The Rare Pushy Broad
Emma Duncan in the Telegraph ponders the question why women make less money:
So what is holding women back? Not just, I suspect, the need to breed. A study from the University of Chicago suggests another reason. The academics observed children running. When they ran alone, boys and girls clocked similar speeds. When they raced each other, the girls' speed hardly altered. But boys ran faster against a boy, and faster still against a girl. Girls, it seems, are too wimpy (or sensible) to compete as vigorously as boys.And why do women get paid less than men for the same work? The answer may lie in a recent book, Women Don't Ask, by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. They noticed that male graduates from the Carnegie Mellon University, where Ms Babcock works, were paid $4,000 - about 8 per cent - more than women graduates in their first job. Only 7 per cent of women, it turned out, had pushed for more money instead of accepting the salary offered; more than half of men, by contrast, had negotiated. On average, those who negotiated raised the offer by $4,053 - almost the exact difference in starting pay.
Women, the authors maintain, don't think it's nice to ask for things for themselves, and fear damaging relationships with their bosses if they do. Men, by contrast, think that asking for things for themselves is what it's all about.
I wonder, too, if women tend to have a problem with other women who are pushy (ie, aggressive) in business. I wonder if that's why my column isn't in more daily newspapers (the features department is notoriously estrogen-heavy, and I'm aggressive in selling my column to them), or if it has more to do with the content of my column, and the fact that too many daily paper editors seem to prefer docile readers to the engaged kind.
There's a certain breed of stuffy, middle-aged editor who's especially nasty to me, as if they're angry that I dare to sell my own work instead of sitting back meekly and letting them find their way to it. For example, once, at the annual features editors' conference, I tried to get an editor of this ilk that I ran into in the elevator to take my packet with her: "Want something interesting to read for the plane?" I pitched her eagerly. "No thanks," she sniffed, knowing full-well I meant my packet of columns. "I have a good novel." Beeeyatch!
Regarding why my column or my other writing doesn't run in the LA Times features section, a features editor at the paper previously told me (and I'm quoting from the letter she sent from memory, because I can't find the actual document at the moment): "Never send us anything ever again. We're content with the writers we have. We're not seeking any new writers." Well, maybe you're not, but I think your readers certainly are!
Not to make any assumptions regarding your target demographic, (although I've had my suspicions about your ex neo-con Nanny following) but it seems like a social injustice that you dont have a larger following on college campuses. I recall reading your column in a campus paper outside of East Lansing, though Ann Arbor appears to be dry in the Amy Alkon department, which is really a damn shame considering how tired I get of redirecting people to your site if I hear anything even slightly resembling "but...why doesn't she love me?" or "It was my thighs, wasnt it?" I just can't be the kid to break the bad news and then send them to a blog. Its almost too trendy. Besides, we're right by detroit, so usually someones thighs are to blame anyway.
Jake at February 7, 2006 5:15 PM
I went to school there, actually. I'm sending out packets to newspapers...just tell me which one to pitch. I run in East Lansing in Lansing City Pulse.
Amy Alkon at February 7, 2006 7:43 PM
you made it in the stars and stripes.
you can't be doing that bad.
i only read the advice columns because they were like a car wreck, and i couldn't help myself.
your column is like a concerned motorist pulling over, helping them out of the wreckage, then accosting them for driving while talking on a cellphone and doing their nails.
g*mart at February 7, 2006 7:50 PM
I can't even tell you how thrilled I was to get in the Stars & Stripes. I get the greatest letters from soldiers. I've asked a few to let me post their letters on my blog (not requests for advice, but stories of what goes on there) but all have declined.
PS Love the imagery, GMart.
Amy Alkon at February 7, 2006 9:55 PM
I think there's some truth to the assertion that many women have difficulty being aggressive on their own behalf. I've known many who are amazingly aggressive when it comes to some external project or cause on behalf of others, but who cannot advocate on behalf of themselves, even to the point of quietly acquiesing when direct action would be more appropriate. Sometimes, it's like looking at two different women in the same body.
Also, I don't think the editors are the only group that has a problem with engaged readers (or consumers).
Too many of the 'providers' want nothing more than meek receptacles into which they can pour their minimum daily requirement of 'what we think is best for you'.
What kept me coming back to your columns (once I read a few) was the interesting way you expressed yourself, and the aggressive (yes, that word :o)) way you told people that it was necessary to quit blaming everyone else and take responsibility for their own lives. Even when I don't agree with you, you still give me something to think about, and that alone is worth my time here.
I'm also guessing that you don't have a problem being aggressive for your own benefit :o)
Dale at February 7, 2006 11:07 PM
Thanks, Dale. And you're right! No, I don't have a problem being aggressive for my benefit - or for that of people I care about, or whose work I think is good. In fact, I kind of see it as my duty.
My column is syndicated because I syndicated it. All the syndicators I spoke to, when I was writing one column for the New York Daily News told me they wouldn't take me on because I'd never make any money. After I got myself in 70 papers, syndicators started coming to me.
Amy Alkon at February 8, 2006 2:55 AM
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