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Hee Hee, It Was Me!
Yes, Barry, that was me, a total stranger, calling you on your cell phone.

"Who are you? Who are you?" you asked, again and again. "I don't know you."

"No, you don't, but I know lots of things about you, Barry! Yes, I know lots and lots of personal details about you...down to your name and phone number, which you shouted into your phone at Starbucks, not caring in the least whether the rest of us wanted to hear all about you or not.

Just calling to let you know, Barry, that if you'd like your private life to remain might want to be a little more quiet next time! Bye!"

Well, that was satisfying!

Posted by aalkon at January 11, 2006 9:54 AM

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You really are a psycho. The preceding is in no way an insult.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at January 11, 2006 2:32 AM

I take it as a high compliment!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 11, 2006 2:49 AM

I like it. I really like it.

Posted by: Norman at January 11, 2006 8:06 AM

I rarely encounter these kinds of people. Maybe it is because I don't get out much, or maybe it is because I live in a less populated area (though not sparsely populated).

If there were more people like you - you know, people who confront bad manners instead of just being the victims of it - the world would be a much more polite place. Ironically, many people would consider you rude for calling the guy. That's not how it should be.

Posted by: Silver_Fox at January 11, 2006 8:29 AM

Bravo...I was in French restaurant, Che Cuunt, and the bitch next to me, ordered some foie gras. I promptly went out back, into the dumpster, pulled the carcass of the gutted goose out and then dumped it and its guts and blood over her head.

The waiter got snooty, I said qui qui mon ami cant you see, I am against the, how you say...tyranny!

The police were of course called, after I spoke to them, they broke out the cuffs and arrested the goose covered bitch. She sits in a 5 by 9 cell as we speak. I may drop the charges, but only if she services me through the bars of her cell.

Posted by: everybody hates chris at January 11, 2006 8:47 AM

Beats me why you frequent overpriced coffee houses anyway. I'm off to freeze in Paris -- seeya next month some time...

Posted by: Stu "El Inglés" Harris at January 11, 2006 9:10 AM

What Treacher said. That's a gruesome violation of all the social conventions a Westsider holds dear, Amy, and you're to be congratulated. Can you be hired on commision? Fucker in Ralphs pissed me off the other day, and I got his digits.

Posted by: Crid at January 11, 2006 9:14 AM

Well, maybe I'll see you there, Stu. Will be in overpriced coffee houses in Paris in February! I suggest anybody who's annoyed by a cell phoner call from a blocked phone and tell them so! It's exceptionally satisfying not to remain a victim.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 11, 2006 9:21 AM

Whenever I wonder whether I might be a little too crazy, along comes Chris to make me feel boringingly normal!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 11, 2006 2:23 PM

Don't worry, between this story and your little notes on SUV windshields and your frequent jet trips to Paris, there's no doubt whatsoever that you're completely, certifiably, terminally insane.

Posted by: Richard Bennett at January 14, 2006 3:55 AM

...and that's why we love you so, of course.

Posted by: Richard Bennett at January 16, 2006 3:22 PM

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