What should you do when a man you've been dating stops texting or otherwise responding? We had an amazing time when we were last together. I can't believe he just isn't interested. Should I call? Drop by? What do you suggest?
--Hurt

As a woman, there's sometimes good reason for you to chase a man, like that he's good-looking and funny and has also stolen your wallet.

A man who's interested in you will not need chasing. In fact, if he's really into you, he will chase you like a dog chases a squirrel...a squirrel wearing a tiny jumpsuit made entirely out of bacon. Unfortunately, human psychology is particularly bad at helping us detach from lost causes, motivating us to lead with our ego and emotion rather than reason. For example, we're prone to keep putting time, energy, and and/or money into something based on what we've already invested -- what we've already "sunk" into it. This is called the sunk cost fallacy, and it's irrational behavior because our initial outlay is gone. The rational approach is to base any further investment on how likely the thing is to pay off in the future.

Cut your losses. Come up with an ego-soothing explanation for his disappearance -- like that he was kidnapped from the mall parking lot and never seen again. Crazy as that advice might sound, research on memory by psychologist Elizabeth Loftus actually finds we are quick to turn our malarkey, especially our repeated malarkey, into our reality, i.e., what we believe. Also, quite frankly, there's a good chance he actually was kidnapped -- though probably just by some other woman's butt cleavage.

For pages and pages of "science-help" from me, buy my latest book, "Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence." It lays out the PROCESS of transforming to live w/confidence.