It's Always About Naomi
So much of Naomi Wolf's pontificating about the way things are for everybody is really about the way things are -- or should be -- for Naomi. Virginia Postrel notes that Wolf's Vanity Fair piece on Angelina Jolie is brilliant -- but not in the way the author intended. Virginia writes on Deep Glamour:
Most revealing is the way Wolf, a divorced mother of two, projects her own desires onto Jolie's (short-lived) status as single mom. She completely ignores the standard tabloid narrative, an anti-feminist storyline casting Jolie as the womanly mother figure against Jennifer Aniston, the careerist punished for her insufficiently feminine ambition. Instead, Wolf reads Jolie's story as the triumph of the Single Mom as Ideal.Then there is the plane. Women are so used to being dependent on others (certainly on men) for where they go, metaphorically, and how they get there. Flying a private plane is the classic metaphor for choosing your own direction; usually, that is a guy thing to do, yet there was Jolie, with her aviator glasses on, taking flying lessons so she could blow the mind of her four-year-old son. That is the ultimate in single-mom chic: Even before she had reconstructed a nuclear (or postnuclear) family with a dad at the head of it, she was reframing single motherhood from a state of lack or insufficiency to a glamorous, unfettered lifestyle choice. Paradoxically, having done so, she makes the choice of a man to help her raise her kids seem like one option among many for a self-directed woman rather than either a completion of a woman or a capitulation.This much-mocked paragraph takes aviator glamour -- which is, in fact, a long-standing element of Jolie's appeal (see the magnificent photos Annie Leibovitz did for Vogue) -- and turns it into a story about what Naomi Wolf wants. A plane becomes a symbol not of general human freedom, mastery, and escape but of "single-mom chic." Jolie rescues the aviatrix archetype from the inconveniently married-and-childless Amelia Earhart.
I'm reminded of my late friend Cathy Seipp's great take in reason on Wolf's book on becoming a mommy:
Even deadlier was the reaction last fall to Naomi Wolf's Misconceptions, a mesmerizingly nutty polemic about what she calls "the hidden truths behind giving birth in America today." (That's compared to the sheer delight of giving birth in the rest of the world, of course.) The bland trade journal Publishers Weekly, which hardly has an anti-feminist ax to grind, irritatedly dismissed the book as "a weirdly out-of-touch bid for personal attention."Now that the standard polite flip-through of the neighbors' hospital baby pictures means viewing a bloody color close-up of baby's emerging head and mom's genitalia, you may wonder just what truths about giving birth are still hidden. But perhaps you had no idea that pregnant women "in our culture" (to use Wolf's favorite phrase) often have Cesareans, even when they'd hoped not to; that they are typically exhausted and sometimes feel like they're losing their minds; that new moms still get up more than new dads to deal with howling infants in the middle of the night; or that maternity clothes tend to be unstylish, with a cruel lack of selection in Western wear.
Yes, she's serious about that one. "You could not be a cowgirl and a mother," Wolf observes glumly, describing another day "mourning the loss of the young woman I had been" while rifling the racks at the mall. "You could not be a heartbreaker and a mother....You could not, in our culture, easily pair motherhood with many other alluring archetypes."
As opposed to what other culture? Are there really maternity shops selling Annie Get Your Gun outfits in Iraq or India? But Wolf remains starry-eyed about the obstetrical wonders of the non-American world. In Europe and Belize, she instructs one annoyed obstetrician, episiotomies are less necessary because midwives massage the perineal area with warm oil. There's hardly anywhere on the planet, in fact (except the bad old U.S.A.), that Wolf doesn't imagine as a garden of perineum-massaging delights.
Is it just me, or is Naomi presenting some pretty disturbing fetishes here?
brian at June 20, 2009 6:01 AM
Thanks for the link, Amy, and for digging up Cathy's old piece. Naomi Wolf obviously never spent any time at the National Cowgirl Museum in Fort Worth.
Virginia at June 20, 2009 6:18 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I don't WANT anyone massaging my perinium with warm oil. Ick.
momof4 at June 20, 2009 6:40 AM
She's a whiny little victim, isn't she? I don't know how anyone can read her stuff.
Chrissy at June 20, 2009 7:14 AM
"In Europe and Belize, she instructs one annoyed obstetrician, episiotomies are less necessary because midwives massage the perineal area with warm oil."
That sounds like something out of a Florence King satire. Be sure to check out the adventures with the Birthing Bucket in When Sisterhood Was in Flower.
old rpm daddy at June 20, 2009 7:34 AM
I'm surprised that Postrel bothered commenting. Wolf doesn't seem to be doing well, psychologically. I'd thought that there was some tacit agreement, among commentators, to politely ignore her.
Jack at June 20, 2009 8:20 AM
Man, who would have thought that motherhood is, like, important and stuff? To the point where it overshadows being a cowgirl or a heartbreaker.
ErikZ at June 20, 2009 8:31 AM
"massage the perineal area with warm oil..." Isn't that what they do in porn before the anal scene?
Personally, I haven't really felt any urges to dress up like a cowgirl since I found out I was pregnant. And what does a "pregnant heartbreaker" look like? (I had to put longer shorts on before I went to a barbeque last night because I looked like a knocked-up tramp.)
ahw at June 20, 2009 8:45 AM
For an example of why maternal mortality rates in those colorful cultures Ms Wolf is so fond of are over a 100 times higher than in the US, go here:
http://southasia.oneworld.net/todaysheadlines/nepals-confined-women-want-freedom
"You could not be a heartbreaker and a mother"
Does she have the faintest idea of how many MILF sites there are on the internet?
Martin at June 20, 2009 8:48 AM
"a garden a perineum-massaging delights"
This is the wittiest thing I've read in weeks. (Sorry, Amy!)
Tyler at June 20, 2009 9:07 AM
wait, wait, wait. Naomi WANTS to be a heartbreaker? Back when my ex was preggers with #1 son, denim for mothers was EVERYWHERE. Not saying it was stylish, but it seems that moms would rather be comfortable than anything, style being relative.
Anyhow, Many of the things Wolf thinks are so amazing about non-western birth, are in fact available in the US, and my kids were birthed with several of them, so she is utterly full of it. Warm oil? The doctor suggested it, handed me the bottle and left. Duh.
Oh, wait, I forgot that doesn't fit the narrative. :massive eyeroll:
SwissArmyD at June 20, 2009 9:11 AM
God, I miss Cathy Seipp's writing. Wasn't there some talk of releasing a collection of her writing in book form? If that ever happens, Amy I hope you let us all here know!
BerthaMinerva at June 20, 2009 9:29 AM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/06/its-always-abou.html#comment-1654890">comment from BerthaMinervaI talked to Charlotte Allen about it by e-mail, about talking to people at National Review. Somebody would have to pull the pieces together and write a proposal and sell the book. I can't do this now -- struggling in the light of what's going on at newspapers...have to write my next book (I've started) and prepare to promote this one (get chapters in magazines, etc.). But, my book will be dedicated to Cathy, who named me Revengerella, the title I wanted for my book, and how I refer to myself a few times inside. I wrote a good deal of the proposal and book while with her at her house. Really miss her, always love being reminded of her. Loved that Virginia's piece on Wolf reminded me of that great cowgirl clothing remark of Cathy's.
Amy Alkon
at June 20, 2009 9:42 AM
...episiotomies are less necessary because midwives massage the perineal area with warm oil."
Hey! Nobody massaged my perineal area with warm oil! (But I didn't need an episiotmy with either child anyway.)
Maybe it was because I still had my cowgirl boots on...
o.O
Flynne at June 20, 2009 10:08 AM
"wait, wait, wait. Naomi WANTS to be a heartbreaker?"
Its an interesting sight, to see a pregnant woman with hip huggers and a belly shirt on.
Naomi's next book might well be "Tantric Taint Massage".
Sio at June 20, 2009 10:09 AM
> That sounds like something out
> of a Florence King satire.
Flo King is wonderful.
Youse guys remember the boneless hand thing?
I maintain that nobody who who wore hair as Naomi Wolf did in the 1980's has ever found happiness... And certainly not enlightenment!
Crid [CommentCrid@gmail.com] at June 20, 2009 10:38 AM
Damn you Sio, I came here to say that this country suffers from a taint on perineal massage.
jerry at June 20, 2009 10:53 AM
I think everyone should learn to fly an airplane, and I was taught by the most amazing instructor ever. She had been in the 1932 Olympics, ferried P-51s during WWII, won the powder puff derby, taught at least one future astronaut how to fly, started up an aviation school which she led for at least 20 years, taught some of our earliest women airline pilots how to fly, and,
was a staunch Reaganite and for other reasons would have been drummed out of today's modern feminist corp who demand that modern feminist women walk a very narrow line with respect to their politics and other views.
This is one reason why modern feminism has such a taint.
/had to make one more taint crack.
//I guess that's another one.
jerry at June 20, 2009 10:59 AM
ROFLMAO. Brilliant.
Jeff at June 20, 2009 11:51 AM
"this country suffers from a taint on perineal massage"
Tain't necessarily so.
In fact, it's so commonly performed by a parent that it's referred to as the perennial parental perineal massage.
Ok, fine. I'll go have more coffee and come up with something better.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at June 20, 2009 1:50 PM
Dude.... hurry. IJS
Crid [CommentCrid@gmail.com] at June 20, 2009 5:08 PM
What's sad is that if Wolf ever went to Boot Barn or Connelly's Saddlery (in my hometown in Montana) you can buy Western maternity wear. Why you would want to is another deal altogether, of course.
And what would Angelina Jolie have to say to Wolf? Wolf's an educated emoter, Jolie's an instinctive actress with an extremely sharp business sense.
KateC at June 20, 2009 5:24 PM
I would find Naomi Wolf to be hilarious if it wasn't so obvious that she's mentally ill, which is tragic considering she probably has custody of her children.
Karen at June 20, 2009 6:05 PM
"Dude.... hurry. IJS"
I've got nothin' here. Nada. Zip.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at June 21, 2009 4:04 PM
@Crid: "I maintain that nobody who who wore hair as Naomi Wolf did in the 1980's has ever found happiness... And certainly not enlightenment!"
Oh, that's some serious 80s hair, Crid. She looks like she's on her way to a Loverboy concert.
old rpm daddy at June 22, 2009 4:37 AM
Yeah she was a real Lady of the 80s, ORD. A bona fide Queen of the Broken Hearts. I bet she was Lovin Every Minute of It.
K. Sorry. I just had to.
(I gotta do it my way
or no way at aaaallllll.)
Don't hate me.
o.O
Flynne at June 23, 2009 2:10 PM
Anybuddy still in here?
Wanna know how the 80s could have been even worse?
Commies, that's how.
Crid [CommentCrid@gmail.com] at June 23, 2009 11:30 PM
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