It's social proof - like when people choose to go to the crowded restaurant because they think the crowds mean its better than the empty restaurant.

E.g. here's a picture of a guy on a dating site with two attractive women:
http://k0.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/16/150x150/558x800/38x0/433x394/0/4862857141775243404.jpeg
The picture sends the message that quality women like him - similar to the crowded restaurant.

That should be the picture has two attractive women, not the dating site has two attractive women (although both may be true).

@Snoopy -- Social proof according to Yogi:

"Nobody goes there any more. It's too crowded."

I think you're reading too much into this. If the women in question wanted to show off the guy then she wouldn't have cropped him out of the picture. Much more likely she just liked how she looked in that particular shot. Which might be a red flag if it's the ONLY picture she posted--(was that the only good hair day in her entire life?)--but if it's one of many I wouldn't give it a second thought.

And c'mon: webcam shots are never flattering (bad lighting and weird angles). Cell phone mirror pictures are tacky. Posed photo shoots look contrived and generally don't turn out as well as you'd like. Most people are going to be working off the pictures they have, and generally those are going to be group shots. So yes, there may be a detached arm somewhere in the picture--big deal. Better that than a photo that's 10 years old and 20 pounds lighter, right?

If the women in question wanted to show off the guy then she wouldn't have cropped him out of the picture.

Like in the other column, I have to agree with Shannon. If the guy's cropped out to where you can't identify him, it's probably because it's one of the only decent pictures she has of herself. If the photo's cropped to where you can still see the guy is intimately familiar with her, then methinks Amy's right on with the "Look! A man once wanted me!" analysis. But I doubt that most women looking to hook up on dating sites are that complicatedly conniving. It's far more likely they'd post an old photo or one that's been Photoshopped to within an inch of its life.

"Consider this proof I was once 10 years younger, 20 pounds lighter, and had an entirely different head."

Old photos of me would show me 10 years younger and 20 pounds heavier. Go figure.

Head hasn't changed, although losing weight changed my face shape a bit.

Riffing on Snoopy's comment, I suppose the picture with the ex-boyfriend could be saying a number of different things, depending on what the ex-boyfriend looks like. On one hand, she could be saying, "You'd better be a finer catch than this guy," or she might be saying, "Somebody save me from Sasquatch here!"

I've seen this sort of thing, and it's usually been an indication that the woman is socially awkward - she doesn't see any need to make the effort to post a better pic. Though some do it for the specific purpose of pissing off whoever it is they've cut off in the pic. You can ID these ones because they'll bring up the ex soon after you start communicating with them.

It could also be a sign that she doesn't take pictures of herself standing alone. That could be a good thing.

What kind of dumbass takes the time to not only be concerned about such a thing, but to actually write a letter? And who's to even say that the guy is her ex?

Maybe it's her brother or cousin or something and that's why she didn't think anything of it?

Who cares?

The picture is there to give you a rough idea of what she looks like. If you like it, go get coffee with her. If you don't, then hit "next".

Maybe she has a good reason for posting that picture. HEY! That could be used as a conversation topic! Adults communicating. OMG!

Like Shannon said, it might be the only decent photo of herself she could find. If I ever got divorced and had to post a picture on a dating site, God knows what I'd have to dig up out of the archives. I don't have a webcam, I don't have a cell phone, and I'm sure my wife would take the digital camera in the divorce.

Women are not the only ones who use cropped photos for their profile pic on dating sites. Men do the same thing all the time, even better are the guys who pose with 2 young things in bikini's on either side of them. Both genders make mistakes in this way.

Everyone puts in a picture they think will make them appealing to the opposite sex. A lot of people make horrible mistakes. It is always an unpleasant surprise to show up at a restaurant or coffee shop and meet someone who looks like the grandfather of the person in the photo. One man put 40 year old pictures in his profile. In case you misunderstand the pictures themselves were 40 years old. The man was 82.

Just put it down to people being unsure, insecure, and sometimes stepping back into dating after a long relationship.

I agree that they probably chose the photos because they were the only ones that they had on hand that looked good. Even so, I would take that as a bad sign, because it shows that they don't care enough to put in the small amount of effort it would take to get a decent photo. And come on its a small amount of effort to dress nicely one day and ask someone to take a few pictures of you. If I was going to ask someone out I would want to know that they put more than the minimum effort into their profile. And it certainly applies to men and women. By my estimate on the sites I've looked at about 1/3 of the people with photos have even one photo of them by themselves where you can actually see their face and what they look like, and an even smaller number have only decent photos. That's before even getting into whether the photo is actually any good as a photo. My question is why do the people who have good photos also post 4 or 5 awful photos? To my mind 2 or 3 good photos is better than 2 or 3 good photos and 4 or 5 photos where we can't see you at all or you look awful or drunk.

On the priority scale of all the things that are wack when it comes to online dating, I think a woman's cropped picture is pretty low on the list.

C'mon ladies, many of us feel hard pressed to find what we think is a 'good' picture of ourselves. So if we looked 'hot' that night when we went out and posed for pics with those sailors during fleet week, then that's what gets posted. I think a lot of ladies are looking only at their hair/face/outfit, and not considering that the "hairy arm of the guy she just dumped (lol)" is ruining it for their potential dates.

I dunno, I've helped a friend with her online dating profile and have looked at a lot of pics of the guys on there. Dudes don't make such a great effort to post flattering pics, either. Yes, men are 'visually oriented', but I wonder if that only applies to their 'visions' of women...this ability apparently doesn't help a guy in choosing a photo that doesn't make him look like a serial killer.

just saying.

I'm guilty of posting photos of myself with other people, sometimes they are men. In my defense, I'm not really one of those people who likes my photo taken (even though I used to be a model) so most of the photos I have are ones taken at parties or business events.

Upside is... I'm already dressed well with some makeup on and it shows that I'm somewhat likable. Downside... It probably makes me look like a party animal, which I'm really not... Events are my job.

But a dating site should say who you are... So action shots showing snippets of your life are, in my opinion, superior to what many men do.. Which is use photos of themselves next to their possessions: car, boat, house, etc. To me, that screams insecurity.. As in... "I know I'm a loser but see... I got money and lots of possessions. Only missing one more... So trophy wives, apply here."

Also.. I don't care how great looking a guy is... I will not answer if he has a photo taken in a bathroom mirror of his bare chest. Frankly, I'm not looking at the chest, I'm looking at how messy the bathroom is... Or how undecorated it is... And wondering.. Does this guy really have NO friends that could have snapped some better photos?

We don't care how in shape you think you are now... Thats irrelevant as we know that as soon as you get us you're going to pork out. OR.. We're thinking... If you were going to sneak away from the wife/girlfriend to take a shot for your dating site, you should have taken down the pantyhose hanging in the shower.

OR.. We're thinking... If you were going to sneak away from the wife/girlfriend to take a shot for your dating site, you should have taken down the pantyhose hanging in the shower.

Ha Sue, I'll remember that if I need a dating photo. I'm on good terms with 3 ex-gfs and have several female friends, a few of whom come out on drunken bar nights with me and crash here. There's almost always some underwear hanging round my house somewhere...I wouldn't want anyone to think I was cheating.

I promise I don't sniff any of it :)

If I were dating and I saw a pic of a man with a couple of beautiful women (as in the like provided by Snoopy) I'd immediately think "player" and pass him by.

"like when people choose to go to the crowded restaurant because they think the crowds mean its better than the empty restaurant"

For men, generally, yes. If a woman posts a pic on a dating site, and you can see the arm of some other man hanging on her, it gives a bit of a slutty vibe to me. It gives that 'I spend my time in the arms of other men' vibe. Or if she just didn't think, it means she probably isn't too bright. If she just didn't care, she's apathetic or lazy.

I mean, if you don't put your best foot forward when looking for a potential mate for life --- when will you actually bother? That IS your best foot, so the rest is likely to be worse.

"If I were dating and I saw a pic of a man with a couple of beautiful women (as in the like provided by Snoopy) I'd immediately think "player" and pass him by."

And you'd be correct, because the primary strategy for a player to make himself appear attractive is to manufacture perceived interest from other women. And the player doesn't mind that you'd pass him by, in fact he knows it, because while 90% of women don't like this, 10% fall for it predictably as clockwork, and if you play your numbers a catch is almost a certainty.

"If the guy's cropped out to where you can't identify him, it's probably because it's one of the only decent pictures she has of herself"

Yes, because in today's society, the one thing that's always in short supply and never seems to be around when you need one, is a camera. Those rare devices that are practically impossible to find. If only they could make them cheap and ubiquitous, or I don't know, maybe if they built them into smartphones and cellphones and laptops and tablets.

I have lots of pictures of myself, but not many I'm all that happy with. People have a habit of taking pictures of me when I'm shoving a fork into my mouth or look like I just swallowed a bug. And I'm usually the one taking pictures, so I have lots of great shots of other people.

I really think people are reading too much into this.

Got to agree with Shannon and MonicaP here.

Likewise, to respond to Michael, asking someone to take pictures of you at random is kind of awkward. I had a hard enough time asking my friend at work to take a picture of me for a new Facebook profile pic after I had my hair buzzed off after my wife finished her chemo treatments. Asking someone to take pictures to post on a dating site would be difficult.

Hmm... whattaya think BOTU's picture looks like?

I'm with Rozita. If I saw that picture, I'd think player -- actually, I'd think conceited, self-centered, kinda immature player -- and keep on clicking. It may well be that he's a great guy with lots of fun women friends, but you don't get the context with that picture.

Having a special picture taken for a dating site shows (1) you're serious about it (i.e., less likely to be cheating on your significant other or just screwing around), (2) you have at least one friend willing to help you take a nice snapshot for the dating site.