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Nair Miss
A short question from my Advice Goddess column:

Can you have true intimacy with your partner without showing all? My friend thinks her marriage is better than mine because she’s “able” to let her husband in the bathroom when she’s, say, waxing her upper lip or bikini line. I say her marriage is just uglier, not necessarily closer.
--Private Side

Your husband isn’t going to love you more if he knows you have a mustache. I call this sort of thinking “Grossest Is Closest,” the mistaken idea that intimacy means leaving the bathroom door open so your partner can see you hunched over on the pot. People like your friend believe “real love” takes accepting how utterly ugly, smelly, hairy, and disgusting their partner is, and lusting after them anyway. Of course, they could just remove ugly, smelly, hairy, and disgusting from the equation, and lusting after them wouldn’t take so much work. If you love somebody, don’t you want to look and smell as nice as possible for them? There’s really no need to clue them in on how you get that way. If you’re 12 to a room in Kandahar, maybe you just can’t help it. If you’re two to a large split-level in suburbia, close the door.

Posted by aalkon at September 1, 2006 9:44 AM

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There's an old proverb dealing with the marital bathroom problem.

"If I see you sprinkle/While you tinkle/It means a golden shower/Within the hour."

Celtic, I think.

Posted by: Jody Tresidder at September 1, 2006 9:23 AM

It's good to keep a sense of mystery in your relationships. And I don't see what's sexy about showing how you poop or shave to your S.O. -- neither does he, so I keep the bathroom door closed.

Posted by: LA Frog at September 1, 2006 3:51 PM

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