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If You're This Retarded
You shouldn't be allowed out of the institution unsupervised.

containsmilk.jpg

Sticker seen yesterday at Gelson's Market, Marina Del Rey. On every wedge of cheese they sell.

Posted by aalkon at February 23, 2007 1:00 PM

Comments

I love it.

What's next? Stickers on wall outlets that read:


CONTAINS:ELECTRICITY

LOOK OUT! OWIE OWIE OWIE!

Posted by: RedPretzel at February 23, 2007 6:32 AM

Well, I didn't even know peacocks had nipples.

Posted by: eric at February 23, 2007 7:28 AM

In a way, it make sense for the encephale-impared individual out there. I would had liked the mention:"do not contain Peacocks" too. What's next? A "Caution: Hot" on coffee cups?

Posted by: Toubrouk at February 23, 2007 7:44 AM

Amy, as a frequent visitor to France you can answer my question. Is real French brie that much better than what we get here? As I understand it, the FDA only allows brie made from pastuerized milk to be imported, which is supposed to ruin the flavor.

Posted by: Todd Fletcher at February 23, 2007 7:50 AM

You can only get Compte and other hard cheeses unpasteurized in the USA. And yes, whole 'nother story eating unpasteurized cheese. It has more flavor, and it's also better for you. That bacteria in cheese is good for you.

And good point, Toubrouk. I'm sure "Contains no peacock parts" is next on their list.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 23, 2007 7:53 AM

No peacock parts? It's already here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/6159630.stm

Posted by: Norman at February 23, 2007 8:09 AM

Horrifying!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 23, 2007 8:26 AM

This stupidity infects everything in our society. I busted a gut seeing your post because I had no idea that Brie and a KBR job application (bottom of the post) could have so much in common.

Posted by: Guy Montag at February 23, 2007 8:41 AM

Clearly people need this. The same people who watch car commercials showing trucks being eaten by the Loch Ness Monster and then spit out, undamaged, and need this warning: "Not a demonstration of truck's actual capabilities." Really.

Posted by: justin case at February 23, 2007 8:55 AM

Mmmmm.....Brie.....

Lately I've taken to having a little Brie on toast for breakfast. Dee-licious.

Posted by: deja pseu at February 23, 2007 8:58 AM

That's too funny. Reminds me of that Ellen Degeneres routine where she talks about the people who need instructions on the backs of their shampoo bottles, complete with 800 number in case of questions.

Posted by: AAA at February 23, 2007 9:53 PM

Maybe it is just people coping with the the looming fear of killer bee attacks that are just around the corner?

Posted by: Guy Montag at February 24, 2007 12:19 AM

The Californians who put milk stickers on cheese are the ones, Santa Monicans mostly, who think health and virtue are the same thing. They're not trying to protect the really stupid people, they're trying to pester the rest of us. They make so much money that they have time to sit around an worry about getting cancer. They'd have preferred that the sticker on the cheese actually say "Heart Disease!" on it, but they lost that battle in the legislature in a tussle with a state senator from Tulare County ("A hideous, evil man! Plus, he was OVERWEIGHT!"). They figure that with these stickers, they'll at least be able to identify you as an omnivore in the checkout line at Whole Foods, and will be able to engage you in a conversation about the benefits of a strict vegan diet.

If they actually do this, you're authorized to turn their lights out with a right cross, and take a piss in their jacket pocket. The girl at behind the cash register has to look the other way. It's one of the rules.

Posted by: Crid at February 24, 2007 10:22 AM

Not really, but wouldn't it be great?

Posted by: Crid at February 24, 2007 10:24 AM

I dunno about you, but I see a lot of hefty people in Santa Monica. They're just wearing really ugly organic hemp clothes.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 24, 2007 2:42 PM

As opposed to what, Amy, where you live in Venice, where 800-square-foot starter homes now go for more than $1 million? I'm surprised to see you go for the cheap, easy and inaccurate shot at huge swaths of Santa Monica.

Posted by: AAA at February 24, 2007 4:50 PM

Oh, inaccurate not because SM doesn't have plenty of hefty people, but because of the hemp clothing comment. I lived there, never owned any, don't know anyone who does. Mostly the people I know are middle-class folk struggling like everyone else to make their rent, feed their families, etc. Sure north of Montana is another world, but it's only a small slice of the SM existence.

Posted by: AAA at February 24, 2007 4:53 PM

People in Venice tend to cover themselves with raw sewage. Or, at least, some of the guys sitting outside our local coffee house smell that way.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 24, 2007 5:02 PM

Wikipedia: The median income for a household in the city is $50,714, and the median income for a family is $75,989. Males have a median income of $55,689 versus $42,948 for females. The per capita income for the city is $42,874.

Posted by: Crid at February 24, 2007 7:08 PM

Compare with similarly-sized Alhambra: The median income for a household in the city was $39,213, and the median income for a family was $43,245. Males had a median income of $33,847 versus $29,122 for females. The per capita income for the city was $17,350.

Demographics is fun!

Posted by: Crid at February 24, 2007 7:15 PM

Perhaps they can use some of that median income to buy or rent AAA a sense of humor?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 25, 2007 9:26 AM

Well, I'd be happy to share it with you, Amy.

Posted by: AAA at February 25, 2007 11:40 PM

Looks like, after your post, Reason discovered almost the same story, in wordier fashion.

Posted by: Guy Montag at February 26, 2007 6:52 AM

Thanks, Guy, for linking to my piece there.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 26, 2007 7:13 AM

You are most welcome Amy.

BTW, I like stories with lots of pictures and not so many words. I think it is an Aviator thing or something.

Posted by: Guy Montag at February 26, 2007 8:36 AM

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