Try the jewelry principle. Some costly, well placed, but time-efficient gestures might suffice and make more time for sex. There's some danger of transitioning into a "cuddle zone", and ending up as too much of a nice guy.

The "cheap" flower arrangement from the grocery store works just as well as the expensive dozen roses from the florist.

Pick up a bunch along with her fave wine when you stop to get wings and a six-pack. Tell her she looks "good today" and then go watch your game.

I'd share more 'secrets' but there's an unwritten rule in play here, and we need to play fair.

I'm a 32-year-old guy, and my girlfriend has been complaining that the only time I'm cuddly or affectionate is when I want to have sex.

Have I mentioned I'm always cuddly and affectionate?

For lots of people, cuddling is important for maintaining intimacy. If my boyfriend cuddled only as a precursor to sex, I'd avoid cuddling him if I wasn't in the mood that night, to avoid leading him on and disappointing him. And having to avoid touching the person you love can destroy intimacy. ...also it's just sad.

"... the only time I'm cuddly or affectionate is when I want to have sex."

Try skipping a night and see if things are better.

Makes me think of something the incredibly boorish Andrew Dice Clay used to include in his routines.

"[imitating a nagging, irritating woman] Why won't you hold me? Why won't you talk to me?"

"[in his own voice] 'Cuz I'm done."

So, in a nutshell, post-coital cuddling is reassurance. I just knew I liked it. But I never understood why.

I've been seeing someone recently after a lengthy, self imposed drought. He lives a few hours away, so the dates consisted of an overnight stay. I love that we cuddle and have make out sessions but haven't moved beyond that yet. He went away on an extended vacation and while I know it's too soon to miss someone, he really had my attention and thoughts. The cuddling was just that, enjoying each other, getting to know one another, until we know it's time to progress forward. I love that he asked to see me the next free weekend available upon his return. I can understand LW's frustration, it might feel like her guy is only after that kind of intimacy, not the kind that falls into two people just wanting to be affectionate and intimate without the thought, that someone might just want to get laid already.

Woops, meant LW's lady...

He doesn't see the problem. Let's make it simple. She wants cuddling, he doesn't particularly. He doesn't think he should have to because it's his foreplay.

Now, maybe he doesn't get that nobody says he has to stop using it as foreplay. He could just add in some other cuddle time too. Like maybe AFTER sex.

But he doesn't care enough to think, "She is telling me what she wants, and it's a pretty simple thing, maybe I'll try it."

Because it's all about him? He's to lazy to think of another method of foreplay? He doesn't know how to say, "You look so hot tonight," as an initiation?

Sorry, I don't usually get so worked up about this stuff, but his question just reeks of apathy toward the girlfriend.

@Shannon,

Yes and...

A lot of girls are more than happy to have the emotional cookies but prefer to have them on the cheap.

So they will take the hand holding, the hugs, the spooning, the breakfast in bed but when it comes to...you know...reciprocating, the exchange rate of hours of cuddle is worse than the Cambodian Riel to the USD (1 Riel gets you $.00025 if you are interested)"Is that ALL you think of?" (because wanting a lot of sex with a partner is a bad thing?)

Because boys want signaling just as much as girls. "I feel your commitment when you just cuddle and don't demand anything from me."

"Well, I feel your commitment when you share your body with me. There are not 'take backs' from that."

So...he might be apathetic. He might also be fighting a rear guard action against a woman trying to clamp down on a sexual activity now that she feels comfortable enough to do so.

Just offering an alternative theory.

Wow,it's amazing how some people can miss the point when it's so obvious to the rest of us.
El Denso, she's not complaining that you want to cuddle before sex...she's complaining that the ONLY time you want to cuddle is before sex, and that you don't also cuddle at other times.

But Erica then he couldn't use the remote to switch channels on the telly!

Maybe if she offered him more sex, he'd want to cuddle more.

Why is the transaction always one way?

It's not a crime for LW to only want to cuddle before sex. Likewise, it's not a crime for his girlfriend to want to cuddle at additional times. It sounds like the two of them have at least discussed their different desires. So now they should either try to meet each other's needs or break up and find other people who are willing to meet those needs.