Reboobed
Buy yourself new titties, and guess what: You're not done. There may be heavy health and maintenance costs. From a New York Times story by Natasha Singer:
At a time when manufacturers have provided the F.D.A. with clinical studies that follow patients for just a few years, there is no established medical consensus on how long implants last, leaving doctors to rely on their anecdotal experiences when discussing durability with patients.Given the lack of such data, critics said, women may not be prepared in the long term for the ordeal or financial burden of subsequent surgery.
“Your implants may last less than 10 years or more than 10 years, but when you start having problems with them, your health insurance is unlikely to cover the M.R.I. tests or the reoperations,” said Carol Ciancutti-Leyva, the director of a 2007 anti-implant documentary called “Absolutely Safe.” “It can be a very expensive proposition, especially if you are young.”
Many women are aware that implants can break down over time, requiring replacement just like car tires. Both saline implants, made out of a saltwater solution, and silicone implants, made out of gelatinous silicone, can form minute tears in their rubbery shells, causing ruptures. In the case of such defects that require product replacement, both manufacturers, Allergan Inc. and the Mentor Corporation, offer guarantees. Mentor has a 10-year guarantee to replace implants and defray some surgical fees; Allergan’s warranty includes lifetime implant replacement and up to $1,200 for fees for the first 10 years.
Dr. Mark L. Jewell, a plastic surgeon in Eugene, Ore., who is a past president of the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, said he warns his patients that breast augmentation surgery automatically guarantees a second operation at some future date. He added that many patients in clinical studies had elected to have follow-up operations to change implant type, size or position.
“Women are used to having their hair or nails done on a regular basis to maintain their appearance,” said Dr. Jewell, who has conducted clinical trials for both implant manufacturers and is a consultant for Allergan, the manufacturer behind the ads running in Elle. “Ultimately, breast implants may also be a matter of maintenance.”
But a rupture is only one of the local complications that may engender additional surgery. Like cocoons that grow around larvae, scar tissue can form around implants; and sometimes that scar capsule hardens and squeezes the implant, causing pain and deforming breasts. And saline implants can cause visible, tactile rippling beneath the skin.
Not all doctors, however, are as forthcoming about the risk of additional surgery as Dr. Jewell.
“My plastic surgeon told me that my saline implants should last forever,” said Krista Schell.
Which brings me to a point I've been making a lot lately: Listen to your doctor -- and then go get a second and maybe even a third opinion, if it's about something major, and/or research their advice yourself if you're capable.
And finally, the big question: So, boys, what do you think of fake'uns? Like 'em? Or, even if you're a booby-man, would you rather see a flat-chested girl wearing a push-up bra to make the best of what she has?