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Our Favorite Bottom Feeder Crawls Out From Under Her Rock
A few years ago, I won a first-place award from LA Press Club for a series on my ad for a man in the LA Times (naturally, as I've been banned since 1999 from the LA Times' features sections for joking about my titties, it ran as a 10-part series in the New York Daily News). Anyway, Gloria Allred was the presenter. Typically, presenters give a talk for a minute or so about the winning piece or series. Not our Gloria! Gloria used her time to talk about, who else? Gloria! Which, in my estimation, is the real point of every case she takes; and, especially, getting her hard, ugly mug on the tube.

Now, not surprisingly, she's surfacing to demand cash from Michael Richards for the guys who met with his racist remarks. Just follow the bouncing video cameras through this FoxNews excerpt:

Two men who say they were the target of a racist rant by actor-comedian Michael Richards at a comedy club are seeking a personal apology and perhaps some money, said their lawyer Friday.

The men, Frank McBride and Kyle Doss, both of whom are black, said they were part of a group of about 20 people who had gathered at West Hollywood's Laugh Factory to celebrate a friend's birthday. According to their attorney, Gloria Allred, they were ordering drinks when Richards berated them for interrupting his act.

When one of the members of their group replied that Richards was not funny, the comedian launched into a string of obscenities and repeatedly used a derogatory term for African-Americans. A cell phone videocamera captured the outburst.

Richards, who played Jerry Seinfeld's wacky neighbor Kramer on the long-running TV comedy "Seinfeld," made a nationally televised apology on David Letterman's "Late Night" talk show earlier this week. He has since publicly apologized to two prominent civil rights leaders, the Rev. Jesse Jackson and the Rev. Al Sharpton.

But Allred complained Friday that he "has not apologized to his victims directly, face to face, man to man."

Richards' publicist said his client wants to apologize to both men, who are black, but has not been able to locate them.

Allred, speaking by telephone from Colorado, said Richards should meet McBride and Doss in front of a retired judge to "acknowledge his behavior and to apologize to them" and allow the judge to decide on monetary compensation.

"It's not enough to say 'I'm sorry,"' she said.

She did not mention a specific figure, but pitched the idea as a way for the comic to avoid a lawsuit.

"Our clients were vulnerable," Allred said. "He went after them. He singled them out and he taunted them, and he did it in a closed room where they were captive."

Oh, please. Ever been to a comedy club, Gloria? (Of course not, as it would be a waste of time and money, since you're clearly humorless.) Well, for the uninitiated, you sit in back if you're afraid to get shit from the comedians. Even then, anybody's a target, and for some pretty cutting stuff.

Posted by aalkon at November 25, 2006 11:28 AM

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Ain't life grand? If someone pisses me off (or even tries to), I should collect money from them. I'd never have to work again.

I could start with amh18057, my new friend from the "Barefoot And Pregnant, Here We Come" thread, since he/she/it called me "faggot." I'd have to take a look at my monthly expenses, of course, and figure out how much compensation a court would award me, and thereby go on the hunt for homophobes, with trusty cellphone camera in hand. What a life!

These hypersensitive (or feignedly-hypersensitive) assholes aren't entitled to a dime for their offense. Someone's pooah widdle feewings are apt to get hurt occassionally. It's called life and interaction with other lifeforms. We don't get paid for it. We deal with it, and learn to be a little less thin-skinned. (Although, I would think that comedy clubs aren't really the ideal venue for emasculated wimps who cry like Nancy Kerrigan over every wrong word.)

Just what the world needs: those who earn their living as professional bleeding hearts/drama queens. Michael Richards already apologized and has offered to apologize to the parties he attacked. That's quite enough.

Actually, Richards should be thankful, now that I think about it. The more these two idiots over-react, the more sympathy he's likely to gain from this.

Is Richards' ill, by the way? I've been looking at his recent pictures during this fiasco and this publicity photo on his Wikipedia entry. He actually seems semi-heartthrobbish on the Wikipedia. But in his recent stuff, he looks like he's lacking a heartbeat, like something out of Michael Jackson's "Thriller."

Posted by: Patrick at November 25, 2006 4:06 AM

some black bitch just slapped me upsie the head three times. I did not do anything to her.
I did not defend myself. My husband thinks I should have, but I did not understand her violence. I meant no ill toward her so I did not expect her to hit me nor did i expect to have to defend myself. I am angry and I hope I get the chance to meet her to tell her how much she hurt my feelings. now maybe I should want to kick the bitch's ass, but I don't really. I just hope she realizes hoe senseless her violence was and how she is encouraging violence between our two races. the black people feel subjugated but they bring it on themselves. I dare anyone to challenge me on this.

Posted by: Lisa at November 25, 2006 4:54 AM

But, Lisa, why is this racial? Why is she "some black bitch," and not just "some bitch"?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at November 25, 2006 5:37 AM

Yagman is Allred but even worse...

Posted by: Crid at November 25, 2006 9:51 AM

I love stand-up comedy, but you're right that it can be brutal, Amy. I've seen comedians point at couples who were obviously on a date and start talking about how they were going to go home and fuck after the show -- just really raw, in your face stuff. And the audience can bash back. Michael Richards is obviously not cut out for this kind of work. His outburst was stupid and unprofessional. Still, all of this is so completely un-newsworthy. To quote Snoop Dogg: "Niggas don't give a fuck, nigga." For real.

Posted by: Lena Leen at November 25, 2006 8:32 PM

Another blogger (John Rogers at Kung Fu Monkey) has a good concise post on how sketch comedy is miles away from standup, and how Richards is clueless at it. Back when Richards was on Fridays, he tried to do a little Andy Kaufman action, and it fell flat.
To me it seemed like Richards was simultaneously venting racist attitudes and trying to redo Dustin Hoffman's 'nigger/kike/etc" monolog from 'Lenny,' but kind of ran out of gas. Career over.

Posted by: Cat brother at November 26, 2006 7:31 AM

What is "sketch comedy"? Getting a little coked-out and sparing with the audience a la Carson?

Posted by: Lena at November 26, 2006 9:35 AM

On the subject of bottom feeders, did anyone happen to notice that Richards also went crawling to the Reverend Al Sharpton, who advised Richards that his apology wasn't accepted.

Who the hell made Sharpton the spokesman for all the black community? And since when does he get to accept or reject an apology that wasn't even directed to him?

Posted by: Patrick at November 26, 2006 11:44 PM

Remember. In Hollywood the only bad press is your obituary

Posted by: bill at November 27, 2006 7:28 AM

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