Advice Goddess Blog
« Previous | Home | Next »

Check Out The Rhyming Flame-War
Again, it's about exposed mommy-titties. Via Consumerist, another flap about public breastfeeding, and the hilarious comments that ensued. A doulah (midwife) started it with this Seuss-propriation:

Would you nurse her at the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse her in the park.
I would nurse him in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk til dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her til she's full.

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy's milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have a perfect explanation.
Mommy milk is tailor made
It's perfect food, you need no aid.

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food.

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would never be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk's the perfect food!

We make the right amount we need,
The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I'll meet her needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads, leave me be ma'am
I will nurse her, MOM I am.

Posted by aalkon at September 20, 2006 7:03 AM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.advicegoddess.com/mt4/mt-tb.cgi/1688

Comments

First of all...what the fuck is a boppy? Another mommy-moomoo made up word, I suppose.
Secondly, if someone were to start reciting this to me, I would punch them in the fucking jaw.
Thirdly...I still don't understand the "controversy" over breastfeeding. It's breastfeeding. So what? America seems to be the land of hang-ups, not opportunity.

Posted by: amh18057 at September 21, 2006 12:32 PM

Just one word: Sugartits.

I love that word.

Posted by: Hasan at September 22, 2006 7:56 AM

Awww. You remembered!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at September 22, 2006 8:22 AM

"It is so hard to forget what it is worse than useless to remember!" -H. Thoreau

"Adieu, adieu, adieu! remember me."
-W. Shakespeare

"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." -Fran Lebowitz

"Don't accept rides from strange men,
and remember that all men are as strange as hell." -Robin Morgan

"It's because we were raised by women." -Hasan

Posted by: Hasan at September 22, 2006 11:08 AM

Leave a comment