Getting Your Money's Worth From PR
I guess spell-check and attention to grammar, syntax, and meaning cost extra. On Wednesday, I got an emailed press release from Stephen at Trent & Company, with the subject line:
"Single on Valentine's Day -- Ways to Cope from -- Tips from Carrie Bradshaw and Dr. Charles Sophy."
I couldn't believe I was getting a press release with tips from a fictional character, so I opened it. From the confusing subject line, Ways to Cope from -- (ways to cope from what?), to the muddled writing, the thing was just one long (and, I would guess, expensive) mess. Remember, PR doesn't come cheap. I corrected only a few spelling errors in bold below. I didn't feel like rewriting it. And let's just say, I wasn't too hot on the ideas expressed, either. Here's the body of the release:
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. "
I think that was the "Carrie Bradshaw" portion of the press release, but, surprise, surprise, it's sloppily unattributed, so we really can't be sure!
Whether its your fictional best friend Carrie Bradshaw or well(DASH)known Beverly Hills Physiatrist, Dr, Charles Sophy, the same message rings true that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one. According to Dr. Sophy, “An understanding of self and awareness will bring to light both your strength(s) and weaknesses. Once you've established a relationship with yourself and know yourself, you will then be ready to handle and relationship or social situation.”
Valentine's Day is a love it or hate it type holiday. When you are in a relationship that works all the flowers, candy, and jewelry in the world wont add up to the value of that relationship. When you are not in a relationship you often forget about what really matters and can make yourself sick that you're the only one in the office without roses on her desk.Dr. Charles Sophy makes the following recommendations for any single person this Valentine's day:
Be aware that you are prone to be moody and upset -- self awareness to your mood and anxiety due to feeling alone is the key to not let things get out of control.
Make plans in advance as to keep yourself busy with and occupied during these times when you know you will feel down in the dumps.
Keep yourself busy almost to the point of exhaustation that when it is bed time (ONE WORD) you will fall right asleep rather than dwell on your loneliness.
In the self(DASH)awareness process be able to remove yourself from the situation and remove yourself from these situations.
Don’t be ashamed to treat yourself like your own valentine nobody deservers it more than you...go to the spa, get your hair done, buy a a sexy new outfit. What ever makes you feel good about yourself!indulge indulge indulge.
For Children of Single Mothers:
Kids can make mom something special to show her somebody does love her..
Kids can take mom out for a hamburger or a special date with mom
Kids can do a special activity such a hike or a walk -- make sure its something mom enjoys
Buy her something special that you she can treasure.It .doesn’t have to cost a ...candy or flowers are fine.
Write her a poem...writer her song or sketch about how a great mom she is...
Dr. Charles Sophy is triple board certified in adult psychiatry, child/adolescent psychiatry and family practice. He offers an exceptional perspective on mental health rooted in an understanding of physical well-being and neuropsychiatry, as well as two decades of clinical practice that ranges from indigent populations in public-sector facilities to our nation’s business leaders and Hollywood personalities.
At his private practice in Beverly Hills, Calif.(comma) his clients include many high-profile families and their children. In addition, Dr. Sophy is the Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services. His department, the largest of its kind in the U.S., is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of 40,000 foster children. He also is an Associate Clinical Professor at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute, and regularly is a speaker to groups of healthcare professionals, parents, medical students, residents and social workers.
PS It's stuff like the "poor single loser" ideas put out in this press release (and by far-too-many people and companies who aren't in the mental health biz) that make people who aren't in relationships feel bad. I suggest that all of the un-Valentined look at people who are in relationships, and see how many of them actually look happy. Maybe not being in a relationship can be something to be celebrated? At the very least, order in some food and rent Kill Bill 2, and other movies about love gone wrong.
MORE: I was so stunned by how poorly this was written, I emailed the publicist who sent it to me:
My advice to you is to spell-check your press releases before they go out. Attention to grammar and syntax is also a plus. I'm tempted to post this on my blog as an example of everything a press release shouldn't be, but I'll restrain myself.Note: Carrie Bradshaw is a fictional character.
If you represent any anthropologists or evolutionary psychologists who publish peer-reviewed studies, I'd be thrilled to see those studies.
He writes back:
thank you...i need to work on that...i get too excited!
I write back:
Um, you need to go back and get your GED.
I should have also noted that if you aren't an 11-year-old girl trying to swap Hello Kitty items, and are instead an adult trying to make your way in the business world, you might want to take that extra fraction of a second to hit the "shift" button with your pinkie, and capitalize that "i," and maybe even that "t"!
He writes back:
I am sorry your highness...I have a BA in Real Estate and Urban Land Economics....and am partially done with an MBA...spelling has never been my fortay...What a surprise. I respond:
That's forté, and they have programs for that. Your press release was the most poorly written, ill-thought-out professional document I've received in years. If you can't write, think, or spell, there are hundreds or thousands of people in the New York area who can. I suggest hiring the brilliant Michelle Collins, of the blog, You Can't Make It Up. Pay her well, she's worth it. youcantmakeitup@gmail.com is her email address, and I don't know her personally, I just think she's a fantastic writer and thinker.
I get back from the evolutionary psychology conference in Palm Springs and find this email from him:
If you ever embarrass me the way you did today....Who do you think you are? you are fucking with people's jobs and lives...how dare you do that...
I'm not quite sure what I did to embarrass him. I write back:
*I* embarrassed you? How? You send out a press release -- for public consumption -- that was written as if by an 11-year-old who'd missed a few years of school. How can you not be mortified by that? I try my best not to let punctuation errors creep into emails to friends, let alone documents sent out to journalists! And in the name of a client who was trusting you to work in his best interest! And let's not even get started on how horribly it was written and thought out.I tried to offer you help -- a suggestion of somebody (Michelle Collins, an excellent writer) who would be good to write your press releases for you. If I "ever embarrass" you...? Is that a threat?
Again, *I* didn't do a thing to embarrass you. You did that all by your lonesome. Moreover, if your client doesn't fire you for that piece of shit you sent out with his name on it, well, let's just say I don't have a high opinion of anybody who sends out such a piece of crap and then...now, let's get really, really stupid...sends what kind of reads as a threatening email to a newspaper columnist.
But, let's not leave it to me to be the arbiter. It should be a publicist's dream -- I'll post your entire release on my site for tomorrow, and let my readers be the judge.
Don't you have any pride in your work? -Amy Alkon
UPDATE: I just opened an email from the guy. The response is to my question, "Don't you have any pride in your work?"
In a message dated 1/27/06 6:24:04 AM, stephen@trentandcompany.com writes:
i do and thats why i am so upset...give me a chance please...somebody called my client and told them they were blogging about my release I thought it was you...forgive me!
I wrote back:
Well, it's good to see I'm not the only one. Your client should fire you, and so should your boss. I fight with myself over every "a, and" and "the" in my column before I send it out. Apparently, you don't even quibble with yourself about spelling. This isn't getting "excited," as you put it before. It's something entirely different. Violent laziness? Abject indifference? Feel free to come speak your piece on my blog, advicegoddess.com/goddessblog.htmlAttention to grammar, syntax, and spelling, as well as tight writing, are encouraged. -Amy Alkon
Um, what was the *point* of that press release? I don't see anything about a book or a seminar, so why pay to issue a press release? Is the "physiatrist" (and for a moment there I wondered whether we were getting relationship advice from a doctor who specializes in the treatment of physical disabilities)trying to make people so depressed that they come to his office for treatment?
jenl1625 at January 27, 2006 5:51 AM
Sheesh, and you only bolded maybe half of the errors in that release. It's pitiful.
Bad grammar and spelling really stick in my craw, especially when they come from paid professionals. There are few things that irritate me more than signs or a website for a business that are full of stupid errors I knew to avoid by High School (e.g., confusion between it's and its, no apostrophe when pluralizing, etc.). I can't tell how much is ignorance and how much is laziness, but sloppy writing for either reason when you're trying to attract business is unacceptable.
I took a course on journalistic writing a little while ago for fun (I'm more accustomed to academic writing and thought I should branch out), and my instructor (a former columnist for a few papers) regularly took it upon himself to do the same thing as you did. He said that people often get really snarky like that when you call them on their lousy writing.
Furthermore, I'm married and I don't care about Valentine's Day. It's actually one night my husband and I avoid going out to dinner.
Sheila at January 27, 2006 5:52 AM
I'm with you, Sheila. I see Valentine's Day as a big, commercial thing, and a make-up day for people who treat each other like crap year round. If you're nice to each other all the time...every day can be Valentine's Day! Now, perhaps it's because I'm not Christian, but, accordingly, I love staying home alone on Christmas eve, watching a French movie, and going for a run. (Gregg sees French movies [besides the old Goddard, etc.] as a form of torture.)
Amy Alkon at January 27, 2006 7:00 AM
Ugh. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who goes ballistic over stupid and careless errors in pieces like this. What you write in text messaging or personal e-mail is one thing, but I've never been able to get over a knee-jerk reaction that whoever sends a piece like that must be both lazy and stupid. Granted, I'm an English major, but it's always been a pet peeve of mine. People will judge you by the quality of your work, so why give them an opportunity to think of you as an idiot? Although by this guy's responses, he's not only stupid, but rude and arrogant as well!
amh18057 at January 27, 2006 7:01 AM
There are an alarming number of people out there who believe that writing well -- and insisting on good writing from people who make their living as writers -- is as silly and outdated a skill as knowing how to drive a four-in-hand carriage or which one is the fish fork. As long as you can sort of figure out what they were trying to say, well, then that's OK.
This chaps my ass like little else. I mean.
Don't even get me started on reporters who leave misspellings and stupid errors in their copy because "that's the editor's job."
The physiatrist/psychiatrist screwup is particularly appalling.
A colleague of mine -- a copy editor -- once nearly started an uprising at an olde-tyme country faire. He was watching the olde-tyme spelling bee, in which all the spellers were given olde-tyme slates and chalk; the pronouncer would give the word, everyone would write down their best guess, and show their slates. The word was "diphtheria." All but one spelled it without the first H, probably because the pronouncer pronounced it wrong (DIP-theria, instead of DIFF). At this point the bee should have been over, because everyone but the one correct speller was wrong. No. The pronouncer booted the correct speller instead. My colleague stood up and called out, "No! No! Check your dictionary! She's right!"
The pronouncer told him to sit down and shut up. He refused. The spellers started milling around on the stage uncertainly; the wrongly booted speller refused to leave. An argument broke out. It all ended sort of badly.
But it's nice to see someone stand up for what's right, you know?
Nance at January 27, 2006 7:28 AM
Isn't Carrie the creation of, and thus the property of Candace Busnell? I'll bet she'd hate to think her work is being used in this fashion. I'll bet her lawyers would LOVE to learn about this use.
And boy, PR really is the business of the stupid and positive about it.
KateCoe at January 27, 2006 8:16 AM
Absolutely. I didn't even touch the copyright issues. Those words probably come from the TV show, so Darren what's-his-name and Bushness AND HBO probably have rights there. You can no more use a bit like that in a press release than you can stick Sarah Jessica Parker's head in your ad for Preparation H.
Amy Alkon at January 27, 2006 8:33 AM
Maybe I'm not cut out for the Darwinian world of the web, but. . .isn't this a little over the top on your part? Yes, the press release is awful. Yes, the guy can't spell, think, whatever. Yes, he's an idiot for making a veiled threat to a member of the media -- especially when that press person is you. But, really, does it make you feel good/proud/powerful to know that you've probably cost him his job? Was his initial crime -- a truly terrible press release -- so horrific that you had to start poking at him and keep poking until he (inevitably) attacked back? And then, of course, you get to slam him as hard as you can in response. What exactly are you fighting for here except your right to be the arbiter of all good taste? I've read your blog enough to know that Amy always knows best, and anyone who doesn't agree with her is at the mercy of her (wonderful) wit and (sometimes unkind, even cruel) dismissiveness. But there are degrees of wrong and wrongheadedness, and not all of them deserve the full force of your ire. Go head. Enjoy dancing on my head now.
Ms. Too Nice at January 27, 2006 9:33 AM
I just received a release from A&E, hyping their Sunday "Breakfast with the Arts" program and containing this paragraph:
JULLIARD SCHOOL CENTENNIAL:
New York’s Julliard School first opened its doors 100
years ago as the Institute for Musical Arts and has
grown to the multi-faceted arts conservatory that it
is today. Over the years its music, dance and drama
divisions have graduated many leaders in the
performing arts -- Richard Rodgers, Paul Taylor, and
Phillip Glass, among them. This morning we go behind
the scenes for a closer look at its centennial
celebration.
"Juilliard," guys. "Juilliard."
Rhymes with "Godard."
(Amy: the "preview" function doesn't seem to be working.)
Todd Everett at January 27, 2006 10:36 AM
I believe it's actually "forte" without the accent -- and, little-known-fact, it's properly pronounced like "fort."
Franko at January 27, 2006 1:08 PM
Ms. Too Nice, a couple thoughts for you:
1. Amy didn't cost him his job (if he did get fired). He cost himself his job by putting together such a crappy email. If you can't do the job you're being paid to do, it's probably only a matter of time before someone catches on. So, if anything, maybe she hurried it along.
2. "Inevitably" attacked back? Adults can restrain themselves. An argument/fight/pissing contest usually takes two. This person could have avoided this whole debacle by not responding.
3. If Amy should be sheepish about anything, it should be fighting a war of words/wits with someone who is so obviously unarmed.
4. What I consider lesson #1 for being an adult (vs. being the twelve year old who was responding to Amy): LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF. Because we already know how to laugh at you.
Christina at January 27, 2006 2:12 PM
I am in the advertising business myself. Next week I have to fly out to meet with a client to explain terms like "radius" and "median family income".
I guarantee she makes in the mid six figure range. She treats everyone else like they are the idiot. Upon catching 3 errors of hers last year, where she had transposed zipcode numbers, her immediate, nasty response was "Why didn't you catch this earlier????"
I almost let the errors through since she had signed off on her own work. But I just laughed it off during happy hour, because that Peter Principle will catch up with her...
eric at January 27, 2006 2:48 PM
People who are in the business of writing should write well, unless they're being paid to write badly.
I'm glad Amy posted this. Too many MORANS get away with murder.
Deirdre B. at January 27, 2006 3:15 PM
http://www.jamesfaqs.com/Morans.jpg
Deirdre B. at January 27, 2006 3:17 PM
To the "Too Nice" lady who says she isn't cut out for the "Darwinian" world: Are you suggesting that the guy's work should be kept secret so his client keeps paying for work like this that does the opposite of serving him? When people use terms like "Darwinian" the way you did, they mean, "Oh, can't we pretend the world is different"...which is idiotic, because, no, you can't. What you can do is understand what reality is, and respond to it.
All the "Amy knows best" stuff - oh, please. I'm frequently an idiot, but I admit it and try to do better. I'm consistently a work in progress. What I don't do is pawn off crappy work. I call my writing process "bleeding through the eyeballs."
People are reading me, and counting on my information to be good and correct. If I'm sucky and incorrect, I'd expect them to write to the paper and tell them. In fact, I welcome it. Nobody should have a job because you feel pity for them, because they're keeping somebody good from having that job.
Perhaps because I don't believe in god and all the heaven and hell crap, I understand more than most people that this is all there is, and I think it's anti-life not to make the most of it -- which means not having boring friends, bad lunch, or doing substandard work.
Lemme tell you, I wouldn't even be a substandard car mechanic. I'd be worse. That's why I'd never work as a car mechanic. (I know, the mere idea of it is absurd.) But, it's a betrayal of trust of the customer/client -- which is partly why I was so irate here. The fact that the guy could so blithely send this out and excuse it -- that was part of it, too.
"Darwinian," as you use it, isn't a bad thing; it's life. Somebody who's passionate about their clients' work, and wants to "get it out there," and has the rudiments of English and advertising under their belt - that person would actually do something for the clients...besides get their releases posted on web sites under these circumstances (and remember, it seems from the guy's email there are more sites than just mine).
Amy Alkon at January 27, 2006 5:52 PM
"Was his initial crime -- a truly terrible press release -- so horrific that you had to start poking at him and keep poking until he (inevitably) attacked back? "
Well, yes. Truly terribly press releases and their authors should be decapitated. I's say you're not "too nice" but rather that you have no standards at all. Or you can't tell the difference.
And if it's Amy's blog, of course she's the taste maven.
But here's the deal--people in the business of communication need to be able to stand by their words. If their words are stupid, then they need to figure out a way to make those words less stupid. The worlds of commerce and work aren't like kindergarten where you get a gold star for just trying.
I now know that Stephen, Trent and Company and Dr. Sophy aren't very discerning about language. And thus, I think Dr. Sophy's advice about Valentines's Day, and probably all of therapy, is useless.
KateCoe at January 27, 2006 7:28 PM
I'd like to be known as Darwinian, if by that you mean brilliant, insightful, and hugely influential. Perhaps the writer actually meant competitive, dangerous, and lacking in mercy. The latter would be a slightly superficial summary of the real world that Darwin describes, rather than Darwin himself. I guess sometimes the work takes on a life of its own and causes the author's name to become an adjective. The goddess has a real point here, and could rightfully add to it that people who write this kind of stuff are wasting the time of their readers. Trying to get through something that bad is an exercise in figuring out what it was that the author was trying to say, but too lazy or illiterate to do.
Bob G at January 28, 2006 9:35 AM
LEARN TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF. Because we already know how to laugh at you. - that really should be a bumper sticker!
There's two words "forte". One is Italian, pronounced "fortay", as in "pianoforte" and means "strong" in musical dynamics. The other is mock French (ie looks like Frenh and is pronounced as if French, but it ain't French). It means strength as in a special personal ability. Wikipedia has a little info on this. Must be different in the US because in the UK I've only ever heard the personal strength version pronounced "fortay" (and spelled forte, with no accent, as if Italian.)
The general point of this thread is surely that if you deal in words you really ought to know about them. Sloppy writing is hard to distinguish from sloppy thinking. I mark student exam papers in Computer Science and they are a traditional source of nonsense. One I liked was about Boolean variables - logical variables which can only take two values, true and false. They are named after George Boole. The student wrote "bullion" variables. This makes me suspect that they had somehow mixed the ideas of gold bullion and logic, which is not likely to help their understanding of either concept. A professional writer should not produce such howlers.
Just to pre-empt any nit-picking: I deliberately use "they" for "he or she." :-)
Amy - preview didn't.
Norman at January 29, 2006 6:15 AM
Thanks, Norm - will look into preview thing.
And thanks, re: forte. It's when I think I know words and don't look them up that I get into trouble. I'd always thought that was French. I think I actually knew it from my years playing the flute and oboe...along with pianissimo, etc.
Amy Alkon at January 29, 2006 9:43 AM
The forte thing was news to me too.
Norman at January 30, 2006 1:35 AM
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