The ones I hate the most are the women too prissy to sit, so they squat, and dribble all over the seat, and don't clean up. Please, if you're a stander, wipe up after yourself, first with paper and then a quit swipe with that antibiotic stuff. If you're that prissy you probably have it in your purse already.

At the local Caribou's, whenever I tell them the men's room is out of towels or soap, the ladies behind the counter always thank me. The men, one said, almost never mention when the restroom needs tending to. Female customers, on the other hand, don't hesitate to let them know. I wonder if that's true everywhere.

The sprinklers amaze me, too. Leave a nice little present for the person behind you. Because you can.

If you are going to stand up to pee, lift the damn seat! Boys are taught to do this, girls should be too.

Just a guess but...laziness?

I think we presume much when we presume the previous occupant even noticed the state of the toilet paper. I'm always amazed at what people miss. I'm not defending them: I think that level of distractedness is awful. Just thought I'd throw another wrinkle on the fire.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Although, one time I was in a Mexican restaurant when this happened. The only restaurant employee I could find who was available was a bus boy. I told him, "You guys need more toiletpaper in the womens restroom". He just stared at me. "Hablas ingles?" I say, "No" he said. Okey dokey.

So I try it in Spanish, not that I think speaking in Spanish should be preferred here, but at the same time, I wasn't gonna hash that one out at the time so when some unsuspecting lady would have been left hanging in the wind (pun intended).
(I speak Spanish, but not terribly well and I don't know a few words - like for instance "tolietpaper").

So I say to the guy "Ustedes necissitan papel para el culo en el bano" Which is all I could think of - the translation was "You guys need paper for the ASS in the bathroom". He looked at me and walked away laughing his ass off, but he did come back with the tolietpaper. Every time he passed by my table, he would shake his head giggling - "Papel para el culo".

Later on I told my grandmother what I had said - or rather asked her what I said. She could not stop laughing. She said tolietpaper is "papel para el bano". Paper for the bathroom. And culo (ass) is a lot more vulgar in Spanish than in English (I never knew this).

Oh well, no good deed goes unpunished. :D

Hilarious. Great story.

Well, Feebie, you probably made that busboy's day, that's for sure!

At least you were considerate!
I liked your phrase.

I always try to tell when there are issues in the bathrooms. Half the time they thank me. Half the time they give that bored "whatever" look and say they'll look into it. And then don't move one inch from where they are.

I always lift the seat up when I pee in a public restroom, albeit gingerly, because who knows who was there before me.

But did they flush? That bothers me more than the dribblers. It's possible that the last person in the restroom is just now telling the staff there's no paper, but what kind of jerk doesn't flush after themselves?

Although, when I do run across someone's left-over landmines I tend to paraphrase Right Said Fred and sing to myself, "I'm too sexy for my poo, too sexy for my poo, too sexy..."

Two things to consider:

1. Maybe someone DID inform those in charge and they haven't yet replaced the paper.

2. When the toilet doesn't look as though it's been flushed, it's possible that someone DID try - but it's out of order. I've seen that happen. (Again, maybe the staff hasn't had time to put up the "Out of Order" sign in the last ten minutes.)

On one occasion, I heard a woman telling her friend 'I don't flush because I never touch anything in a public bathroom.' So she didn't flush or wash her hands.

She probably didn't wipe, either, for fear of touching the toilet paper.

I haven't been able to cultivate fear of public potties. Ah, the things I've seen, the places I've been! The woods, porta-potties, outhouses! Porta potties at construction sites! The horror, the horror....

What I don't get are the people who come to work or go out to a nightclub seemingly just to take a dump. I do my business before I leave the house. My place of work actually had to put up signs saying, please, out of courtesy to your fellow employees, FLUSH COMPLETELY...for the love of God. I told the librarians here they need signs like that too. It's so disgusting that I've taken to telling others walking in, it wasn't me left that mess!

Pigs.

Not everyone can time their poo as well as you.

But everyone can flush

Feebie, I laughed out loud, wiped my eyes, and then laughed some more when I read your story. My inner thirteen year old is still giggling...

Oh and ladies, If you don't use the toilet seat, put it up! You can even use toilet paper (or papel para el culo...snort) in your hand for protection when moving it if you are too skeeved about toilet seat cooties.

@carol: When I come to work on weekends, the mens room on my floor (6th) is messed up, with the toilets full of paper and God knows what else (the urinals are OK). When I have to do No. 2, therefore, I go down to the 5th floor.

Some people are just fucking pigs.

Not to do with toilets, but I had a "please have some consideration for the person who is here after you" moment today. I was on the phone with my dad, who went to the grocery store today. He was checking the eggs and his first carton had some broken ones. So he put the carton back and grabbed a new one. He said there was no employee nearby, but I had to ask how hard it was to carry that carton of eggs up to the front so no one else would have to do it (or get home with broken eggs). Not a horrible infraction, I know, but you have to go to the register anyway, so why not bring the defective product? Fortunately, Publix is really good about checking their eggs before putting them out, so this hardly ever happens.

I have to agree with mpetrie here, too. I cannot fathom how people make such a fucking mess in public restrooms.

The weirdest inconsiderate thing that ever happened to me in a public restroom was when I was going to see Mamma Mia! at TPAC a few months ago. I was in the stall, minding my own business, when a the tiny little trash can falls off the wall and a mini wine bottle shatters on the floor next to my feet (I was wearing boots, thank God, or I'd have definitely been cut, which would have been a whole load of paperwork for the theater, I'm sure). Which brings to mind some questions:

1)Who is drinking wine in the stall?
2)Why was the best place to throw it away in those flimsy wall trash cans?
3)How fucking hard would it have been to put it in the regular trash can in the bathroom?

Janitorial was on the ball though, because as soon as I told the downstairs desk that there was broken glass on the floor, they went right over. And, yes, I did pick up the large pieces of glass and had my mom stand guard making sure no one used that stall until it could be cleaned up.

"Feebie, I laughed out loud, wiped my eyes, and then laughed some more when I read your story. My inner thirteen year old is still giggling..."

Wow, Janet - that made my day. Thank you.

The follow up story to this was that my grandmother (after we spoke) turned around and called our family in Argentina. They changed my family nickname from "Flaca" (skinny) to "Cula", affectionately...I hope.

Feebie, your capitalization of ASS in your first post reminds me of Betty White on SNL. I keep saying "Paper for the ASS!" to myself in that voice. Hee hee.

I'll spare you all by NOT posting a picture my nephew took in a series of photos I'll call "Twilight in Seattle".
I don't know what possessed him to capture it, but it was stomach churning- a disaster in the men's room. Apparently they make adult diapers decorated with cartoon characters. I guess there was no attempt to clean it up.
What's really strange is that some very prissy, meticulous people will trash a public bathroom or any public area, in a way they wouldn't think of at home. You can't judge a slob by his veneer.

I once worked at a fancy dept store.the large public restrooms were well maintained, even having maintainence people stationed there. When they were off it seemed the slobs arrived and trashed the place . A presence helps to keep areas clean and never ran out of toliet tissue.They also did well in tips.
Incidently the best restrooms were in the basement for employees.The restrooms were old and decrepit looking but were cleaned twice a day.

Something that drives me insane-
The majority of women's restrooms, no matter where, have the hooks removed from inside the door, so there is no place to hang a purse, backpack, package, etc. Instead you have the choice of putting it on the filthy floor, or hanging it around your neck.
Is there some type of international squad that travels around, ripping the hooks off? Maybe they think we'll hang ourselves?

My pet peeve vis a vis the shithouse for men. Why is it that some guys drop their load and then sit there for eternity savoring the aroma of something that they just accomplished.
My guess as to why they do not flush after dropping their projectile is that they are afraid of getting water on their butt. I figure that any organ capable of permeating everything and everyone with a 50 yard radius could certainly handle a bit of H20.
When I worked at a large corporation everyone from the lowliest of low to managing directors were guilty of this odious offense.

Does anyone have change for a $5?

I screwed a guy in the ass at this very toilet.

In Japan, when you're walking around in the shopping districts, you'll run into people offering you packets of tissues. You want to take them, because those are the only toilet paper you are going to see in most public bathrooms. Which, by the way, are WCs, toilets, or "hand washing places." Because the bathtub is in a different room, unless you are staying at a western style hotel.

The lesson on the porcelain slit trench style of toilet will be held on a later date. Suffice it to say, not all westerners can hit the hole on their first attempt.

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