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Clod Is In The Details
I spotted a beautiful
girl on Wednesday at a local bar. To break the ice, I sent her and her
girlfriends a round of drinks. She and I flirted and talked the entire
evening, and I got her phone number when she left. Friday afternoon, I
left her a message that a bunch of friends and I were meeting at a happy
hour Friday after work. I left my cell number so she could call me back.
A week has passed, and I still haven’t heard from her. This is weird,
because she seemed like a great girl, and I was pretty sure we’d
really hit it off Wednesday night. What’s my next move? --Telephone Silence Why
wait until you have a relationship with a woman to take her for granted?
Take her for granted right from the start!
Dating is the showroom for the relationship. Especially on the first
few dates, it’s the little things that count -- like whether you
use gold cord or red ribbon to tie the engraved dinner invitation on the
dove’s leg when you send a flock of them through her bedroom window. Although
communicating via rent-a-fowl isn’t a dating must, it does serve
an important function: letting a woman know how much you care. Of course,
so does a last-minute phone message informing her of an opportunity to
stand next to you in a crowd scene with discount alcoholic beverage service.
(At least you didn’t drive around looking for her, then yell an
invitation out the car window: “Hey, I’m starved and my house
is a mess -- how about you come over and mop my floors and make me dinner?”)
If
she isn’t on a romantic dinner date with a guy who asked her out
last week for this week, she’s probably wondering what we’re
all wondering: Who was that guy buying her and her friends drinks on Wednesday,
your stunt double? That guy would surely understand the difference between
football and dating: you don’t give a “great girl” a
two-minute warning, then expect her to come running so you can tackle
her. Until you come to understand this, your dating field will fail to
resemble the playing field in a fundamental way -- it will not include
scoring.
Your answering machine hit-and-run maneuver is unlikely to minimize your
losses. In fact, you should never leave a recorded message for a woman
you don’t know very well. But, but...you don’t want to get
rejected, not to your face. Yes, you do. Because what’s worse than
being rejected to your face is being rejected not to your face. When that
happens, you’re never sure whether you really were rejected, or
as you’d prefer to believe, you called the wrong number or she dropped
her answering machine into the Ganges.
Get this girl on the phone and explain that you were so impatient to
see her that you kind of screwed up, and you should have asked her out
for dinner. Then do it. The idea is to let her know how special she is
to you; something you show by putting a little bit more time, effort,
and thought into sweeping her off her feet than you would into brushing
a fleck of lint off your sweater.
For courage, just imagine what you could be telling your grandkids: Grampy
went to a bar where he met the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen
-- smart, funny, and all the trimmins’. Then Grampy called the woman
and came off like a huge dorkus, and cheap, too, so she never called him
back -- and that’s how he got stuck with Grammy!
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