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Very Fuggin Funny
Fug Girl Heather reviews yet another fashion horror (photo at the link, boys and girls, I'm copyright-friendly):

It's very ... I feel like this outfit was made by someone who was pitching a Jennifer Lopez movie about a woman who works as a mechanic while she's studying to be a pilot, and late at night at the auto shop she fantasizes about being a stylish and adored air hero, twirling around in her cape and boots and jumpsuit while singing a song about flying the friendly skies (which she's always wanted to do ever since her mother, also a flight student, was tragically killed during her night job as an air traffic controller when she paused to scratch her nose with the orange stick and a pilot interpreted this wrongly and ran her over).

Don't miss The Breast Police, same site. Note to all of you who earn a living in "civilized" work environments, there are exposed nipples.

A note, in that section, from Heather to Brooke Shields (photo here):

Dear Brooke,

Thank you for wearing a bra. Thank you. But... do you not understand how bras and shirts work together?

BLACK bra, Brooke. BLACK. Not white. Not even off-white. Black. You can get a very comfortable one for under $40 at Victoria's Secret. Would you like me to take you there? Do you need me to put a black bra in your hand and explain to you what it is, and what its advantages are? And if I do that, can I trust you not to turn around and wear it under a white shirt?

I don't think I can, can I? Look, you might have to just call me. I can make you a bra chart. Because clearly, you're not going to get this on your own.

Relentless in my crusade to make sure Hollywood and The Bra can coexist in harmony,


Posted by aalkon at March 21, 2006 9:30 AM

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I love the fug girls. I get a great sense of satisfaction from taking the piss out of these celebrities and acknowledging that a lot of the time they look like, to borrow a term from the ladies, "refried ass." I make a fraction of what people featured on that site do, and most days I think I look much better.

Posted by: Sheila at March 21, 2006 5:24 AM

I actually take great pride in going out in outfits that cost about $50, not including the shoes. My favorite jacket is one I got for $5 at a thrift store in Santa Monica. A close second is the one I got for $6 at the Salvation Army in Silverlake. If people I like ask me about my outfit, I tend to most tackily brag about the price -- how little it cost, that is. If people I don't like ask me where I got it, there's a tendency to sneer..."Paris!"

See how little money it can cost to be pretentious?!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 21, 2006 5:37 AM

I normally enjoy the Fug girls too, but they should lay off Brooke. For her takedown of Scientology-bot Tom Cruise, I think she should get at least three free fashion passes, and maybe a lifetime of them.

And I'll even let her off the hook with this one -- it's entirely possible that in normal light this outfit looked fine, but when the hot kliegs of the red carpet hit it, oops. Didn't John Kerry's daughter get caught by this one? The dress that turned transparent in flashbulbs?

And don't say this is Brooke's job, to look perfect in every situation. She's a mom with a career, a kid and another on the way. So she spaced on her underwear this once, big deal. I enjoyed the days when women thought about more than fashion and actresses dressed themselves -- at least then we had Cher's outfits to look forward to.

Posted by: Nance at March 21, 2006 2:03 PM

Where have I been? I fuggin love this site! Hours of evil reading pleasure ahead of me....

"Saying Courtney Love is fuggin' fugly is a bit like saying Steven Tyler's mouth is a little larger than average."

Posted by: Lena at March 22, 2006 5:17 AM

It's just a fabulous guilty pleasure.

And I don't think they were too mean to Brooke!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 22, 2006 6:55 AM

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