Thank you for the clarification. I feared that yet one more indicator of my being hopelessly out of touch with pop culture had, er, "popped" up.

Posted by: Michael at January 27, 2006 6:02 PM

You can purchase the Anthelios with Mexoryl, as well as Ombrelle with Mexoryl at
Amazing stuff!

Posted by: Vitamin at April 3, 2006 12:49 PM

Nice site guys.. didnt have a chance to meet you guys at the conference but hope to see you guys in bing in the near future. stay up.

Posted by: Indira at November 14, 2006 9:08 AM


Posted by: test at November 22, 2006 9:43 PM

Sorry about the first entry. My fingers don't always go where they should.

Posted by: Gasinas at November 30, 2006 7:52 AM

This is very nice site, but my is better! ;)

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