Men who get this treatment are usually told "Trust your gut, it never lies", when they fail to heed their EWS-- Early Warning System.
Mine went off well before my last dump, but what puzzles me still is why three different women over the years chose to dump me right at Christmas...

Who hasn't had a bad breakup? It sucks! It hurts! And it leaves you second guessing every decision, every conversation…So don't feel alone, Ms Devastated! Expect that you this will eat your brain for at least 6 months, and at the end, you still won't be able to figure out why he was a jerk. That being said, all of us are capable of being jerks; it's just we don't remember when we were, but other people could probably remind us.
Don't try to figure it out…it's just life. There is no reason for 100,000 Indonesians to be wiped out by a tsumani; there is no reason for 150,000 Chinese to be wiped out by an earthquake, and there is no reason for Mr Jerk to wipe you out, either. It just is.
So, don't make any important decisions in regard to your job, your home, your car, your plastic surgery, your travel for at least 6 months, and practice the discipline of saying to yourself every single time your mind roams to the pain, like a tongue roams to a broken tooth--STOP! I will not think of this; I will repeat how lucky I am to be young, beautiful, employed, not homeless, not emotionally corrupt, not unkind. I will choose to remember how stupid he is for not choosing me. Remember, living well is the best revenge!

I'm saving this one till next time, pbj. Two thumbs up.

jefe - I have a theory about your breakups. Women tend to imbue gifts with a lot of meaning. A whole lot. We agonize over whether the gift we pick out sends the wrong message.

So if they broke up with you before gift-giving, they were trying to reconcile their diminishing affections with the act of giving a gift. Picking out a thoughtful and welcome gift would be an act of love, which would be in conflict with their feelings.

Like I said, it's a theory, and only based on years of hearing friends question both the gifts they receive and the ones they give. Nothing scientific involved.

Remember, living well is the best revenge!

In a nutshell, baby! Also, Ms. Devastated? Consider this: you may have just dodged a bullet. If he could break up with you via email, what other shysterly shit might he have pulled? I'm a big fan of the "go with your gut" school of thought, so maybe, just maybe, there were signs you weren't paying attention to either? Just askin'. And one more thing: If you can't muster up the "living well is the best revenge" feeling just yet, "fake it til you make it" works wonders. You start out pretending you don't care, and live your life to the best of your ability, and soon you'll realize you don't care (or not as much as you did, anyway) and that'll free you up to take better care of yourself.

Best of luck to you!

Jefe - Tasha is correct, but there is more. Would *you* want to go through December, January, and February with someone who isn't interested in continuing the relationship? Because if you break up in December, there's the agony of having been dumped right before or at Christmas. You don't want to break up right before or at New Years Eve. And then there is Valentine's Day.

This is why, when I was single, I refused to date after November 1st. Just get through all the holidays easy peasy.

Guess I'll prolly be uncle-says-unfortunate-truths here...

But why is it that you think this would have been better in person? So you could ask why?

Yeah, it's like being knocked over from behind, you weren't expecting it.

But would it be better to have faced him, and watched his eyes avoiding yours, and felt that distance as a sudden infinite chasm? Most people have felt that at least once, I think I've never felt so much like puking, like having been eviscerated with a spoon, in my whole life.

Amy's points are valid in some ways, but the simple fact is, watching a relationship end, short or long is difficult... so much so, that many people will stay in BAD ones, to avoid that emptiness.

As Flynne says, maybe it's a bullet dodged... if he was being truthful about the reasons, probably so. Sometimes people get together with people thinking the other person will change... it's stupid, but there it is. It certainly sucks to be the person expected to change. believe me.

Unless this is your first time round, you've prolly felt all this before... and you were hoping to never feel it again. Do you believe life works that way? Even for those married long to a person they've always been with... when one passes away, often the other can't stand waiting, and hurries to follow.

For many reasons we don't like to feel these transitional feelings. And life usually looks at that, and says: "tough"

All in all, it's ok to search for a kernel of truth in what he said, it's ok to hate his guts[for a while only, don't let it eat you] ok to do some navel gazing.

And then walk out of the house in a few months, when it springtime, and feel how beautiful this life is, and say to yourself:
"Life goes on. I'm going on with it."

At least he didn't stand you up for a date and disappear.

Just days before, we had a romantic date, and he kept saying things like "We're so good together" and was very lovey-dovey.

LW, Think about this for a moment. He was faking, lying to your face and you didn't know. Unless he had a sudden "I gotta break up now" spaz attack, he knew he was going to dump you, and still he lied. You shouldn't be sad, you should be pissed! Really, royally hacked!

You should also reflect on what red flags you missed, as this is a learning experience for you. We all fall for the wrong guy, we all gloss over the signals that we should run screaming, but we should also learn to spot those signals so that we don't make the same mistake twice.

Throw yourself the traditional icecream and picture photoshopping ceremony. Draw devil horns and mustaches on his pic, and eat rocky road till you giggle uncontrollably. Have a girls night out with your friends, and dance yourself silly. Sign up for a class in something you like to do, or sign up to teach a class in something you love. Lather, rinse, repeat until you wouldn't know him if he bumped into you on the street. (He may be that panhandler on the corner by then, since he can't handle a woman that contributes to the family coffer)

Three months? As in three whole months, or a month plus a week on each side? Either way, it's not much of relationship to get hurt over.

Yeah, it might be tactless to break via email, but I guess it could be a whole lot worse, like doing it via Facebook for everybody to see.

He probably just found a girl who was closer to what he was looking for.

he should have had the decency to fake his own death

In the email, he said he realized that we aren't compatible, because I'm too driven and career-focused and he needs a more traditional woman. Why did he never mention this before?

Just because someone gives you a specific reason they're breaking up with you doesn't mean that's actually the reason. It's possible he's decided that the two of you aren't compatible but it's also possible he decided he wasn't that attracted to you or, as Grizzly noted, he found someone he likes more than you.

The silver lining here is that he showed you his lack of character by dumping you via email so, while I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to you right now, you're better off without him.