What An Earl Wants
Pursuing a relationship with this guy is like sentencing yourself to live out the rest of your days stuck in that "distracted boyfriend" meme...
When Hairy Palms Met Sally
Wouldn't you know it, he got "bored and curious," as in, "Yawn...I wonder what really enormous fake breasts look like."
Leering Impaired
Whatever happens, you'll always have Miss February. Sure, people are bound to stare when you're out to dinner with a magazine page Scotch-taped to the chair across from you, but there are a few things you can count on: She'll always be naked; she'll always be smiling; and she'll never crawl off page 89 and start ransacking your sock drawer when you get in the shower.