Advice Goddess Blog
« Previous | Home | Next »

Reality Bedding
The reality is, you're not going to get laid if a girl walks into your bedroom and sees this comforter. Agree with me? Disagree?

Posted by aalkon at February 22, 2006 8:45 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.advicegoddess.com/mt4/mt-tb.cgi/1103

Comments

I bet that gets more girls onto the bed than out the door. Those are hillarious. It would even be funny in the reverse situation, though I would spend all my time on the top.

Posted by: eric at February 22, 2006 1:04 PM

My girlfriend bought me the Kiss Comforter and I love it!! (twin size) It's so original and looks great with my Kiss poster on bedroom wall. For me at least, it's about fashion and art, not necessarily about getting laid.

Posted by: H.SternLover at February 22, 2006 1:09 PM

Washable? Please answer quickly....

Posted by: Crid at February 22, 2006 1:35 PM

Ladies?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 22, 2006 3:10 PM

Very L-word!

Posted by: Lena at February 22, 2006 3:11 PM

Very college dorm. Doesn't anyone read GQ anymore?

Why doesn't your comments server allow me to append my URL?

Posted by: Fritz at February 22, 2006 3:33 PM

Fritz, you're probably on bl*gspot. My spam blacklisting program (necessary, or I get thousands of spam a day, which makes me weep) blocks bl*gspot urls because so many are spam. My apologies. Necessary evil. And I'm with you. Seeing that is like seeing a guy have a bunch of Carmen Electra photos all over his walls. I instantly lose my girl version of whatever an erection is. (Not that I'd be interested in any guy who'd have that.) And the lesbians I know are much too cool to have lesbian action printed on their bedspread. Guys, don't think about what you want to see on the bed. Think about what your date will think when she walks into the bedroom to have sex with you. My boyfriend has white sheets and a colored comforter in a nice manly shade of wine. Boring. I like men with boring bedware. It's manly.

And PS Regarding the H.Sternlover comment: I told the guy from the company who sent the press release to me what I thought of the bedding, and that I was going to blog about it and see what my regular commenters thought of it. Interesting that H.Sternlover's first comment is such a sales'y one and that he knows so much about bedding that nobody else here seems to have heard of before.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 22, 2006 3:46 PM

He's a fraud. No one with a KISS poster on the wall in 2006 knows anything about fashion and art.

Posted by: Little Ted at February 22, 2006 3:52 PM

GAH,

um, I probably would not end up in that bedroom anyway. I do wonder if his table has a cloth with a lovely spread, Martha worthy to be sure.

Posted by: sonja at February 22, 2006 6:44 PM

"Doesn't anyone read GQ anymore?"

Did anyone EVER read GQ?

Posted by: Lena at February 22, 2006 6:51 PM

I think it depends on the girl.

I saw an exquisite female the other day hanging on this tattooed guy. ...and the tattoos could have been drawn from Hustler Magazine. Honestly, if this guy's arm had been a magazine, they'd have mailed it in brown paper. ...and there she was, good as gold.

Posted by: Ken Shultz at February 22, 2006 7:47 PM

Having given this a little more thought, I think the most likely scenario of today's wanton youth would be sex, and then the girl demanding the male remove the comforter, because, hey, she should be enough.

Then the girl takes it back to her dorm for naked twister with her sorority sisters.

At least THAT's how it happens in my world.

Posted by: eric at February 22, 2006 8:10 PM

I write for Hustler. I'm no prude. And I like photos of beautiful women, and appreciate the one of the two getting it on. It's fine if the guy has nice photo books of nudes and stuff. I don't mind porn either. It's just when a guy's blanket is the equivalent of an 11-grader's locker that it turns the stomach.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 22, 2006 8:45 PM

I didn't know you write for Hustler, and I bear Hustler no ill will.

I just find it remarkable that anyone would want the equivalent of Hustler printed on his bed sheets or tattooed on his arm. I also find it remarkable that a gorgeous female with, counting me, at least one other option would pick a guy with a prominent tattoo, a tattoo featuring a cartoon rack!

I find it remarkable when any female doesn't pick me, but I've chosen to find that irrelevant here.

Posted by: Ken Shultz at February 22, 2006 9:08 PM

But, "pulp"-style art is another story. My boyfriend is very into the pulps and noir, and has given me cards with femme fatale drawings, which I absolutely love. I don't mind tattoos on certain guys, but a guy whose bedspread is a pictorial like this - ick. So high school.

And PS Regarding Hustler, in my experience, they are a bazillion times more ethical and businesslike than many women's magazines. Somebody at Hustler edited a quote of mine in a way that changed it -- accidentally -- and apologized profusely when I pointed it out. (It, of course, went back to the correct quote before it went to print.) When I wrote for a woman's mag (before I knew better), they changed my quotes on purpose, along with the indentifiers of who said them (ie, an assistant, Los Angeles, became a TV producer, San Francisco). Disgusting.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 22, 2006 11:52 PM

"It's just when a guy's blanket is the equivalent of an 11-grader's locker that it turns the stomach."

It's funny, but I'm reminded of how I usually hide my porno videos from the fellows I sleep with. I wouldn't call it shame, exactly. I guess I want to be perceived as having desires that are more "complex" than the ones that porno usually targets. Trashy novels in foreign languages, casually strewn around the bed -- that's the effect I'm going for.

Posted by: The Story of O'Lena at February 23, 2006 12:12 AM

I have porn tapes in a small pile in my living room (over my CD player) but I do hide my Julie Andrews CDs!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 23, 2006 12:18 AM

I agree that it's just TOO high school. Or obnoxious frat-guyish. I'd actually rather see a ratty old blue blanket. Seems more normal, somehow.

You have Julie Andrews, too? I actually used to use an old Broadway-version Camelot tape to weed through guys. If they put up with it for me they were usually worth keeping around. Of course one liked it a little too much - he pretty quickly morphed into best gay friend.

Posted by: Kimberly at February 23, 2006 4:05 AM

The one with four girls on it. Every time you bedded a girl would be like a menage a cinq.

Would I get laid with that for a bed spread? Considering I'm a gay guy, probably not. And I'd probably lose the inclination myself.

Posted by: Patrick at February 23, 2006 4:10 AM

Camelot's in the car! No guy I've ever dated has liked Julie Andrews, and somehow, that seems very appropriate. My boyfriend does put up with it -- I mean, the horror that I listen to it at all, as I'd never subject him to it. He grew up during the punk era in Detroit, knows a lot of those people, and listens to Penderecki's Threnody For Hiroshima to lift his spirits...so he's not exactly a JA kinda guy.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 23, 2006 6:29 AM

"I have porn tapes in a small pile in my living room"

Mine are lining the walls (and soon the floor) of a walk-in closet.

Posted by: Lena at February 23, 2006 7:57 AM

My husband prefers country and heavy metal(!?), but did sit through the movie version of Camelot with me once ("Hey, isn't that the guy who played Dumbledore?"). I told him Julie Andrews was a much better Guinevere - then had to run through all her movies up to Princess Diaries before he knew who I was talking about. The hazards of marrying a younger man, I suppose.

On the other hand, he would NEVER shop for a comforter featuring semi-clad women. Or anything bedding-related, really.

Posted by: Kimberly at February 23, 2006 8:00 AM

I instantly lose my girl version of whatever an erection is.

Who are you and what have you done with Amy, dude?

The "girl version of an erection" is a wet pussy and hard nipples.

Posted by: steve at February 25, 2006 10:09 AM

It was a joke, okay!

Unless your nipples are the size of those helium tank tops, or you're naked or wearing a very thin t-shirt, a boner is usually a little easier to spot.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 25, 2006 10:58 AM

not to get crucified, but i'm really into reality-bedding. i think it's hot. i reviewed it on sex-kitten.net.

everyone that i've shown the bedding to is into it... from desperate husbands to lesbians--

just thought i'd drop my 2 cents in.

betti

Posted by: Betti Mustang at April 2, 2006 12:27 PM

Leave a comment