You don't like flip-flops? What about actual sandals?

My question is, if a woman is allowed to breast-feed her child anywhere, why is it an obligation on the part of Victoria's Secret to provide a dressing room for that purpose? Dressing rooms are for trying on clothes. So, if a woman comes to our Chiropracter's office, am I obligated to give up my massage room so she can breast feed her kid? I don't think so. My massage room is for giving massages, and my patients and I aren't going to be waiting outside for someone to finish nursing her kid.

That's why I always offer to massage women who are breastfeeding...

LAObserved has a good story on flip-flops this week: http://tinyurl.com/r2mz4. I personally love flip-flops, despite being a high-heeled Parisian. Like with breast-feeding, it depends on personal attitude and elegance. I find some breast-feeding women quite gracious, others point blank gross. Ergo with flip flops.

Let's shuck right down to the cob. Does the need of a mother to nourish her child supercede the erotic impact of an exposed breast in public? Metaphysical answer: Of course. Real life/Karmic answer: Don't take unnecessary risks.

American women who play games at this verge are trying to prove things to people, things about how the natural world is a supreme consideration, or about how the needs of their children supercede other social codes. In either case, it's feminine vaunting. The rest of us shouldn't be held responsible for outcomes of these dares. People in the States have strong (and maybe weird) ideas about tits. But that's one of the blessings that comes from living here!

I think it's the core question of feminine nature: Whose feelings are you concerned about? Answer carefully.

Going with Crid's mention of the practical matter of titillation caused by breastfeeding (I'm shameless when it comes to puns...) From personal experience (on third kid I'm breastfeeding), breasts aren't particularly sexy when being used for feeding purposes -- unless you're so into elongated nipples, stretch marks, mismatched sizes, etc. It sure doesn't feel sexy to me. But I guess some people's reaction is that "Boobies!" supercedes all else, no matter how unappealing the pair on display. I guess that's similar to the "reasoning" of plastering JUICY on velour stretch pants stretching well past their recommended elongation.

That said, WTF? Dressing rooms are for dressing in -- the point Patrick made. Would a bottle-feeding mother expect her child to be accomodated with a dressing room? Would she even be allowed to sit on the floor to give a bottle to her baby? Most malls have benches or other seating areas for that purpose -- heck most malls have a food court, which is the perfect place to sit down and feed the kid (and yourself at the same time). Some people must think the world is their living room.

Exactly. You could say "look away if it bothers you" about anything.

I don't find breastfeeding erotic, and I'm not a girl who's squeamish about finding other girls attractive. (I'm not a lesbian, but I've had a crush on Sharon Stone for years -- having more to do with what I perceive as her personality combined with her looks than her looks alone).

And I find flipflops to be unacceptable public footgear. I'm so tired of having nobody to look at (in terms of how they dress). So few people in LA even look interesting. Yesterday, I went out to write and put on a simple long, slim black black dress (bought for $17 on sale) and a $3 e-bay choker and a pair of kitten-heel pumps. It took less time to throw on than ugly sweatpants, but I got about 15 compliments, no exaggeration, including one from a guy who said "You look like you stepped out of Vogue." Perhaps I did. Or perhaps it's just that everybody else, male and female, looks like they stepped out of Popular Plumbing.

I nursed my kid for a year, and did it all over hell'n'gone, and the only people who knew what I was doing were a) my kid; b) my husband, sometimes; and c) anyone who can read the code of "woman carrying infant in b'feeding position, only with a blanket over her shoulder, covering the kid's head." I never needed anything other than a place to sit, and then only sometimes. Victoria's (overpriced, crummy-quality) Secrets are, overwhelmingly, located in malls. Malls have benches galore, frequently right outside the store.

I don't wear flip-flops for anything other than washing the car. Are Teva sandals OK? Because they're, like, welded to my feet this summer.

I haven't done any nursing in public... yet. In fact, I'm at seventeen weeks gestating my first child.

But I do not think that nursing in public is a good idea... at least not for me. If I need to nurse my child in a public place, there are two alternatives: 1. have bottle with breast-pumped milk ready to go and 2. if no such bottle is available, go to the most discreet place I could find and nurse the child there, as long as I can keep it private.

The key word here is PRIVATE.

Breast-feeding is a time for bonding with your child. It doesn't need to be interrupted by the excessive noise of a mall crowd or some other place where lots of people are congregated. There are blankets and other covers that can be used for the same thing, plus shirts that can give coverage. Thus, no people will know or even see what the heck is going on between you and your child.

I would like to keep it as quiet as I can, at least when my time comes.

Plus, why did that woman have to raise that stink at Victoria's Secret? That was totally uneccesary. Besides, maybe a nursing mom near the store or even inside should be a reminder to all of we gals who buy their sexy lingerie there that ... ahem... one thing leads to another... ahem...

Newt, I like the way you think!

I maintain that American mall-shopping women who get into conflicts like this are trying to prove to people that tits are --in some precious, final analysis-- hanging off of their chests for a practical purpose.

Eroticism has no such illusions. Especially here in the Good Ol' USA, the Best Goddamn Nation this planet has ever seen. This is a great holiday, ain't it?

Whenever I see a woman breast feeding, I am tempted to smile and say "There is a free lunch!" But I have neve had the guts to do so.

What's wrong with flip-flops? A well turned ankle used to be quite sexy.

"Are Teva sandals OK?" Only if you are on a canoe trip in Vermont, or a college kid at U. Mass. Amherst.

"What's wrong with flip-flops?"
Nobody wants to look at your ugly-assed heel callus or your boney finger-toes. Especially not when I'm eating.

Thanks for teaching me a new word, Amy: kitten-heel pumps. Prrrr.
www.instyle.com/instyle/products/details/0,23728,1092130,00.html?p=1095457_1095479

You're most welcome, Hasan.

When you analyze it fully, what really bothers most Americans is not the sight of a breast, but the nipple. Think about how many commercials, TV shows, etc. you see every day that show scantily clad women, whose breasts are 95% exposed. All that is covered is the nipple. Now imagine an ad that showed a woman whose breasts were 95% COVERED, but fully exposed the nipples. See? That's what people object to, and I think it's silly. Now, as for breastfeeding in Victoria's Secret, here's a simple solution: Post a sign that says, "NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK."

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Hi Amy,

I am from Brazil and, although I really appreciate the US and most of its culture, I think that this crazy notion that breastfeeding in public is offensive or whatever is really something that you should get rid of. Down here I have never, ever, read or listen to anything like this. Basically to breastfeed in public or not is something that is left to the mother to decide and everybody around just try to look the other way to not make her feel embarrassed. And if someone would say something nasty because a bit of the breast was seen, anyone around, man or woman, would reply immediately with well deserved scorn. If the comment came from a man, he would be lucky to not get punched. On the other hand, no mother would feel the need to act like this woman.

As for flip-flops, Amy, please accept my apologies for the Brazilian part in exporting this crap for the world.