I recently wrote my mother’s obituary. This I part of what I wrote: “Her boys ...” enjoyed the kind of free range childhood that their mother had enjoyed in ... including firecrackers in their Christmas stocking. They preferred bicycles to roller skates. The boys growing up thought it was perfectly normal for their mom to play a Concertina and use a slide rule. She raised them to know how to feed themselves, iron their own shirts, and fix the wiring and plumbing when needed.”

This isn't anything new. Rich parents over protecting their kids and breaking every rule just to get an additional benefit for their kids is about as old as history. And yes the kids end up useless little twits.

The helicopter parent thing was different. It wasn't the historic norm. And it was being enforced by our society. There are a lot of parents who don't want to helicopter but if your kids are out of your sight and the cops see them they can take them away from you. Now most cops don't care and won't do anything. But that doesn't matter. Most people don't want to win the government kidnaps your kids sweepstakes and react accordingly.

I love that, tmitss. So sorry for your loss.

Rich parents over protecting their kids and breaking every rule just to get an additional benefit for their kids is about as old as history. And yes the kids end up useless little twits. ~ Ben at March 17, 2019 6:38 AM

The old American upper-middle class, the WASPs, had something called "legacy admission" to elite colleges. We drew our ruling classes and industrial tycoons from that group - the Bushes, the Prescotts, the Vanderbilts, the Roosevelts, et al.

Somewhere along the line, the WASPs disappeared, perhaps into hiding, perhaps extinct.

The new rich (nouveau riche) want desperately to be the new elite, the new ruling class - the software billionaires, the social media barons, Hollywood elite, politicians, etc. They want those legacy admissions to elite colleges and universities.

So, they cheat and scheme their way into the privileges the WASPs had created for themselves. Their progeny going to a state school is unacceptable when a simpleton like George W. Bush was a legacy at Yale (Bushes had been going to Yale since at least the mid-1800s). Their progeny simply must get into an elite school.

And so, they cheat. After all, why should their child be condemned to toiling away at Kansas State when a degree from Harvard can be purchased instead?

Helicopter parents I can put them into two categories:

One, those that had a shitty childhood to the point that they swore that they will never raise their kids like their parents raised them and they push it too far.

And two, people living out their fantasies through their kids.

I never hated the kids. Imagine that your parents have no faith in you and you are put into a program that you are not qualified to benefit from.

Rich kids get advantages and they always have. They have private schools, tutors, extracurricular activities and legacy preferences. They are more likely to get the lead in the school play. A big donor can’t be upset. If they are still unable to perform with alll of that support they are either unqualified or unmotivated.

On the other hand, perhaps this will bring attention to the fact that there are great minds who don’t attend Ivy League schools. My scores were high enough to attend but I was not scholarship worthy due to poor grades and a lack of extra-curricular activities. I went to 15 schools which makes it difficult to participate, especially when you don’t have equipment, connections, or experience. As a child, I always wondered why I never got a part in a school play. Looking back, I understand. Would I cast a new-comer who hasn’t proven herself trustworthy, especially if she might move again before the production? My parents weren’t willing to help with expenses and I didn’t qualify for student loans.

My son was an athlete. He also scored in the top 5% on his SAT without tutoring or prep courses in a school that has been ranked in the bottom 10% based on test scores. He was courted by Princeton. He chose not to go there. He was concerned about fitting in when so many of the students come from a private school background and are better prepared. Besides, his dad had attended every game and we just couldn’t afford the time and expense of traveling to watch him play that far away.

The whole point of this is to say that often our definition of success is too narrow. Most Supreme Court justices aren’t just white and male. They are also rich, from New England, and attended either Harvard or Yale.

Try a little empathy? How about, "No."

Besides, this isn't suffering against the odds or a representation of effort. It's cheat-ing, and you can be sure that those workers who find out you're a fake will call you on it.

Whiners are famous for whining. Now, the children of Huffman, Loughlin et al will be famous for cheating.

Nice job!

One didn't like to eat food with sauce. Her whole life, her parents had helped her avoid sauce, calling friends before going to their houses for dinner. At college, she didn't know how to cope with the cafeteria options -- covered in sauce.

No words. "Helped her avoid sauce"?

I see people on Twitter suggesting Sauce Meltdown Co-Ed may be autistic or have "sensory processing disorder." If that's the case, I'm surprised the parents didn't demand a sauce-free environment under the ADA.

. Their progeny going to a state school is unacceptable when a simpleton like George W. Bush was a legacy at Yale (Bushes had been going to Yale since at least the mid-1800s). Their progeny simply must get into an elite school.

I disagree that George W. Bush is a “simpleton” as you put it.

He is and was a great deal smarter than Al Gore, whatever I might have thought of some of his policies as president.

Bill Clinton is no doubt brighter than both, but the character defects override his higher IQ.

Extremely high IQ is over rated. I know some of these super bright individuals. Many of them have real trouble with empathy, and have levels of naïveté about other people and the real world typical of an institutionalized eight year old.

Life unfortunately is not a calculus problem.

Affirmative action pretty much tore down any remaining standards at elite institutions. The game has always been rigged in favor of the wealthy and powerful at the elite schools. The only place where the bright kids of poor and middle class families really stood a chance was at the state schools, and the military academies. And even now most non stem programs there have been totally corrupted by federal loans and affirmative action.

I don't believe the autistic stuff Kevin. I've seen the same thing with plenty of other people. Her parents just pampered her.

By comparison I know a guy who is actually allergic to peas. Can't eat them. His throat swells up and he can't swallow. How does he cope with all the pea filled options everywhere? He doesn't eat them. Eats something else. Who knew coping was so easy.

I agree on the nouveau riche thing Conan. Mostly it says how good of a sales job those ivy schools have done. I think it was Google that found that the top students from most any US school were pretty much equivalent. The average student was quite different but when you got to the top 5% and 1% there really wasn't much difference. Ivy or state didn't matter much.

I disagree that George W. Bush is a “simpleton” as you put it. ~ Isab at March 17, 2019 9:24 AM

Isab, I was not calling GW a simpleton, I was mocking the voices of those who would argue that if he got into Yale as a legacy, their precious darlings ought to get in. I should have put "simpleton" in quotation marks to indicate that. I, too, think GW was a lot smarter than he got credit for being.

And yes, high IQ is over-rated. Attend a Mensa meeting some day. For an organization catering to the top 2% of society in intelligence, you'll find an awful lot of hippies, conspiracy buffs, and sheltered snowflakes, along with head-in-the-clouds intellectuals and well-grounded "normal" people who just happen to be smarter than average.

IQ does not measure EQ, drive, ambition, common sense, or any of the myriad other variables that help determine success in any endeavor. Its measurement is also limited by the inherent limits of standardized testing.

"After all, why should their child be condemned to toiling away at Kansas State "

That school sucks. It's for losers. International ag students flock to the place. Something about feeding the starving multitudes by increasing crop yields through scientific advances or some bullshit like that.

Yuck. That's not upwardly mobile at all.

I love that, tmitss. So sorry for your loss.

Amy Alkon at March 17, 2019 6:58 AM
Thank you

That last snowflake in the post: "I hope you give us some empathy and space to start over and become a full adult."

Wow, sorry to inform that snowflake; but, you ARE an adult now. And, instead of growing up and doing what he/she needs - he/she demands that we give him/her "space."

Yep, once a demanding snowflake, most likely always a demanding snowflake. That crybaby will get no empathy from me.

Most Supreme Court justices aren’t just white and male. They are also rich, from New England, and attended either Harvard or Yale. ~ Jen at March 17, 2019 7:50 AM

Even the current ones who are not white and male attended either Harvard or Yale Law School (Name - Birthplace - Undergrad - Law School):

• John Roberts - Buffalo, NY - Harvard - Harvard Law
  
• Stephen Breyer - San Francisco, CA - Stanford/Oxford - Harvard Law
  
• Neil Gorsuch - Denver, CO - Columbia - Harvard Law
  
• Elena Kagen - Manhattan, NY - Princeton - Harvard Law
  
• Samuel Alito - Trenton, NJ - Princeton - Yale Law
  
• Brett Kavanaugh - Washington, DC - Yale - Yale Law
  
• Sonia Sotomayor - The Bronx, NY - Princeton - Yale Law
  
• Clarence Thomas - Savannah, GA - Holy Cross - Yale Law
  
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Brooklyn, NY - Cornell - Columbia Law (also attended Harvard Law)
  

What I want to know is if any of these special entrants actually graduated. I am of the opinion that if these kids didn't have the academic chops to gain entrance on their own into these schools, they would eventually wash out. Were they permitted to wash out, or did the get additional "help" from these institutes of higher learning?

While Bush43 was a legacy admit to Harvard, Harvard has a vested interest in only graduating people who can maintain the academic standing. They would have cheerfully booted him if he couldn't keep up.

College is complicated. I had a good SAT score and might have gotten into an Ivy League school but realized I was not prepared. I went to a state school instead. Later, when I was getting my Ph.D. I turned Yale down because I got more money elsewhere.
I knew 2 genius guys in high school. Really off the charts like IQ 180 or something. One could not decide what he wanted to do. Majored in art but had a block. The other went to ivy league school and wanted to be a record producer and was shocked that they would not hire him straight away as a top exec. Last I heard he was working at a record store. For years.
My parents were very hands-off, not out of wisdom but simply out of exhaustion. Later I was glad.

About Sauce Girl: child, if you're eating cafeteria food, you want all the sauce they're legally allowed to give you.

About Sauce Girl: child, if you're eating cafeteria food, you want all the sauce they're legally allowed to give you.

I R A Darth Aggie at March 17, 2019 1:34 PM

This girl clearly needed to be the fifth kid in a big catholic family. As my good friend I call “three of nine” once said. In his family, there were the quick, and the hungry.

There are different kinds of schools IRA. Some like Harvard and many of the ivys are very hard to get into but very easy to graduate. Others are easy to get into but hard to graduate. And some like MIT are hard to get into and hard to graduate from. I don't think anyone was bribing people to get into MIT. It just wouldn't make a difference.

There is also the degree angle. Some degrees are all but impossible to fail. OU in Oklahoma is a good school but if you are taking one of the 'football degrees' you aren't going to fail. Those were put in place to meet all the league requirements but don't involve any pesky education that would get in the way of the real reason those people are at that school, football. So I wonder how many of these people are in similar degree plans.

From The Atlantic:

"Why the College-Admissions Scandal Is So Absurd"

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2019/03/college-admissions-scandal-fbi-targets-wealthy-parents/584695/

Last paragraph:

"Fraud and bribery are shocking, yes. But fraud and bribery’s lawful cousins—legacy preferences, athletic recruitment, and other admissions practices that lower the bar for progeny of the rich and famous—are ubiquitous."

>> There are different kinds of schools IRA. Some like Harvard and many of the ivys are very hard to get into but very easy to graduate.

yep - IIRC about 40% of grades issued by Harvard University are in the A range and ~80% are B's or above, and the undergrad (Harvard College) programs issue over 50% A's.

The funny thing is that the school is pretty candid about the fact that their grading is inflated, but they don't explain why. I suspect it's to protect legacies and foreign students who can't keep up with the kids who are admitted on merit alone.