Your original comments weren't offensive nor was her letter to you of the self-pitying whiner variety, just passing along information. I think you over-reacted.

This is stupid. I have epilepsy and I have grand mal seizures if I don't take my medication properly or sleep enough. Yes, I scream, convulse, foam at the mouth, you name it, it's pretty scary and disgusting - and, see, this is where the accurate reference comes in - the guy making a move could cause something scary, oh no. Someone doesn't quite comprehend sarcasm.

Additionally, some of my best graduate work was on epilepsy in women during the 19th century and the stigma attached - and I found it very funny, even though in the case of that particular research, the medical opinions of the day had absolutely no sarcasm involved.

You're my kinda woman, Jessica.

Roger, there was no information in her letter other than the fact that it was offensive to her because she lacks a sense of humor.

The letter writer engages in a fallacy that I've lately encountered more and more. The fallacy consists in assuming without evidence that the source of a dispute is the other party's ignorance. As if two "educated" people couldn't have a reasonable disagreement. As if facts are always so clear that one must be unreasonable to disagree with a particular interpretation of the facts.

I've noticed that the fallacy goes hand in hand with easily taking offense.

Remarkable.

Amy, the way you used three examples of non-mundane behavior to make a point was clear and incisive: UNLESS the woman in the office has shown some sign that her reaction might fall outside expected norms, "Meek" can feel free to approach her within expected norms.

This silly Michelle seems to be offended at the mere mention of the word epilepsy. If anyone is attaching a stigma to a medical condition, it is her. She doesn't want to be treated like everyone else, she wants to be carried through life on a gilded pillow, not gonna happen.

Sounds like she was pretty shaken up.

My friend has epilepsy and is not the slightest offended when someone uses phrases like "I am going to have a fit". (I'm sure this Michelle would be!) She thinks being politically correct is utter nonsense. I can only agree with her.

I think the "kid gloves" approach to problems and disease is part of what makes them off-putting. People sometimes find it hard to look at or interact with people in wheelchairs, and if the people in wheelchairs joke about themselves, it "humanizes" them. They become people, not objects of pity.

Callahan in his motorized wheelchair, picking up chicks: "See my new shoes? I hear they're very comfortable!"

EXACTLY, Amy. This is why I tell my boyfriend, "You'd better let me sleep or the demonic possession will emerge."

People don't know how to react to the news "I have epilepsy", and so they usually react poorly (cringe, grimace, “oh, I’m sorry”)

I wonder if she's ever thought that maybe her reputation precedes her, and people grimace, cringe, and say "oh I'm sorry" because they're bracing themselves for a lecture...

So what is the right response to someone saying "I have epilepsy"? I'm sure its not exactly a fun thing to deal with so the context of the announcement may be generating the response.

I had a girl work for me a while back who has IBS and was happy to tell anyone, anytime the topic of food came up. And she couldn't figure out why she wasn't getting dates.

I don't see why something like this would come up unless it was immediately relevant -- everyone's off to the disco or you're being interviewed to operate heavy machinery.

I think its a natural to have an initial feeling of sympathy for someone who suffers any health challenge. A reactionary "sorry" response shouldn't be a surprise. How people go from there is going to depend a lot on how the sufferee handles it. Humor is a great tool to let people know its no big deal.

I don't tell people I have ADHD, which I don't consider a "disorder," by the way, simply a different sort of brain functioning, unless it's somehow pertinent to the discussion. I mean, isn't there enough happening in American politics and the rest of the world that you don't have to give a medical history to keep the conversation flowing?

I have only announced "I have epilepsy" on a few pertinent occasions, so I don't know why this girl sounds like it's her standard introduction. That's the only way she could be getting any weird responses. My occasions:

1) Filling out scholarship applications for graduate school, trying to express an additional expense (uninsured student on necessary meds)

2) Sleeping with someone - as in, spending hours asleep vs. having sex. Sex without sleeping over did not necessitate this element of conversation; it becomes necessary with the sleeping activity because even though the chances of a seizure are slim, the risk is there, and my seizures generally have happened in between falling asleep and hitting REM. Therefore I believe it is only fair to give some preparatory warning so that should it happen, the person doesn't think I'm dying (possession is fine - be afraid, very very afraid).

3) This column, to illustrate the point that this girl is an oversensitive airhead with a chip on her shoulder and a victim's complex.

An additional thought - I wonder what variety of epilepsy she has? Epilepsy is a description of neurological symptoms rather than of an actual cause or specific disorder. So, I wonder, is she someone who is affected by lights? That I suppose might necessitate conversation with an employer. Or perhaps what are referred to as absentia seizures? Randomly "spacing out"? Plus, the fact that epilepsy is a collection of varying symptoms diffuses her issues with its supposed "stigma" - there are stigmas associated with different types of seizures, including petit mal, grand mal, absentia, etc., but not necessarily the term "epilepsy," at least not in my experience.

Maybe I was too quick to judge her conversational choices. However, her lack of a sense of humor and her obvious deficiency in the IQ department are unappealing enough to negate my natural tendency toward sympathy. I have the seizures with the worst type of stigma - the grand mal seizures I mentioned above - and I don't feel victimized or categorized. The fact that I'm demonically possessed simply adds to my charm.

When awkward people are lonely but realize they can't reach out to others without bringing more awkwardness into the world, they'll sometimes pounce on the one topic for which they can claim expertise as they (backhandedly) reach out to make contact. Yes? No? Especially when it's a topic with a victim-y tinge of pathos.

So now it's my turn!

I was a petit mal kinda guy as a teenager. They weren't actually seizures, but I'd pass out with spectacular falls when rising after sitting with my feet up for twenty minutes. Eventually the family saw this happen and grew concerned.

It was probably just adolescent low blood pressure. Nowadays I spend good money for pills because the numbers are too high. Sports statisticians will argue that my lifetime average is respectable. This analysis is not comforting.

Anyway, the doctor prescribed a Dilantin, a sometimes-psychoactive compound which was later implicated in those wacky stunts that President Nixon was pulling while under the same medication in those selfsame years.

Furthermore, I too had an irrational fascination with audio recordings. It's work out better for my career than for his, though.

Eww. I hope I didn't come across like that in this topic, Crid. I guess I really did say too much. Sorry.