I've always thought that intuitions were actually rational thought done on a subconscious level. Your intuition might have arrived at a conclusion without your awareness of all the steps it took you to get there. Your subconscious did all the necessary plodding from point A to point Z, and flashed your conscious mind with the answer.

Rather like Dustin Hoffman's character solved complex equations in "Rain Man." He took all the necessary steps, but couldn't tell you how he got there.

But in his case, it sounds more like wishful thinking. She's good in bed, she's hot, so of course her aspirations to be the next Mother Theresa must be sincere!

There is pretty good research that your intuitions about people are based on past experiences with relatives. This isnt necessarily a good thing. Because as Amy points out, its not based on rational choice. It is actually based on how comfortable you are around someone.

If you had lets say a negletful parent your intuition is going to excuse the early signs of a negletful partner because that is the environment you grew up in and it is familiar to you. Familiar is comfortable so you will be drawn to that person.

If you had a parent that was consistent you would never stick around because the early signs of a negletful partner are unfamiliar to you so your intuition would say there is something wrong about this.

Yes some people are able to escape it (usually a divorce later) but as cliche as it sounds you end up being drawn to recreating your family dynamics.

I bet this guy had a shitty mom.

"...but she's determined to change."

If ands and buts were candy and nuts...

Enjoy it while you can, LW. My experience sides with your friends, past performance is the best predictor future performance. And waiting for someone to change is just painful and exasperating. Just don't make any promises you'll regret later if/when things start to go badly.

We call this "magic p*ssy." He's so under this lady's spell he can't even see what's coming when it's glaringly obvious.

Time will tell - as in a couple of years, and a couple of good character challenges later.

So, while waiting to learn if her so said desire to change manifests itself as *actually* changing, enjoy the sex, and keep your options open.

Ok I'm not seeing an issue here with the given details. Two bad marriages could be youthful stupidity. And yes two if she was real young and in a bad home I can see her marrying guy one to get away from home and guy 2 to get away from guy 1. When you say promiscuity do you mean adultery or just going through a good time girl phase? The only thing that might raise a red flag long term is the debt thing. You'd have to be specific about that one. Filling for bankruptcy post divorce? That's not something you can legitimately hold against her. You are now just starting over in say your mid 30s (or later) no skill trying to go to school. However you ass hat of an ex didn't dispose of the house correctly it went into foreclosure and you are sitting on 200k debt which gets split equally at a divorce. You have no way to repay that debt.

Now the flip side. 2 bad marriages could be she vampired the two ex hubbies. Promiscuity means that the only guy in town she isn't with is th eone she's married too. Running away from debt means after bleeding the ex's dry she got one or both to borrow money from Henry Ham Fist and the local bodega. Then left them holding the debt and broken knee caps.

As far as the friends. Well again not enough info. Wife had two friends that did their damnedest to get her to leave me. One was an alcholic whos own marriage failed due to mommy dearest issues (like snuggling mommy in bed). The other had a hubby who used her money to buy negotiable affection. They both had a lot to gain from her becoming single. One a free therapist for his disabled brother and a drinking buddy. The other a bff for girls night out as her life spiraled into the pitts of hell.

As far as intuition I'd say it's your life. More than likely this has more to do with the affection you feel for her. She makes you happy, she has as yet given YOU no reason to distrust her. However you obviously want to be on the look out for certain behavior patterns. She starts wearing designer duds, hiding purchases etc. should be a huge red flag. As it would be with any partner. Same goes for running around. The science is pretty divided on the link between partner count and future infidelity.

Long and short. She's fun and you are all having a good time don't complicate this and let it happen. However her "but she's determined to change" might just be wishful thinking and/or smoke blowing. Go forward as one should with any relationship eye's open.

LW, the answer to your question is no. Your intuition is not trustworthy. Your intuition is a scheming, lying son of a bitch. And it's in cahoots with your genitals. There are few things in the human condition more dangerous.

And her intuition probably isn't trustworthy either... reflecting on what Ppen said, we tend to seek out relationships that fit the pattern we are familiar with, even if that pattern is dysfunctional. And even when one recognizes this and vows to do something about it, it's not so easy; it generally takes some combination of serious therapy and self-study and reflection. Someone who is addicted to heroin does not just wake up one morning and say, "Oh, I'm just going to stop today." It's not that simple. She may indeed be attempting to turn over a new leaf, and finding you might be something she is doing to try to break out of her old habits. But it's also possible that she simply sees you as an enabler, especially if she has a pattern of seeking out enablers.

So what you're looking for is: what exactly is she doing to change her pattern? Is she going to therapy? Is she doing any self-reflection, spiritual study, anything like that? Is she keeping any notes on her progress? If she isn't putting in the work, what she says she's going to do doesn't matter. And the same thing applies to you, if you have a pattern of seeking out women like this.

I have a female friend (not someone who was ever a girlfriend or a lover) who is a very talented and good-hearted woman, and I love her dearly. But she engages in practically every form of self-destructive behavior that humans have ever invented. (Every time I hear Sia's "Chandelier", it reminds me of her.) I tried to help her out one time, and it blew up and resulted in several strained friendships. Now, even though I still love her, I keep my distance. Don't let yourself be dragged down by a sinking ship.

Enjoy your friend. Enjoy the sex. Enjoy the positive time you spend together.
Just...don't...rescue...her. Lest ye become victim #3!

Don't move in with her. Don't let her have a key to your home. Don't let her borrow your car. It's probably too late to not let her know your real name. Have fun while it lasts.

Shw is runninb from debt? Or she has debt and is on a payment plan?