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Boor Watch, Minneapolis Airport
I'm on my way back from France (don't ask - via Charles de Gaulle, via Amsterdam Schiphol, via Minneapolis), leashed to one of a few rare outlets in the place, checking my email via Wifi.

A white guy, late 30s, chunky, fading hair, sky blue cotton sweater with shirttails hanging out, sunglasses atop head, is shouting into his cell. “I got my pictures last night…blah blah blah.” He was indignant that I would ask him, most politely, to please take the volume down.

“D’ya want me to whisper?!” he demands.

Me: “Why, yes, that would be nice. There are other people around you. Please be considerate.”

He retorted with razor wit: “Well, you’re invading my peace!”

Me: How, by tapping silently on the keyboard 50 yards away?

Him: Yes, yes you are!

He goes back to his conversation.

“I’m excited. I don’t even know what she looks like.”

Internet dating, huh?

Here, let me help you: She’s 20 pounds heavier, and 15 years older than she claims to be.

He did quiet down considerably after I announced that I’d post his conversation on the Internet.

Posted by aalkon at February 18, 2006 11:30 AM

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The Goddess Writes:

Here, let me help you: She’s 20 pounds heavier, and 15 years older than she claims to be.

On the other hand, you described HIM as "A white guy, late 30s, chunky, fading hair, sky blue cotton sweater with shirttails hanging out, sunglasses atop head."

Sounds like they were made for each other. Let nature take it course and hope that, for whatever reason, they don't reproduce.

Posted by: Patrick at February 18, 2006 10:17 AM

Two weeks ago while waiting for our flight to Colorado, we ended up sitting right across from Scott Hamilton apparently waiting for a flight to Torino to cover the Olympics. Learned quite a bit about his life as he spent the entire time on the phone talking to various folks. Even conducted in a normal voice, cell phone conversations are hardly private.

Posted by: deja pseu at February 18, 2006 2:35 PM

The man talking about his insurance deal late last month as the plane to Oakland sat in the gate in LA was not only rude, but totally dumb. I took notes on his entire conversation -- about a multi-million-dollar insurance deal going down on Monday (it was Friday then)...all-the-while turning to give him dirty looks for being loud. At the end of the flight, I asked, "Was that Scott Colber, C-O-L-B-E-R?" (One of the names he mentioned in the conversation.) He responded, "No, it's Culver. C-U-L-V-E-R."

Is it this "Scott Culver"?

http://www.weac.org/News/1999-00/june00/insure.htm

Not sure. Didn't get around to emailing him, or to writing up the conversation and posting it on my blog. Lucky for them.

You can sometimes learn some pretty interesting shit if you just sit around rude, stupid people with too much technology for their own good.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 18, 2006 2:58 PM

So does anybody know the legalese around recording those conversations? I carry around a little recorder for all those random 'note to self' thoughts and phone numbers and to-do lists you think of when driving and such and I think it would be great fun to record these conversations and play them back so these morons realize that 1) they really do sound that stupid, and 2) yes, I really can hear every nuance of your not so subtle convo about your hygiene (sp. please?) issues, and so can everyone else in this place. I'm sure it's probably not legal to use the recordings, but if I say 'hey asshole, I'm recording this', does that put me in the clear?

Posted by: Christina at February 20, 2006 11:20 PM

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