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Tom Cruise, Jesus Wanna-Be
(And instead of The Virgin Mary, we have the Stepford Katie.) Some people read the news; my boyfriend's pretty good at predicting it. Gregg said, a few weeks ago, Tom Cruise wants to be god. Now, there's this, in the fine Brit publication, The Sun. Emily Smith writes:

TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion. The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

Yes, we are all filled with tiny, crushed-up aliens, as a crappy sci fi writer contended in hopes of making a buck. Then again, that story is no less stupid and unbelievable than the stories other people invented in hopes of making a buck. Oh...excuse me, I have an Ark to catch.

Thanks, Norm

Posted by aalkon at January 31, 2007 8:42 AM


Lol, oh no! That's what the world needs- another celebrity who thinks they're God. Some would think the second coming of Christ would have the sense not to leap up and down on Oprah's couch like a bunny on crack- but that's just me...

Posted by: Julie at January 31, 2007 2:30 AM

Scientologists are:

1. Contentious
The want to think there's a right answer to life, that they have it, and they want to fight with you about it.

2. Credulous
Their distinctive personality quirks are easily nourished and exploited through sexless, wordy, essentially psychotherapeutic encounters: No one benefits from talking cures as much as a Scientologist. These guys are *really* lonely.

3. Humourless [New Item!]
Like many blog commenters and liberals, Scientologists can't tell or hear a joke for its own sake. Humor only appears in their rhetoric when it belittles their opponents or feeds their own egos, and is therefore hollow and wan. Laughter lifts heart as wings lift a songbird, but the Scientologist observes flight without comprehension or envy. That they might laugh at themselves is unthinkable.

(It's odd that people who have time enough to sign billion-year contracts can't chill long enough to have a little fun.)

4. Proud [New Item!]
They think the rest of us want to be like that. It's not enough to think that Risky Business had some good scenes; now we're expected to actually want to BE Tom Cruise.

Posted by: Crid at January 31, 2007 4:40 AM

The guy has been with Rebecca DeMorney, Penelope Cruz, Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes. That makes him a god in my book.

Posted by: eric at January 31, 2007 7:52 AM

Hey, Eric, right on. I always had a Mimi Rogers thing, especially circa The Mighty Quinn. At the last second, I'd go with Ms. Cruz, though.
Nicole Kidman? Feh.

Posted by: Cat brother at January 31, 2007 8:58 AM

Mimi was also mega hot in The Rapture. Penelope and Rebecca would have to be a tie for me. Penelope from Vanilla Sky and Rebecca from The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. I admit I am attracted to psychotic women...

Posted by: eric at January 31, 2007 9:19 AM

eric - please define "been with" as relates to Cruise.

Rebecca looks way too much like her dad, Wally George, for my tastes.

Posted by: LYT at January 31, 2007 3:31 PM

L. Ron Hubbard wrote some wonderful parody is an outrageous Golden Age of Sci-Fi spirit. I read somewhere Scientology was a spoof about religion and he was initially incredulous people would buy into it. That would make life stranger than fiction : works for me.

Posted by: opit at February 2, 2007 1:05 PM

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