Thighs Matter Last year, I had a one-night stand with a guy I'd gotten to know online. I was very attracted to him, mentally and physically. Apparently, he didn't return my feelings, because he blew me off totally -- probably because of my significant weight problem, and my deep insecurity about it, which made our encounter extremely awkward. (I wouldn't have dated me either.) Well, that night was part of a big wakeup call that my weight was getting in the way of who I really am. I've since lost 85 pounds, and revamped other areas of my life. I‚m happier and more confident than I‚ve ever been. I recently saw the guy at a club. Although he didn't recognize me immediately, he did remember me, and asked for my number. He's called several times, and I don't answer even though I want to. Is it okay to want to give him another chance? The vast majority of my friends say no way, while 25 percent are in the yes camp. I look, feel, and act like a totally new person, but the catch is, I'm not.
--Less Is More
Guys are not standing around at parties, whispering to each other, "Wow, get a load of the personality on the girl across the room with the butt zoned for two-family housing." The exception, of course, is in that dating Disneyland where the vast majority of your friends reside. In their world, nice men don‚t even blink when they see a woman whose scale suggests she has a Shetland pony strapped to her back. There, Sports Illustrated swimsuit models run into the hundreds of pounds, and get hoisted onto the beach with heavy-duty cranes. Victoria‚s Secret girls are chosen by how closely they resemble Drew Carey when the lights are dimmed.
Back here in the real world, fat girlfriends don't go over so big -- and, no, not because men have been brainwashed into wanting thin ones, but because they were hard-wired that way back in the cave. According to anthropologist Donald Symons, cross-cultural data says men seem to partner up with whatever-sized woman will make them look like Joe Alpha. The ideal amount of body padding appears to go up and down with the food supply. Here, where there's a 7-11 next to every 7-11, guys go for girls who are slim-to-fading. Where food is harder to come by, like in Eskimo country, blubber is beautiful.
No, you don't have to look like a breadstick to have a boyfriend, but 85 extra pounds and all the heavy thoughts that went with them were enough of a barrier to make you un-dateworthy even to yourself. But do remember, four score and five pounds ago, this guy did think enough of the you buried under all that flesh to want to meet. Now, after viewing the impressive results of your recent excavation, he's hot for the whole package. This is a problem?
Your real problem is your method of decision-making: a mini Gallup Poll. Extend this to other areas of your life, and it should make even the simplest errands exceptionally slow: “Paper or plastic?” -- “Um, hold on...lemme phone a few friends.” Chances are, you still see yourself as the fat girl, and you're looking to your friends to tell you how thin girls are supposed to think. Well, the happiest ones think for themselves. The question isn't what's the right thing to do, but what's the right thing for you? Just a guess, but: answering the ringing phone, going out with a guy you like, who also likes you -- now that he can find you.
Angry broads like Weaver are coming over from here:
http://whygodwhy.forumotion.com/subcultures-f9/amy-alkon-fat-hating-advice-columnist-t173-50.htm
Here's the call to action!
"Actually, Ink has inspired me. What if we were to all snark one of her advice columns and post them up in her comments section?"
And the ladies apparently can't argue rationally, so there's this:
"All right, so how do we wanna go about this? Spam her articles with comments or what?"
Amy Alkon
at June 17, 2009 9:37 PM
I disagree with this advice. Even if the guy wasn't attracted to her back then, he could have behaved in a way that wouldn't total crush her self-esteem, and he wouldn't have ignored and almost forgotten her for a whole year. He's not into her, he just wants to tap that ass again. I say she ignore him. Forever.
3 years too late, though. Wonder how it worked out.
Run at December 3, 2009 5:29 AM
Warning: tl;dr and replying to a shitstorm that I believe is probably over. I apologize in advance.
So. I've read a few of your articles, read the so-called "angry broads" and I think I should straighten out a few things:
I consider you a complete idiot, therefore the throwaway email address and unclever username and general half-assedness when it comes to posting this message. I think your advice is completely ridiculous and that the wonderful depraved people from the WGW forums are giving you decent criticism, to which you are responding immaturely, with "ur just jelliz lol" and nothing of substance. I realize that several enjoy your advice columns and I probably will never be able to change your mind. I respect that. Go ahead and ignore this comment, ban my IP, etc. etc. etc. You don't need to respond to me or acknowledge my arguments. That's fair. It's your right, after all.
Now, you should realize, WGW is intended to be a forum where people don't censor themselves, aside from the obligatory no shota/loli/toddlercon/etc. It's an internet sporking forum. These are the guys who go through the bitter dregs of idiocy. Frankly, they are not bored housewives with nothing better to do than whine to you, of all people. They are not going to be nice to you. I know most of that drama is apparently over, I just have time to kill and(being honest here) want to see if I get an amusing reply. Because if you decide to forgo your god-given right to ignore my nasty little(okay, huge) comment, the results are sure to be lovely.
Anyway. This advice is ridiculous, the bastard used her for a night then trashed her. Why the hell would she want to give him the satisfaction of doing it again? Occasionally you say something worth listening to, but this is not one of those times.
Well, my fingers needed a workout, and they tend to produce long and boring monologues which normally I wouldn't force on anyone when I sit down to type, but since I did you the courtesy of reading a few posts of yours, hopefully you'll return the favor.
Unrepentant,
~It's Not Walter.
It's Not Walter at February 20, 2010 4:04 PM
Yasmin Coulas
Celena Mbamalu at June 30, 2010 1:37 PM
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