It would be interesting to know exactly what the guy meant when he said he "didn't want to know". Was it "I prefer not to know", or "I'd be interested, but your past is none of my business so I won't pry." The latter would be my attitude in his position.

Beyond maybe "the number", I think most people (guys and girls) really don't want to know the specifics. There is just no up-side. In the best case, nothing comes of it. In the worst case, it will muck up your relationship.

@Amy, i am surprised. Given that not everybody is a gentleman, i would have advised her to have a one-on-one meeting with the two guys and tell them something along the lines: i would appreciate that you will never mention any of this at the office, or i will have to cut you balls.

"...I used to be pretty wild ..."

Chicken, meet Roost. Roost, Chicken. I'll let you two get to know each other.

Please tell us she's only worked at this place for six months. That would make this whole situation much funnier. Well, unless the "company" is a restaurant or a bar, in which case this is all pretty normal.

Good advice, Amy. But honestly, I have to fault you for your comment about corn rows. If I hadn't been posting on your blog since the inception, I'd say that was a gratuitous suck-up to the cultural appropriation bullies who insist that whites who wear cornrows are stealing from black culture and are thereby obligated to address the social injustice suffered by blacks. Never mind that mind that Bo Derek wore cornrows a full two decades before juvenile twit and cultural appropriation apprentice bully Amandla Stenberg was even born.

Also, suggesting that cornrows on a white person is bad judgment shows a certain ignorance on your part. You, unlike Stenberg, are old enough to remember Bo Derek in her heyday. She wore cornrows for the movie "10" and looked amazing doing it. She also started a trend. You think that was bad judgment? Tell her that. I'm sure she'll berate herself all the way to the bank.

Patrick, Bo Derek wearing cornrows is like Halle Berry wearing those awful chopped-off hairstyles she seems to favor. Both are so beautiful they can get away with doing anything they like with their hair, but that doesn't mean normal women can look good in those hairdos.

I don't think Bo Derek looked good in spite of those cornrows, the way you seem to think Halle Berry looks good in spite of her short hair. I thought Bo Derek was a beautiful woman with an interesting and attractive hairstyle that became her quite well. And judging by the number of women who adopted the hairstyle, I'm not alone.

You're entitled to your own personal taste, of course. But her cornrows were without a doubt a huge success. Poor judgment? Not by any objective standard available.

Besides, Amy, your views on the subject are apparently not consistent.

Patrick, cornrows/braid look better on blondes than they do on white people with dark hair, because with dark hair and white skin, well, it looks terrible.

My point there was that it wasn't some sort of racism for her to wear them. And I make the white scalp point midway through.

More -- from a more recent post:

http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/07/13/why_white_peopl.html

The real reason white people shouldn't wear cornrows, courtesy of me?

Mainly because they tend to look like shit if you've got dark hair with white scalp peeking out.

The fact remains, Amy, that isn't what you said in the column. You said "cornrows on a white person" was "poor judgment." It was a blanket condemnation of any white person in cornrows, without qualifying that perhaps a blonde white person could pull it off.

But I'm not trying to play gotcha games, Amy. I'm just trying to say that I personally know that you wouldn't capitulate to cultural appropriation bullies. It's just that that comment, to someone who's new to your column, might look like a kind of sop to the cultural appropriation thugs in light of all the fuss they're making now. They get offended when a white person wears cornrows, and you might be adding your voice to the fray, saying that it's poor judgment, especially since you didn't specify why it's poor judgment. Someone might assume you're on the thugs'side. Not my intention to offend. Just offering an observation.

Why the FUCK does Bo Derek keep getting brought up? She isn't relevant or an icon to anyone under 35. Nobody gives a shit about her.

To make whatever "cultural appropriation" point you wanna make use someone like David Beckham, Christina Aguilera or Justin Timberlake. All wore cornrows and nobody gave a shit about them.

And cornrows are ugly on white people. If you're good-looking you can stink and never shower like Brad Pitt does and it's adorable.

And seriously MUST Amy clarify something that 99% of the population wont remember a week from now?

@nico Your comment about saying "cut your balls" to someone is offensive. If you made a similar reverse statement from a man to a woman, it would be considered unacceptable.

Ppen, do we have the therapist on speed dial, by any chance? She should be.

Did we remember to take our Xanax today? If so, did the psychiatrist give us permission to take another one for those occasions when we might be...oh, I don't know...wigging out over nothing perhaps?

Take whatever steps you need, Ppen, to get a grip on yourself. We all understand. Our posts will be here when you get back.

The reason Bo Derek is brought up is precisely because she is an icon that is recognizable to anyone over 35. You see, cultural appropriation is a relatively new buzz phrase. To bring up "icons" (and I use the term loosely) like Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera is because those who bandy about this obnoxious term "cultural appropriation" would counter that it was to these relatively recent icons that the term is being applied to.

Bo Derek wore cornrows for the movie "10," which was released in 1979. So when the complaint come in that whites are engaging in "cultural appropriation" when we wear cornrows, we can point out that Bo Derek looked sensational in them 46 years ago.

Besides, as far as I know, Timberlake, Aguilera and Beckham didn't start a trend by wearing them. Bo Derek certainly did.

You know, I didn't know David Beckham ever wore cornrows. All the articles I find about him doing it seem to condemn him for it. For example, calling it one of his "ten worst fashion fails," or that he admitted he was drunk when he did it, etc.

I disagree. I think he looks damned good in them. So much for the theory that only blondes can pull it off.

So, no, I will not be complying with your demand "[t]o make whatever 'cultural appropriation' point you wanna make use someone like David Beckham, Christina Aguilera or Justin Timberlake."

I will continue to use Bo Derek precisely because she pulled it off almost five decades ago. Long before this new wave of hypersensitivity and bogus claims of "That's ours!" crept in.

And I will also point out that the cultural appropriation thugs are handling the problem from the wrong end. If they're truly that bothered by someone else's hairstyle, then that's a problem they need to address with their own therapists.

This is one weird case of shifting personal responsibility. A twelve-year-old girl wears box braids, and someone cries that it's like "psychological torture."

No sane person would think that because certain people see it as psychological torture, that it's up to the twelve-year-old girl and every other white person in the world to never, never, never, never, never wear box braids. It is up to these "certain people" to seek treatment. Total strangers do not have an obligation to cater to your mental illness. And if you're that worked by someone's hairstyle, then yes, you have a problem.

Ppen: And seriously MUST Amy clarify something that 99% of the population wont remember a week from now?

Ordinarily, no. I don't suggest that she should clarify her position on "drop-crotch pants." (For the not insignificant reason that I have no idea what those are.)

But it's being clarified now. And I think that if what she said in the column does not match up with her opinions, I think she should clarify, as should everyone else. If I write something that sounds like something I don't mean, I should clarify it.

She said, in her column, "cornrows on a white person" is an example of "poor judgment."

Now, it seems she didn't mean that. It seems that blondes can pull it off. (And David Beckham, who is not blonde, at least not usually, pulled it off just fine. I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks.)

Also, as I said before, cornrows, right now, are a hot topic, precisely because a certain vocal contingent has a seriously fucked-up idea that whites shouldn't wear them. Or if whites do wear them, then they have an obligation to address the social injustices directed towards a certain culture.

So, right now, I would say that a blanket condemnation of white people who wear cornrows was also a pretty good example of "poor judgment." It's too easily construed as agreement with the cultural appropriation thugs.

Bleah, that's what I get for writing my responses to late at night. It was thirty-six years ago, not forty-six years ago when "10" was released. Therefore it was almost four decades ago, not five.

And again, I use Bo Derek, rather than someone more recent, because her use of cornrows significantly predates all this cultural appropriation nonsense.

I won't call my therapist but I will call my brother in law.

Did you know my brother doesn't have to be married to a man to get one of those?

Since I never married (and never will; I don't give a fuck if it's legal or not, I'll die first), my only brothers-in-law come from my sisters marrying.

And I didn't realize you had such a visceral hatred of Bo Derek. I'll try not to discuss her in anything else.

Glad you're feeling better at least.

Getting back to the LW: He said he doesn't want to hear about it. Respect his wishes. Otherwise, it's going to seem like you're throwing it in his face that you've had more action than he has. Most guys hate that. If and when one of your cow orkers decides to shoot off his mouth, you can deal with it then. Otherwise, don't wave a red flag in front of the bull.

Good gawd, Patrick, go get your own White People Conrow blog and stop making A Thing about Amy having an opposing opinion.

Does this mean African American women have to stop getting their hair dyed blonde/ getting blonde weaves? After all, blonde hair is a Proud Northern European White Girl Tradition, isn't it?
/sarcoff