Ladies Who Hunch
This hot guy I met online lied about his height. We got together, and I'm like 3 inches taller than he is. That doesn't bother me, but I'm worried that his height is a source of insecurity for him (since he lied about it on his profile).
--Skyscraper
You can't always find your one and only, but you can sometimes find your three-quarters and only.
It isn't a surprise that this guy, in calculating his height, added in the vintage ottoman he was standing on when he took the photo. While there are breast men, leg men, butt men, and even toe men, in female preferences for men's appearance, across cultures, there's one thing that really, really matters, and it's height. (Guilty: I've joked about getting one of those amusement park signs to post over my bed, "Must be this tall to ride this ride.")
Research by evolutionary social psychologist Gert Stulp suggests that women, in general, find it "unacceptable" to be taller than the man they're with and prefer to be substantially shorter (ideally a whole 8 inches shorter; so, say, 5'6" to a man's 6'2"). As for why women evolved to prefer taller men, though being tall doesn't always mean being stronger (and thus better able to protect a woman), tallness points to physical health. (If a man's body is riddled with parasites, his metabolic resources get invested in battling the little buggers instead of upward growth.)
In modern times, some men try to cheat their way taller, with dating profile fudgery, shoes with built-in "lifts," and strong hair gel (the essential ingredient in a towering pompadour). However, a short man isn't necessarily short on self-worth. According to Stulp and his colleagues, shorter men's dissatisfaction with their height seems linked to the general preference by women for taller men. This makes sense, considering how bad it feels to know your partner doesn't find you all that attractive. But since that isn't a problem here, let him know. And you might also keep in mind that good things do, as they say, "come in small packages": gum, Shetland ponies...and, hey, Ron Jeremy is a short dude. (Uh, not all over.)








I recognize my own privilege in this regard; I'm 6'3" (without ottoman), and rarely encounter a taller woman. When I do, she's got to be so tall that it's kind of a novelty for me, and she's used to being taller than everyone anyway, so it isn't an issue.
In college, I dated a woman who was 6'1". She rarely wore heels, but when she did, she was taller than me. Neither of us had a problem with it. ;)
Grey Ghost at October 18, 2017 5:28 AM
A few years ago I found myself standing at a urinal in the men's room when in walks Ron Jeremy. The Hedgehog himself saddles up to the urinal next to me. So guys, what do you do?
a) strike up awkward conversation
b) stare straight ahead
c) meat gaze the guy
I think you just have to try and sneak a peek of the most famous living penis in the world.
smurfy at October 19, 2017 9:16 AM
One of the dating gurus (maybe David D) related how a famous horse racing jockey had no trouble with women: He'd tell them "I'm a lot taller when I stand on my wallet." That tells you what actually matters to most women.
jefe at October 19, 2017 7:37 PM
According to Stulp and his colleagues, shorter men's dissatisfaction with their height seems linked to the general preference by women for taller men. This makes sense, considering how bad it feels to know your partner doesn't find you all that attractive. But since that isn't a problem here, let him know.
I agree that it would be good for her to tell him that his height isn't a problem for her but that doesn't necessarily mean he's going to believe it. It depends on what his past experiences were. If he's been with taller women before who also told him his Napoleonic stature didn't matter and then they dumped him, he probably is insecure about his height and it will probably be hard for him to believe her. Not impossible, but hard.
JD at October 19, 2017 10:32 PM
Might of been because of search criteria... made he is 5'7 knows most women look for 5'8" or whatever, so he won't show up, but is confident a woman into dudes who are 5'8" would go for him if he only showed up in her search
NicoleK at October 26, 2017 12:10 PM
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