Bridget Jones’ Diarrhea
Just posted another Advice Goddess column -- a coming-of-age story from a girl who thinks she just needs to choose between two guys. Here's her question:
I’m a 23-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 37. We’ve been very happy and communicate well, but I recently started hanging with a guy my own age, and I ended up having feelings for him, too. I hate going behind my boyfriend’s back when he’s fully committed, but my biggest fear is that my family will think he’s too old for me, and their approval means a lot. I need to choose soon because I hate lying to people I love. How do I decide who’s right for me, and what should I base my decision on?--Confused
An excerpt from my answer:
Write each guy’s name in catsup on your kitchen counter. Find a pregnant iguana. Clip its toenails and scatter them in a circular pattern around each name. Walk outside and ask the first person you see their name. More than eight letters? Go with the older guy. Fewer than eight? The young dude. Or…just dump both, leave the iguana to lick up the catsup, and throw yourself at the next guy who asks you the time.No, I’m not kidding. At this stage in your life, this is as good a method as any for deciding who will stay and who will go. The truth is, nobody is particularly right or wrong for you because there isn’t a whole lot of you to be right or wrong for. In fact, if you’re like a lot of people in their early 20s, you’re a larva in shoes. With boobs and a job, you probably look the part of an adult, but at best, you’re the test market for Smirnoff Ice and probably have a hard time with existential questions deeper than “Bleu cheese or ranch?”
The rest of my answer, plus comments on it, are here.
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