Avant Goddess
Avant Guide's interview of me is up. I think it was done last year, which is why I mentioned Terry Schiavo and a few other things in the news at the time. Here's an excerpt:
DL: What are your top 5 pet peeves?Amy Alkon: People who believe in god or in anything without proof. Especially people who try to make laws based on their irrational belief in god. Have your imaginary friends and a rich fantasy life if you want; just leave Terri Schiavo and me and my ovaries out of it.
"Lunar landing behavior," my name for what people shouting into cell phones in cafés, driving USS Nimitz-sized SUVs, and the like are practicing...as in, yoo-hoo, buttwad, unless you just came in for a lunar landing, chances are, you're on earth, where there are a lot of other people who are very f**ing disturbed by your behavior.
People who dress as if they just rolled out of a dumpster. Looks are important. Denying it is just silly. Epitomizing this silliness is feel-goodery like the "fat acceptance" movement. You can accept your fat all you want, but that doesn't mean anybody else is going to. Accept the truth and you might improve your lot in life - and avoid adult onset diabetes, to boot.
People who refuse to believe valid data because they don't like what it says. Political correctness. Anything that gets in the way of freedom of speech. I still can't believe Bill Maher's show, "Politically Incorrect," was canceled after Maher spoke his mind. Actually, I can. There's a real chill on free speech in America, and it terrifies me.
Prudery and the nonthink that goes along with it. The fact that daily newspapers refuse to allow use of words like "butt" or "sucks," and will only run pieces that rubberstamp the status quo view about drugs, relationships, etc, really bothers me. Most idiotically, they prefer docile readers to those who engage; who might even write a nasty letter or two to the newspaper. All the while, editors are obsessed with the prospect of luring "young people" (which they have no idea how to do - the fact that they call them "young people" says it all). They are stuffyassing their papers to the grave.
Likewise, there are ridiculous bans on "dirty words" and a flash of nipple or sexual activity on TV...but machete-ing off somebody's head is A-OK! I see a connection from the ridiculous sexual abstinence movement and bans on alcohol and drugs to binge behavior in kids. It's easier to tell your kids "Just say no" (i.e., "don't think") than to help them parse the differences in drug use and drug abuse - and they ARE different. I know a highly successful professor and inventor who comes home every night (after working 8am to about 8pm, plus weekends) and smokes a big joint. Why is this a bad thing? The government should have no say over what we put in our bodies; only say over whether we can drive afterward, etc, which might impact the health and welfare of others.
Although I believe in God, I agree with your first point. I believe in a God and live my life as though I believe in God. And living my life as though I believe in God would include NOT demanding that others subscribe to my beliefs. And not expecting laws to be made, or policy to be directed to accomodate my beliefs. Accomodating my beliefs is my job. Not the job of lawmakers.
Patrick at May 17, 2006 8:36 AM
"There's a real chill on free speech in America, and it terrifies me."
Puh-lease. You, yourself represent an antipoint to that. It is obvious that you have no fear whatsoever of expressing youself. Just as I do not.
Bill Mahr got canned because he said something beyond what the people paying him his salary deemed fit. Not the government. He is free to go and work elsewhere, saying exactly those same things. No abrigation of free speech there.
Looks, like cleanliness, are next to nothing. Many people I have known in my life literally lived under bridges or were hobos. Many of those were better humans than the so-so's I've met. No, most of them were.
The rest is a rough match.
Oligonicella at May 17, 2006 9:20 AM
You don't think broadcasters are running scared? Get your head out of the sand.
Amy Alkon at May 17, 2006 9:58 AM
So, Amy, one of your peeves is: "People who dress as if they just rolled out of a dumpster. Looks are important."
Why is it silly to deny this when there are no intelligent qualifiers to your statement?
I'm no great fan of the dumpster style, but I wouldn't be so daft as to state baldly "looks are important".
I require no sartorial dash from brilliant writers or scientists or artists. If I dislike a person, I hope I can get my priorities right by saying "AND they are disgustingly fat and wear ghastly clothes" only as a bitchy secondary complaint.
If all society's villains LOOKED like scruffy slobs, you would also be on firmer ground. Unfortunately, they don't.
Jody Tresidder at May 17, 2006 11:36 AM
Looks are very important, especially for women. And just for living well. There was a great post on this by Jackie Danicki, about buying fresh flowers. She quotes from an earlier post by Hillary Johnson on the same blog:
Getting back to your comment, of course, I don't think looks are ALL that's important. Then again, I have this bad habit of speaking and writing as if people have brains and don't need every iota of everything explained to the nth degree.
PS I was once upgraded to first class on a flight simply because I was wearing a fabulous hat. Didn't ask for an upgrade. Didn't expect it. Turns out the gate attendants were talking about me and decided to give me a gift. Don't think that happens to the slob in thrice-worns sweats, do you?
Amy Alkon at May 17, 2006 11:52 AM
"There's a real chill on free speech in America, and it terrifies me."
People keep saying that. Publicly.
Jim Treacher at May 17, 2006 12:02 PM
There's no pale green in that photograph. What have you done with Amy Alkon?
> surrounding oneself with beautiful sights, smells,
> tastes, sounds and above all, ideas, is not only the
> entire point of life, it's the only truly ethical
> way to live.
I realize that a sentiment this giddy probably came during a glass of white wine following a YoYo Ma concert , an elegant alfresco meal and a session of good sex during a holiday weekend on a corporate junket or something. But it still transparently conflates personal taste and excellence. It's just a bad way to think. I say your home seems naked without at least two well-tuned archtop guitars on stands in the corner; you think my blank walls are brutally inelegant.... BFD.
Crid at May 17, 2006 2:44 PM
That's funny, Crid, about the green. I'm actually often in hot pink.
And regarding beauty, for some, it's minimalism, for others, it's something a little more...busy. But, the point is, making the effort. Not living ugly. In form or in function.
Amy Alkon at May 17, 2006 2:53 PM
Amy, you're the only person I've ever seen who can wear pink and red at the same time and make it work. And on a redhead no less!
deja pseu at May 17, 2006 7:24 PM
Regarding the "fat acceptance" comment, I'm in complete agreement.
One point that is not made regarding obesity is not just the health hazards but the difficulty in treating people who are obese. I'm a massage therapist for a chiropractor's office. And when someone on my table is carrying so much surplus mass that I can't even SEE my table, it really makes me question the value of what I'm doing. How can I effectively relax the tense muscles when I can't even get to them? Is my ultrasound really penetrating so deeply that it can reach the muscles through several feet of whale blubber? And even if I could, how could those tense muscles possibly STAY relaxed when Madame Circus Fat Lady actually lifts her 400 pounds of adiposity (is that even a word) and carries it around with her? How can the Chiropractor even HOPE that his painstaking efforts to align this poor woman's abused spine are going to be of any benefit? She's already punishing her spine (and her knees, feet, etc.) just be being that way.
If I could send one message to every person who has ever gotten into a car accident (like 90% of my patients), it would be this: If you're obese, there's nothing I can do for you, apart from making you feel good while you're on my table. It's all done when you stand up! Whatever was done to your spine in your accident is now your lifelong companion. Or until you make some kind of concerted effort to get rid of the mass you just don't need.
And think about the other people in the medical industry who have to deal with you. Like the paramedics who have to load you onto a backboard. I'm sure they'd rather contend with a 175 lbs than 400. And the doctor who has to write a prescription for you based on your...weight. "You'll also have to stop by the vetrinarian's to pick up one of those tubes they use to give pills to horses."
Some of the obese need to stop making excuses for their condition, like "It's not my fault I'm so fat that my geographical location effects the tides. I have a glandular condition." Yeah, overactive salivary glands from stuffing too much garbage food in your mouth. It is not possible to gain more weight that you take in.
You want to know how to lose weight? Here it is. No fads, no brand names, no special foods.
Work out. Want to know the best exercise for losing fat? It's the one you'll do. Runner's may tout the benefits of running, but if you hate running (or can't run without threatening to slide California into the Pacific), it's not going to do you any good, now is it?
So, pick your poison. Aerobic dance, weight-lifting (my personal favorite), jogging, walking, running (soft surfaces are recommended), swimming (very good choice for arthritis sufferers and people with bad knees), or any combination thereof.
When do you work out? Best time is first thing in the morning, before you eat breakfast. Reason being is because unless you get up five times a night for a midnight snack (that you repeat until five in the morning), your blood sugar will be very low. As blood sugar is your body's immediate source of energy, and the reserves are limited first thing in the morning, you will turn to your body's secondary source: fat. You will burn three times the fat that you would at any other time. If you can't do this, then try just before dinner.
First meal of the day? Fruit. (Adherants of Atkins and South Beach are blinking stupidly at this statement. Yes, my brainwashed friends. Believe it or not, fruit is GOOD for you. Say it with me, slowly: "Fruit is GOOOOOOOOOD for you.")And I mean whole fruits. Not the juiced variety. Orange juice effects your blood sugar as much as Coca-Cola.
Good snack food? Nuts. Especially raw. Healthy fat in nuts. (Now this is where the low-fat dieters are picking their lower jaws off the floor.)
Eating tips: Stay away from the processed. Basically, processed means anything that has ingredients that a normal person can't pronounce. Breads? Whole grain varieties. At least three grams of fiber per slice. Five ingredients or less.
Snacking? Fine. But the eating tips apply. (I'd like the throttle the person who first thought that M&Ms would be good in my trail mix. I like my trail mix with nuts and dried fruit. Who the hell has ever seen an M&M tree?)
Try to minimize the use of canned products.
Something to drink? Get used to water! If you don't like the taste, try some lemon in it. Another good drink is tomato juice or V8. Still has the fiber and very few calories.
NO DIET SODAS! You don't need the cravings stirred by artificial sweetners, or whatever other chemistry experiment has gone awry in those things.
Maybe I should have my own blog.
Patrick at May 18, 2006 3:28 PM
Amy, by the way, that is a fabulous picture of you.
Addendum: Processed foods and preservatives are to be avoided.
Patrick at May 18, 2006 3:49 PM
Thank you Deja and Patrick!
Amy Alkon at May 19, 2006 7:30 AM
amy, i've had so much respect for you over the years until the fat thing. being a fatty myself i know that looks are important, i also know that if i am happy with being who i am other people's opinions don't matter much.
being that as it is, why do you think that all fatties want to change? more importantly, why be so rude as to call out to fatties as if there is something wrong with them? sure, many fatties do want to change, and you and the others are right, if you just eat a bit better and move around a bit more, that's all you have to do to lose weight in a healthy way. but some of us like being fat and it is pretty rude to be rude to us for it.
creamy at May 20, 2006 3:48 PM
That's my opinion, and I frequently offend people for stating it. This week, there's a guy with a picture of himself in a buttthong on yahoo who's mad as three wet hens for my column saying women tend to be horrified by men in thongs and think they're gay.
It's unhealthy to be obese, and furthermore, it cuts down on your options in life, especially if you're a woman, since our evolutionary adaptations cause us to value women's looks and men's status as providers.
People in America are not just fat, they're ENORMOUS. They eat huge portions of terrible crap and they don't move. Much of America is extremely unhealthy.
Two great books on how to eat: The Fat Fallacy by Will Clower, and Diets Don't Work by Bob Schwartz. Both on my book links page.
If I worried about not offending people, by the way, I'd never write another word. As my friend Cathy Seipp says (and I'll paraphrase) about making value judgments: I have values, therefore, I make judgments.
Amy Alkon at May 20, 2006 9:53 PM
interesting reasoning, indeed, seriously - not to be snarky - that you think that people should be free and live their lives and all that but then talk about societal opinions and views and the like.
intriguing.
cream at May 21, 2006 6:47 PM
It's honest. If you're fat, you're going to have fewer opportunities in life, especially if you're a woman. You're also going to have health risks; for example, one I read this morning on increased breast cancer risk.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12915038/
Your complaint reminds me of the guys who wrote this week to complain that I said men shouldn't wear thongs if they want girlfriends because women don't like thongs. "Tell people to wear whatever makes them happy!" they e-mail me. Um, I tell them what they have to do to get a girlfriend instead of spending the rest of their Saturday nights home wanking off. If they'd rather wear thongs and do the latter, fine by me!
Also, there's a difference between condemning religious idiocy, such as belief, without evidence, in god, which causes all sorts of damage to the rest of us, and telling people they do themselves a disservice by being overweight, for which there's plenty of evidence -- and by accepting the bullshit that it's a good thing to just "accept" it. Read David Buss' Evolution of Desire, for example, linked on my book picks page.
I have flaws, but I don't bullshit myself about them. I actually frequently look at my life to identify if I've been an asshole, so I can try to be a little less rectumlike in the future.
Amy Alkon at May 22, 2006 8:28 AM
Like the Peeve's, but I thought I saw a video of you saying that people shouldn't be allowed to discuss if the president should be killed. In that video it was the guy debating you defending freedom of speech. What's up with that.
Dan at November 26, 2009 8:41 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2006/05/avant-goddess-1.html#comment-1679180">comment from DanFree speech isn't absolute. I'm all for discussing how the president should be impeached, not voted for, how the president is an idiot, or whatever. You can't yell fire in a crowded theater and "discussions" of whether the president should be killed are probably veiled incitements to do so. And I think this whether the president is one I approve of or not (and I didn't approve of Bush and I don't approve of Obama).
Amy Alkon at November 26, 2009 8:49 AM
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