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The Love Bloat
Oh, look, somebody took the U.S.S. Nimitz to Earl Scheib!

lovebloat.jpg

Posted by aalkon at August 14, 2007 1:55 PM

Comments

An attention-seeking device, nothing more.

Posted by: Patrick at August 14, 2007 2:05 AM

I noticed the attachable testicles, by the way, for pick-up trucks the other day. I didn't know what they were, but a co-worker, who was driving, pointed them out to me. At first, I had no idea what they were. But she explained that they were ornamental "testicles" that people hung from the bottom of their pick-ups, to show that their truck has balls.

I've known some people to overuse the expression, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Well, I guess it's my turn now, but I honestly can't think of anything more stupid.

My coworker, who was driving, suggested that she should counter but putting huge breasts on the front of her car. The visual set me off laughing. The nipples would light up when she turned on her high-beams.

Posted by: Patrick at August 14, 2007 2:14 AM

Aw c'mon guys, a necktie is an 'attention seeking device.' A combed head of hair is an attention seeking device.
Can't anybody have any fun with their cars?

Posted by: Crid at August 14, 2007 2:41 AM

Oh, look, somebody took the U.S.S. Nimitz to Earl Scheib!

At $39.95, still a bargain!

Posted by: Doobie at August 14, 2007 2:43 AM

Why does all that love make me feel so hateful?

Posted by: Todd Fletcher at August 14, 2007 9:20 AM

>I noticed the attachable testicles, by the way, for pick-up trucks the other day. I didn't know what they were, but a co-worker, who was driving, pointed them out to me. At first, I had no idea what they were. But she explained that they were ornamental "testicles" that people hung from the bottom of their pick-ups, to show that their truck has balls.

I saw those for the first time yesterday, and my first thought was that I would NEVER be interested in a man who drove such a truck. I have the same thought about "Orgasm Donor" and the like stickers on a vehicle. I'm always amazed when I see women with these guys.

But I kinda like the heart paint job. At least it's different.

Posted by: Kimberly at August 14, 2007 11:09 AM

TO: Amy Alkon, et al.
RE: Actually....

....I'm wondering if the 'artist' was inspired by Andy Warhol.

Regards,

Chuck(le)
[Anyone can paint a picture, but it takes a genius to sell it.]

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at August 14, 2007 11:39 AM

I've seen the silver testicles (sadly, not the boobs...your coworker has a great idea, Patrick), but for sheer confusion the one that can't be beat was a vehicle I saw last week: a guy driving a pickup with a gigantic (like, filling half of the back window) bumper sticker that read, "Coat me in honey and toss me to the lesbians".

Clearly someone's missing the point of lesbianism.

Posted by: Rebecca at August 14, 2007 2:12 PM

A necktie is an attention-seeking device? Crid, I think yours cut off the circulation to your brain. In a business environment, neckties are mandatory. If you wanted to attract attention, you would remove your necktie. (You'd get attention, but I doubt it would be positive. But then again, most attention-seekers aren't the kind to worry about whether the attention they get is good or bad.)

Neckties are so commonplace, it's pitiful to think of someone who thinks he's attracting attention by actually wearing one. "Look at me! I'm wearing a tie!" (Unless the setting for one is wildly inappropriate.)

Posted by: Patrick at August 14, 2007 4:12 PM

Aw c'mon guys, a necktie is an 'attention seeking device.' A combed head of hair is an attention seeking device.

But it's a matter of degrees, Crid. There's making an effort, and then there's trying too damned hard.

Can't anybody have any fun with their cars?

For sure, and we can then make fun of them!

In keeping with the balls theme of Patrick's post, perhaps this person just wants to convey that he has a heart on?

(sorry.)

Posted by: justin case at August 14, 2007 8:56 PM

Well I don't know about car boobs but they certainly make car bras (at least that's what we always called the leather bug protectors some people put on the front of sports cars)

And Justin, that made me laugh way more than it should have. It must be time for me to sleep.

Posted by: Elle at August 14, 2007 10:57 PM

> Clearly someone's missing
> the point of lesbianism

Hi, Beccster!

Here are the best words you'll ever read on this topic, if only because no one else has ever been asked... (No one else has been worth asking)

Pros - Includes the phrase "Midol feminism"

Cons - Nonetheless ignores the quitessentially smothering quality of feminine nature

Be sure and get back to us on this. Too old to care, myself, but back in the day....

Posted by: Crid at August 15, 2007 12:42 AM

No, Crid, the con would be having to read Paglia's purple prose. I know that many heterosexual men are turned on by the thought of watching two (or three, or a gaggle? a clutch?) of lesbians, but the coating in honey? That implies a certain level of desired interaction that just ain't gonna happen.

Posted by: Rebecca at August 15, 2007 8:34 AM

Whose feelings are we talking about? No one's asking what the lesbians want....

Posted by: Crid at August 15, 2007 8:51 AM

Wait a few weeks. I'm sure the Democratic presidential candidates will address that issue during the next debate.

Posted by: Rebecca at August 15, 2007 10:19 AM

LOL, Amy, you are one funny broad! (last time was left giggling this uncontrolled at my desk was your post about that dinner napkin comment about that man who said woman should eat their hubby's bugers).....

Posted by: Erika at August 15, 2007 11:19 AM

Aww, thanks. And I love being called a broad. My boyfriend uses that word all the time. He was horrified when I told the women running a crime fiction film fest in Italy that he usually referred to them, collectively, as "The Noir Broads." They loved it.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 15, 2007 11:34 AM

Is that truck being used for advertisement? If so, thats definitely catchy! If someone paid me to drive a vehicle or provided a free one that was plastered with ads or something, I'd do it, no problem. I've never thought a car defines a person so I could care less what I drive. I have fun with my cars.

About the truck balls.....there is a movement in New England somewhere to outlaw them because apparently seeing fake rubber balls is 'damaging the children'. A mother was horrified when she saw them on the truck in front of her and when she complained about them out loud, her 8 year old son asked her what she was talking about, so she pointed it out to him, and now she claims he was embarrassed. Anyone catch that??? SHE had to POINT IT OUT to him so he was embarrassed. Ya think it was the balls or the fact his mom was showing them to him that got the lil kiddie all flustered?? I bet if he was riding with his buddies it would have been a cacklefest!!

Posted by: Cathleen at August 16, 2007 7:14 AM

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