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Weenie Buys Up All The Amy Alkon Domain Names
His name's Forrest MacGregor (photo at the link), and he's the uncle of the kid who thought he'd have success using vitamin paste for treatment for cancer. Unca Forrest didn't like the way meanie Amy wrote about this ("Stupidity Can Be Fatal") so he retaliated like so:

That's why I now own, .biz, .info, .org, nd .us.

The above was from a comment on the original Abraham Cherrix entry. This is from an e-mail he sent me:

In a message dated 7/27/06 5:23:38 AM, writes:

And be sure to visit once it's up and running.

I'm not surprised that he'd be so lacking integrity (and brains) that he'd try to steal my name and use it.

I sent him this in an e-mail:

The Emerging Law of Personality Rights

145. The personality right, also known as the "right of publicity" in certain jurisdictions, has been defined as "the inherent right of every human being to control the commercial use of his or her identity." 93 According to the modern view, the legal right is said to be infringed by an unauthorized use of a person’s identity which is likely to damage the commercial value of the identity and which is not immunized by principles of free speech or free press. 94 The legal right reflects a view that human identity, in certain instances, constitutes an intellectual property right with measurable commercial value. One needs only to consider, for example, a certain young golfer who has emerged to dominate the professional golf tour in recent years to understand the potential value that can be assigned to one’s personal identity by the forces of supply and demand in the marketplace.

He might read the story about my stolen car. Do I really seem like a good person to fuck with? Hmmm, real genius there, Forrest. Forrest, so I'm a big meanie. Don't you have a life or anything? Don't you have anything better to do?

UPDATE: **Here's a very intelligent recap of the case by Respectful Insolence.

Posted by aalkon at July 27, 2006 9:27 AM

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And this is intelligent discourse? I believe that the name calling started at your end, but do please correct me.

All you really have to do, Amy, is admit your a little too pointed and perhaps live up to your lofty words:

If people really just wanted a framework to be good, all they'd need to do is live by the tenets of the religion I've created (and feel free to call it Amyism):

1. Be kind
2. Be ethical
3. Be rational
4. Live as if a piano could fall on your head at any moment, but with the realization that you'll probably make it to tomorrow sans piano keys decorating your skull.
5. Leave the campground better than you found it.

( From your 6/10/03 column on the topic:
We're The Chosen People And You Suck!)

We can all see #1 was a lie. My take is that #2 is beyond your reach. This little whine pretty much settles #3. We can only hope for #4.

And I DON'T much run from conflict. Have you lawyer give me a call, Sweetie. So far, I haven't done anything but put your panties in a wad. Uncomfortable?

Yes, I actually do have better things to do. Cranking up your adrenal glands is pretty rewarding, though, in its own way.

By the way, don't YOU have better things to do then pass out parental advice?

Maybe you should get a new line of work.


On Thu, 27 Jul 2006 12:22:31 -0400, wrote:

In a message dated 7/27/06 5:23:38 AM, writes:

And be sure to visit once it's up and running.

Read on, assclown. And, so what if I'm a big meanie, and I think it's moronic
to use unproven treatments to "cure" cancer? Are you a grown man or a huffy
eighth-grader? Doesn't that kid need you? Or is it more important to you to
pick playground fights? Use my name as a domain, and I will come after you. What
a piece of trash you are. I'm not surprised you'd try to steal my name and use
it. Pig.

Posted by: Forrest MacGregor at July 27, 2006 10:02 AM

Forrest, you can buy a strap-on here:

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 27, 2006 10:07 AM

This happened to Seipp too with the Troll Dolls guy... But at least he had the good sense not publish his name. Anyway she never bothered to pursue it, but I'm sure she had a case.

Listen, I'm a bitter, anti-social blog-visitor; This guy's a freak-a-boo wackjob with Oak Leaf Cluster.

Posted by: Crid at July 27, 2006 11:23 AM

Listen, I'm a bitter, anti-social blog-visitor

And I love you for that, Crid!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 27, 2006 11:55 AM

Ummm....isn't there something called "Freedom Of Speech" somewhere? If Mr. MacGregor doesn't like the "big meanie", then don't read the blog or the columm....'nuff said.

Posted by: Rob at July 27, 2006 12:42 PM

Also....shouldn't a Development Director know proper grammer? Or is that not required to grow trees? i believe "your" should be "you're".

Posted by: Rob at July 27, 2006 12:56 PM

Um, Forrest, ever heard of "be cruel to be kind." Sure, Amy *could* be all sweetness and light, and say that it's perfectly rational and reasonable for a teenager to beleive that it's somehow better to die after taking useless herbs than to suffer the side effects of chemotherapy that just might save him - but I don't think that would be true kindness. Waking him up to his own false reasoning (assuming that were possible) or waking others up to the same illogic - that's a true public service.

Posted by: jenl1625 at July 27, 2006 1:46 PM

Thanks, Jen, for explaining that. It was just getting too tiresome to respond to all these mini-outbursts of his.

The people we should all be worried about aren't people like me, who are honest about what they think is shit and what's not, but the "group hug" "I love you/I love everyone" types -- the most hostile people I ever encounter.

I don't hate anyone, but I sure dislike a lot of people, and find a lot of people butt-dumb. I consider saying so a public service. If anybody doesn't like it, they can go read Dear Abby and the rest of the saps out there.

PS I consider it true friendship for a person to let a friend know when they're being a counterproductive asshole. People I consider my good friends I think feel pretty free to let me know. When somebody whose opinion I value tells me I've been a jerk, I think about it and maybe even agree if I think they're right.

Of course, I run interference on my own jerkhood pretty often, which is the best way to progress in life -- instead of staying the same old jerk you've always been, only increasingly impacted.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 27, 2006 2:24 PM

Amy Alkon asking anyone the question "Don't you have anything better to do?" is pure comedic gold. Amy, darling, you're a psycho. You spend your time righting imaginary wrongs, fighting tooth and nail against anyone who messes up your day. You're the last person who should be giving "get a life" advice to anyone. You're every guy's worst nightmare, a psycho-bitch with an axe to grind against the entire world. I pity anyone unlucky enough to run into you.

You're a mental patient. Do they make pink straightjackets?

Posted by: Matt at July 27, 2006 3:20 PM

With chartreuse piping, babe.

Alkon fights for our sins. The best definition of "control freak" I ever heard was "someone who cares more than you do." (I'm still trying to figure out how to except the Scientologists.) All the people I admire most are bright and pugilistic... Zappa, Paglia, selected family members etc. Being smart and decent and right and so forth isn't enough. You have to fight; that's how the planet works.

Posted by: Crid at July 27, 2006 3:48 PM

Thanks, Crid. The way I see it, exactly.

PS, Matt, which wrongs I rail against are imaginary?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 27, 2006 4:09 PM

I wonder if the person having acquired those domain names will renew them when they're about to expire. :D

You do have options.'s up to you whether it's worth the time, money and effort or not.

Posted by: Dave Zan at July 27, 2006 9:48 PM

I'm actually protected in a number of ways, through "right of publicity," and because I'm a trademark holder.

right of publicity: an overview

The Right of Publicity prevents the unauthorized commercial use of an individual's name, likeness, or other recognizable aspects of one's persona. It gives an individual the exclusive right to license the use of their identity for commercial promotion.

In the United States, the Right of Publicity is largely protected by state common or statutory law. Only about half the states have distinctly recognized a Right of Publicity. Of these, many do not recognize a right by that name but protect it as part of the Right of Privacy. The Restatement Second of Torts recognizes four types of invasions of privacy: intrusion, appropriation of name or likeness,unreasonable publicity and false light. See Restatement (Second) Of Torts §§ 652A - 652I. Under the Restatement's formulation, the invasion of the Right of Publicity is most similar to the unauthorized appropriation of one's name orlikeness. See Restatement (Second) of Torts § 652C (, comments a & b, illustrations 1 & 2.

In other states the Right of Publicity is protected through the law of unfair competition. Actions for the tort of misappropriation or for a wrongful attempt to "pass off" the product as endorsed or produced by the individual help to protect the right of publicity. See Unfair competition (

If a person can establish an aspect of his or her identity as a trademark, protection may be provided by Federal law. See Trademark (

The Federal Lanham Act can also provide protection where a person's identity is used to falsely advertise a product or designateits origin. See § 1125 of The Lanham Act.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 27, 2006 10:14 PM

Troll Dolls' real name is Eliot Stein and he lives in Burbank. I have his address and ph # somewhere in my files, but I think it's better just to ignore these cranks. Also, unlike him, I have other things to do.

What is kind of disturbing, though, is that he's licensed to teach through 2007. So for all we know, he may even have another job that gives him access to children, although he does seem to have a lot of time on his hands, so maybe not. Last time I checked he'd been updating the site with info he gleand from obsessively reading Maia's blog. (Her car accident, acceptance to UC San Diego, etc.)

Maia found out (throught the useful Google Groups) he also used to work on some kind of radio show in Oregon and bought the domain name of his former boss, Roy Masters. Weird.

Posted by: Cathy Seipp at July 28, 2006 1:36 AM

That's just horrible that he's still licensed to teach. He isn't teaching, is he? This is something the board of ed should know.

Also, you may not want to pursue him legally, but from what I learned in a past incident of my own, what he's doing is illegal under the Lanham Act -- and the other laws above. My lawyer told me I have "Right of Publicity" of my own name and image. People can criticize what you do, of course, and I totally support that under the First Amendment, but they can't take your name and do it the way this guy did to you.

Furthermore, as a teacher, what the guy is doing to you is especially perverse and horrible. The Board of Ed should know about this. This person has no business being around kids -- or maybe any people.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at July 28, 2006 7:58 AM

> bought the domain name of
> his former boss, Roy Masters.
> Weird.

That is a weird move. It has a Daffy Duck feel to it. "Haffing cleverly thurcumvented the thithtem, I will now control peopleth pertheptions of my victim."

Posted by: Crid at July 28, 2006 10:03 AM

Is this the same guy who wrote in about being ugly, but having a big unit?

Forrest, baby, go back to the school and tell them you were cheated of an education. Get your money back, because the bulk of your ranting about having degrees, therefore you are right, is the tired old "appeal to authority" fallacy you should have learned about in high school.

Educated people are often wrong, especially outside their field of expertise, which gives them a false sense of confidence in their own judgment.

Which, I expect, you're about to find out.

Posted by: Radwaste at August 1, 2006 2:41 AM

Wow, I do not know which one of you is worse. Amy, fess up you have contributed as much to this as anyone else.

Also it seems you use other names to defend yourself, it is very transparent you know.

Posted by: RealityCheck at March 28, 2007 8:42 AM

Fess up?

Hey, weirdo -- check out my blog -- Rad, Crid, and all the rest are regular commenters. Rad works in the nuclear waste disposal industry. Crid is Mark Cridland, a video editor in Los Angeles. As for the rest, google them, asswad. They exist.

I'm a bit busy to "be" all these people. And frankly, I don't care -- what I do care about is a violation of my right to publicity under the Lanham Act, and cyber squatting on my name.

Furthermore, I have a strong sense of ethics, and I decided a while back to never post comments except under my own full name. What's your full name? Why can't you reveal your identity, weeniepants?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 28, 2007 8:53 AM

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