Advice Goddess Blog
« Previous | Home | Next »

Welcome, Assholes!
See all those big, boxy things next to where you parked your car this past Friday night? They're called houses! People live in them. People who are often doing things like sleeping at 12:30 am (imagine that!) when you were blasting your radio at full volume with your car windows open for about five minutes straight. Luckily, I wasn't among them, so I was able to get a nice, clear photo of your license plate.


Lucky for you, I decided the one of you I could sort of see looked too thuggish to safely get close, so I only got a partial photo of him -- the head-shaved cur in the passenger seat.


Anybody know these lowlifes?

Posted by aalkon at March 1, 2007 6:18 AM


I think that is only illegal in CA if a refrence to Christianity can be heard by a dog. Otherwise you are being too "uptight" and reactionary.

Posted by: Guy Montag at March 1, 2007 4:42 AM

Oh, I'm very reactionary about people being loud assholes in front of my house in the middle of the night -- as are my neighbors, Miss M. and Miss P.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 1, 2007 7:14 AM

Lol, one of the things I love about you Amy is your willingness to be confrontational. In this case you felt outgunned, and I understand that as good judgment. Allow me to recommend a future course of action. Call the coppers with the license number, while they're still out there, and complain about their drunken eratic driving. They'll be on them like flies on shit

Posted by: Casca at March 1, 2007 9:14 AM

Lying like that is against my personal code, and, I think, against the law.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 1, 2007 9:49 AM


I was just kidding. I would not think you were being reactionary even if you had donated a locking gas cap to them as a surprise.

Posted by: Guy Montag at March 1, 2007 10:10 AM

We live across from a neighborhood park, and every now and then some folks will come to picnic and feel the need to have very loud, thumping musical accompaniment coming from their car. I've found that if I go over and ask them nicely to turn the music down, they do so without giving me any grief, even the real gang-y looking ones (shaved heads, tattoo's, cultivated scowls). Haven't had too many problems late at night recently, tho.

Posted by: deja pseu at March 1, 2007 10:21 AM

Here's some armchair anthropology: this is just a typical masculine display of power. The loud noise and exhibition of personal wealth in the form of a vehicle and stereo system shows their suitability as mates and communicates their power and status to potential rivals. You see similiar behavior in primitive human societies. I guess it's in our genes, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

Besides, what kind of music-hating stick-in-the-mud wants to put limits on other people's freedoms? Maybe someone who's jealous because their system isn't loud enough? Haha.

Posted by: beansworth at March 1, 2007 11:15 AM



Posted by: Celeritas Subpontus at March 1, 2007 1:32 PM

During the day, I go out in and politely ask them to turn their music down. At 12:30 am, it's a different story. They're sitting next to houses blasting some megawatt stereo. I'm assuming we still don't allow the blind to get behind the wheel.

Masculine display of power? How powerful do you have to be to flip a switch on your radio and wake somebody's baby, and on a street that's not exactly the hood? Wow, that's macho.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 1, 2007 2:07 PM

I'm assuming we still don't allow the blind to get behind the wheel.

Amy, being blind does not affect the volume, being deaf does.

If you did not have a boyfriend (I am old now, that would not have mattered a short few years ago) I would try to impres you with my rumbly motor, butt kicking Alpine and pile of freshly minted carbon credits.

Posted by: Guy Montag at March 1, 2007 6:43 PM

Don't you have a neighbor with a kid? If the baby wakes up, and he's gonna be up screaming for a good twenty minutes anyway, wouldn't that be a great time to go walk him around in front of the house and see who can be louder? The whole neighborhood is now up anyway, and I bet it drives the boys off.

Posted by: Robyn at March 3, 2007 12:53 PM

My neighbors are a little less confrontational than I am, especially in the middle of the night, and believe me, there was little louder than these assclowns souped-up stereo.

What's fantastic about my neighbors (who have the two little kids) is how considerate they are. Sometimes their kids wake me up, but what matters to me is that their parents care enough to ask them to be quiet when they think I might be napping. Likewise, I don't dump bottles in the recycling when their little girl is typically sleeping. It takes so little to live peaceably and civilly amongst others. More people should try it!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at March 3, 2007 2:41 PM

Leave a comment