The differences will be interesing, in my experience.

For once, you may notice that the men attending can actually dance. The women, alas, cannot.

The men will be trim, friendly, nattily-dressed, and well-groomed. The women, alas, will not.

The men will drink the white wine and not eat the cake (carbs!). One half of the women will drink the beer and eat the cake, and the jello, and the...entire buffet.

You get the idea.

HAHAHAHAHA! I love that Craig Kilborn quote!

I've never been to a gay wedding, but I would imagine that Spartee is spot on. It's probably like a heterosexual wedding except for the glaring difference that you may not have a shot at banging a bridesmaid.

I don't want to say or do the wrong thing.

What were you planning on saying and/or doing? I'll second Amy's advice to not say or do anything you wouldn't at a heterosexual wedding. Which I don't think you would anyway, since you're aware enough to ask for etiquette tips. Just don't let yourself be too worried, or you'll end up slipping in the verbal diarrhea. Relaxing will be your friend here.

I think Amy's right in that the big concern is over nomenclature. If these guys are decent people, they won't make you guess what you're supposed to call them and won't want to watch you squirm. Another thing to remember is that, unlike when Ross Geller's ex-wife got married, the other guests won't all be gay. It's a wedding, not a meeting of a secret society (probably).

Moral of the story: relax, have fun and definitely join the conga line.

I hate to give weight to my own stereotypes, but Spartee pretty much has it right.

The "I don't want to say or do the wrong thing" leaves me puzzled. What could you possibly say or do that would cause the entire assembly to ice over, go silent, and freeze you with the stare of the universal shun?

Gays are not a foreign culture. Any innocent faux pas is likely to be gently corrected with the understanding that this isn't your usual crowd, not cause you to be blacklisted and shunned by the gay community world wide.

freeze you with the stare of the universal shun

I'm now picturing Jack MacFarland and Cam from Modern Family giving this stare whilst cutting wedding cake. And I think it should be the Stare of the Universal Shun. Such a great phrase deserves the capitals.

If he's attending as a single person, his concern may be more about being presumed gay and approached by another man. All he has to do is be polite and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm straight". It's highly unlikely that a gay man will ask him to dance without first finding out that information. They'll ask the groom(s), "What's the story with your cute friend in the corner?"

I helped cater a wedding last year, and didn't even notice that there were two brides until several hours into the reception.

I'll have to disagree with spartee, though, 'cause I think that there's a good chance of there being LOTS of single (straight) ladies in attendance (assuming that it's a man couple getting married). Unfortunately, a lot of the ladies may be the chubby, needy types who don't understand why (good looking, financially secure, polite) men are so shallow and only want to date hot chicks...

I've been to two lesbian weddings. At the second one, the butch girl's dad made a very inappropriate speech referencing their lesbianism.

NicoleK,

We don't get to choose our relatives. I've been lucky, mine are all good on both sides.

I knew this girl in Japan whose father tore up her passport and kicked her out when she told them she was marrying an American.

Wear crotchless pants, and bring a jar of vaseline. Keep your mouth shut and your crack open. You will be a big hit, no more worries.

Well, at the one lesbian wedding I went to, we were subjected to the traditional perverted lesbo ritual of the DJ playing both "Sisters Are Doing It for Themselves" *and* "We Are Family" in the same set!

ahw writes: Unfortunately, a lot of the ladies may be the chubby, needy types who don't understand why (good looking, financially secure, polite) men are so shallow and only want to date hot chicks...

As I told a friend who bemoaned the fact that once married, her husband stopped being sensitive and caring. So, I told her that the reason you don't meet guys like that is because they already have boyfriends.

"Wear crotchless pants, and bring a jar of vaseline. Keep your mouth shut and your crack open. You will be a big hit, no more worries."

So crude, but I have to admit I laughed out loud.

True that, Mark! Actually, at the first lesbian wedding I went to the father of my friend made a beautiful speech. So they cancelled each other out.

Easy. Go, eat and drink like you would at any other wedding, chat to people, get out and dance in groups. They're all still human. I seriously doubt there's any huge change in etiquette. Although I would like to know who throws the bouquet.

If he's attending as a single person, his concern may be more about being presumed gay and approached by another man.

That's probably the issue LS, and as you say you just be polite and make it clear you're not interested. No different to any other dating situation when you get down to it, when someone of the opposite sex you're not interested in tries to chat you up.

And look on the bright side LW - reduced competition for any cute single girls that might be there! Just make sure you look slightly disheveled - couple of stains, tie to one side, mess up your hair a bit - so they can pick you out from the gay men :)

Wear crotchless pants, and bring a jar of vaseline. Keep your mouth shut and your crack open. You will be a big hit, no more worries.

Bruce, you forgot to say "bend over and think of England"...

I don't want to say or do the wrong thing.

What were you planning on saying and/or doing? I'll second Amy's advice to not say or do anything you wouldn't at a heterosexual wedding. Which I don't think you would anyway, since you're aware enough to ask for etiquette tips. Just don't let yourself be too worried, or you'll end up slipping in the verbal diarrhea. Relaxing will be your friend here.

I think Amy's right in that the big concern is over nomenclature. If these guys are decent people, they won't make you guess what you're supposed to call them and won't want to watch you squirm. Another thing to remember is that, unlike when Ross Geller's ex-wife got married, the other guests won't all be gay. It's a wedding, not a meeting of a secret society (probably).

Moral of the story: relax, have fun and definitely join the conga line

Amy, I think you're having another issue with this thread now. I did not post the above, which is a duplicate of my earlier post minus the html tags.

Amy, I think you're having another issue with this thread now. I did not post the above, which is a duplicate of my earlier post minus the html tags

From NumberSix: ie, it's pretty arrogant of you to assume that the problems in this thread were because of someone messing with you. It wasn't just your posts that got smushed together: it was a whole bunch of posts repeated in sequence, several of which happened to be yours.

From Amy:

ie is one of the paranoids out there. If somebody's doing mischief, as you point out, Number Six, they're not going to post a bunch of posts with time stamps. Where's the fun in that?

ie, it's pretty arrogant of you to assume that the problems in this thread were because of someone messing with you. It wasn't just your posts that got smushed together: it was a whole bunch of posts repeated in sequence, several of which happened to be yours.

ie is one of the paranoids out there. If somebody's doing mischief, as you point out, Number Six, they're not going to post a bunch of posts with time stamps. Where's the fun in that?