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Why Celebrities Should Keep Their Yaps Shut
We only suspect, but can't really know, how butt dumb they are until they speak when the publicists must be on holiday. Take Madonna, for example, who's just proposed using Kabbalah water to eliminate nuclear waste. An excerpt from the Times of London article by Abul Taher:

The couple, both followers of the Jewish spiritual movement, approached Downing Street, Whitehall and British Nuclear Fuels (BNFL) promoting a “mystical” liquid tested in a Ukrainian lake.

“It was like a crank call . . . the scientific mechanisms and principles were just bollocks, basically,” one official said.

But civil servants at the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) and scientists at BNFL were obliged to take the celebrity couple seriously.

It is understood that the couple, who live in London and Wiltshire, were promoting a water-based solution that had allegedly proved successful in neutralising dangerous nuclear waste in Ukraine.

The Kabbalah Centre, which is based in California, believes water is a uniquely important substance that can be given magic healing powers through “meditations and the consciousness of sharing”.

Madonna explains:

“I can write the greatest songs and make the most fabulous films and be a fashion icon and conquer the world, but if there isn’t a world to conquer, what’s the point?

Madonna, for future reference, a more productive alternative to "letting it all hang out" -- keeping it all bottled up inside.

Posted by aalkon at September 2, 2006 8:03 AM

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The goddess writes:

We only suspect, but can't really know, how butt dumb they are until they speak when the publicists must be on holiday.

One of my favorite quotes (attributed to Abraham Lincoln): "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak out and remove all doubt."

And Madonna has to say

I can write the greatest songs and make the most fabulous films...

HA! I'll see that bet, and raise her five.

(Just for future reference, block quotes don't require quotation marks, closed or otherwise.)

Posted by: Patrick at September 2, 2006 3:48 AM

Thanks for the tidbit about the block quotes, Patrick. I'm a little anal retentive when it comes to grammar and punctuation, but I'd forgotten about that lovely little rule. Personally, I think that nuclear waste would be neutralized if everyone would stop splitting infinitives.

Posted by: Lena at September 2, 2006 8:48 AM

"Bollocks" indeed. Another celeb gone wacko, I guess. Reminds me of the French expression "Le silence est d'or; la parole n'est que d'argent" [silence is gold; talk is only silver].

Posted by: LA Frog at September 2, 2006 1:06 PM

The French also say "Elle a manqué l'occasion de se taire" [She missed an opportunity to shut up].

Posted by: Stu "El Inglés" Harris at September 5, 2006 12:24 PM

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