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Britney Goes To The Gynecologist's Office
And Bazaar is there to photograph it for their cover!

BritGetsGyny.jpg

While I'm all for baby and boobie the way they did it on Babytalk's cover, this one I'll have to tape a white piece of paper over. Sorry, are we supposed to find this sexy? It's not outrageous, since Demi Moore broke the knocked-up cover girl barrier years ago.

Demi.jpg

And, FYI, Bazaar, if you're going to advertise "Fall's Best New Ideas Inside," it might be a little more believable if you didn't have this decade's worst example of bad taste on the cover.

P.S. And thank you in advance for the concern, but no, I don't live in the small metal canister at 171 Pier Ave. where I get my mail.

Posted by aalkon at July 30, 2006 11:42 AM

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Comments

Wow....I just can't get over how unbelievably bad that hair color is. I mean, there aren't any highlights, her eyebrows don't match....it looks like she did it herself in a gas station bathroom (which I would believe, incidentally). Britney Spears didn't really register on my radar until after she popped out Tater Tot. Now I feel much better about myself after seeing photos of how dumpy and unkept she's become. I guess it beats the ratted, fluorescent greenish-blond extensions she was sporting on that Lauer interview. Eeesh.

Posted by: amh18057 at July 30, 2006 5:56 AM

I'm probably going to consign myself to old-fartitude here, but I just don't get the fascination with the young-and-trashy set. Brittney, LiLo, Paris Hilton, the ongoing Jessica-and-Nick saga...I mean it's not like any of these people are unbelievably beautiful or deeply talented, they just seem like celebrity ho's to me. Is it just that we're now in the Reality TV era, where we worship at the shrine of human train wrecks?

Now all you kids, get offa my lawn!

Posted by: deja pseu at July 30, 2006 6:57 AM

> we worship at the shrine of
> human train wrecks?

Average people can relate.

It works in pop music, too. Years ago there was a top-ten number, I think it was "Long Cool Woman" or something, and it was actually the first song the guitar player had ever written, practiced or even played on the instrument. People want to think "I coulda done that."

Genuine talent (having a gift from Heaven and working like a dog every goddamn day) is unattractive to average people who want to relax. This is why American Idol has emo singers instead of instrumentalists... There are a hundred heartbreakingly talented high school jazz and classical players in each state of the union. But people are just getting used to idea that some of us look better than the rest of us will ever look. We don't like knowing that some can *do* things the rest of us could never dream of, too.

See also the Nancy Etcoff book 'Survival of the Prettiest'. Adjusted for youth and fertility, beauty clusters around an average of every face we see. And the garlic in the recipe is from Francis Bacon: “There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.”

Posted by: Crid at July 30, 2006 10:13 AM

I dunno- she looks pretty good to me......

Posted by: eric at July 30, 2006 12:41 PM

Eric, you've gotta get out of your trailer a little more often!

I like that Etcoff book.

And I just saw a really interesting doc on jazz last night. It was on PBS, but I think it was a BBC production. They interviewed Clapton and loads of others who'd worked their way up playing for black American blues singers who came to England. I was thinking about how so many today don't just want things to be easy but expect them to be easy. I get a few letters a week from teens who want to be advice columnists, and think they're the next thing. Oh, you mean you're supposed to actually KNOW something before you advise people?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 30, 2006 1:12 PM

Brunette? She just doesn't do it justice.

Posted by: Claudia at July 30, 2006 6:50 PM

> Genuine talent is unattractive to average people
> who want to relax.

Does that picture relax you? Not me. It's not about talent, or beauty -- of which I personally think the model has none. It's just plain and boring trailer trash -- and it's depressingly stressful to look at.

I'll side with deja on this one [maybe I'm an old fart too?]

Posted by: LA Frog at July 30, 2006 7:58 PM

OK, but Cher was on magazine covers for thirty years after she was fun to look at. Britney's just getting underway here...

Posted by: Crid at July 30, 2006 8:19 PM

I resent the term "trailer trash" as a form of codescension. Some of my best friends live in trailers, and some of those trailers are a whole lot nicer than my L.A. apartment.

Besides, I'd totally hit that.

Posted by: LYT at July 30, 2006 10:27 PM

I agree with Frog that it's boring. I don't see the point of it. It's not like it's a maternity issue. Besides, it looks like she's sitting on the toilet. Not appealing at all.

Posted by: Kimberly at July 31, 2006 12:53 AM

LYT, you're right: it's condenscension -- for the stereotype though, not the actual people. Spears is a stereotype [like there are stereotypes for white trash, wasp, fundanut, liberal, neocon, gangsta...you name it].

And some trailers are indeed much nicer and more comfortable than the average LA apartment. BTW, did you see those trailers that sell for over 1 million in Malibu? Wild.

Posted by: LA Frog at July 31, 2006 6:34 AM

She looks like she has fossils stuck to her neck.

Posted by: That Julia at July 31, 2006 7:15 AM

I have never understood why people ask why there are celebrities. It's because we all need someone to talk about.

Now: think about your favorite news outlet, realize how stupid they sound whenever they talk about a subject you really know, and then, smack yourself for thinking you know anything significant about Britney Spears or anyone else you've only heard about via mass media.

I don't know her. I don't know Amy, either. I would be foolish to think magazines could tell me about either of them. Now, if Ms. Federline shows up and discusses the issues, I'll be impressed - but the showiest celebrity is just another average person in most ways. There is outrage that they aren't more perfect, but whose blame is that?

Posted by: Radwaste at July 31, 2006 5:30 PM

.....That cover is possibly the only cool thing Britney has done. I'm figuring, based on audio clues, that her vocals are entirely touched up by Pro Tools, and she can't carry a tune in a bucket. But still, getting photographed pregnant is great. Even with the weird hair.

Posted by: Acid Reign at August 1, 2006 4:02 PM

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