Great post Amy! I've always worked in straight male dominated fields but it turns out this year I'm switching into a female/gay male dominated field. I'm going into the makeup biz, turns out I'm really good at product research, branding and well I'm a self trained makeup artist. I would have never in a billion trillion years guessed I would be in the makeup biz. It just happened that a hobby turned into something more. Friends persuaded me and well here I am making the move.

By the way I'm really really good at brows. Another obsession. My therapist says I'm split in half, one side is ultra feminine and the other ultra male. I'm getting a muscle car soon too!

Had I the cash, I'd do nothing but audit college classes, I'd pay for the ones with cool lab time though

As for my advice?

YOu have to do something that will cover your bills, and if it cant be something you enjoy make sure it is something you can tolerate and gives you the free time you need.

Be warned though, most hot chicks wont fuck the martail arts master who works as a night janitior and cant buy them dozens of $5 bar drinks

Said Lujlp: "YOu have to do something that will cover your bills, and if it cant be something you enjoy make sure it is something you can tolerate and gives you the free time you need."

And that's terrific advice. A couple other bits I would add:

- First, how are you framing your dream? Are you saying to yourself, "I want to be a famous novelist" or "I want to write novels and see them published?" Those are two different dreams; the first implies being something, while the second implies doing something.

- Second, are you ready to pay the price? Even with enormous talent and luck, pursuing one's dream can be a lot of work, with lots of crashing, burning, rejection, and poverty along the way (which underscores the importance of Lujlp's advice above). If you're willing to endure all that, then definitely go for it.

I always tell my kids to pursue their dreams. Reality is though that you have to be able to support yourself while you do it. My son will be 19 and has a band. I support his dream. He works a part-time job, goes to college, and plays in his band. Its not an easy business to get in and he decided to take some classes for studio recording. As long as they aren't married and have no kids, life is their own to chase any passion they want.

Marital arts or engineering? why not both?

You can always find work as an engineer. And being a martial arts expert can be useful there, too. When some idiot suggests cutting corners, you can put him in a head lock until they approve doing things correctly.

This is an easier question for women, as they aren't going to see their options constrained as severely by foregoing affluence and stability. For a young man who anticipates wanting a family, I'd advise looking at any risky or low status calling as a sideline.

Gotta agree with the subtext of "curb your enthusiasm if you're a guy" that runs through some of the comments. However:

1) Many Americans are learning - or will shortly thanks to Nobama - that you can live a good life on less. For various reasons - such as my wife wanting to be a stay-home mom in a 2-income society - we am living much more simply since moving to Israel than we would in the states. I have a nice small mortgage that lets me sleep at night.

2) The economic question is related to the "famous writer/published writer" dichotomy RPM mentioned: external vs. internal motivation and satisfaction. You can blow a lot of money (=time) pleasing an imaginary "everybody" instead of yourself.

3) Presenting a modest financial outlook is a great way to repel the kinds of women who can make life hell for a man. The high upkeep gals just aren't worth it.

Joseph Campbell said "Do what you love and the money will come." Which I always interpreted as meaning that if one does what makes one happy, the amount of money that will flow in will make one happier than any multiple of that amount doing something that makes one miserable.
It's one of the reasons there are those stories about lawyers quitting the law for something as "inconsequential" as, say becoming a waiter.

Of course if one's "aficion" changes over time, it makes life more problematic.

If you were to ditch it all to pursue some out-of-reach passion, what would it be? What stops you from doing it?

I don't know if I'd really like it, but I think building an airplane would be a challenge. However, everything always costs more and takes longer than I think, so I might not actually stay interested long enough to finish it. When I retire, maybe, unless I ditch it all for a condo in Hawaii and surfing lessons. Or move to Japan and become fluent.

What stops me? Time and money. Plus, I'm not sure I want to live in Japan again. No matter who you are, life is about trade offs.

When I was young, I thought it would be neat to join the Marines and see the world. I did and it was, but that got old. I wanted to earn a black belt, and I did. I really can't think of much I'd change, which makes me old, boring, and happy.

My only advice to young people would be to be nice to old people, because you'll be them some day. Besides, they might know karate.

I have a son who is in his senior year of college- studying to become an engineer. He is working an internship and is pretty much self-supporting. I have another son who dropped out of college to become a mixed martial arts fighter. He has been working a retail job on the side in order to make ends meet. It turns out, he is quite good at the MMA stuff and has a great shot at making a career of it. I fully support both of their choices and encourage them to follow their dreams.

Having land (yet still being near my friends) and raising all my own food animals and plants and maybe going to farmers markets and having a booth. I think it'd be very hard work and satisfying in a really basic way to me. I like to be physically tired at the end of the day.

Brazil? Not Argentina?

Teaching and videogames. It's not quite as off the wall as it sounds. The theory of "fun" for videogames has a lot of the same elements as a good educational experience - learning patterns, working at the limit of your abilities, the "aha" moment, etc.

Fortunately the edutainment field can be very lucrative. I need to finish my bachelor's degree and get some "field" experience and then I'm off and running.

I'd buy a hobby farm and/or study anthropology.
The farm is a resonable goal, which Husband and I agree on and are starting to plan. We may have the opportunity to buy my great-grandparents' farm in east-central Texas. (My mom's family were Czech farmers who settled near College Station.) I think we might pay little enough that it can be our "country house" while we live full-time in Austin.

Grown-up responsibilities are what's stopping me from persuing any type of anthro studies... I have a degree in history and mass communications, so I'd have to start over. I also don't speak any foreign language (except for a bit of first-semester German), so going on digs and working in a foreign country is out of the question. Oh, and then there's the toddler- Can't really leave her and daddy to fend for themselves. Plus, from an econonmic standpoint, it doesn't make sense. If we're going to devote the time and resources required for me to persue another degree, it's going to have to be law school or an MBA. (Unless Husband's next venture is an insane success and my income isn't needed at all.)

If you want to pursue your dreams, one of the first things you should do is develop a thick skin. A vast army of naysayers will spring up and tell you it is impractical, silly, or immoral. Or they will make sure to tell you how you are completely unfit for making the dream a reality. You will hear how you are not smart enough, persistent enough, aggressive enough, whatever.

Thank them for their opinions and go do what you want.

My passion is raising my son to be a man, and raising him with confidence and wisdom. It is incredibly fulfilling to watch him grow up.

At 45 though, I am in a period of career change, and lost in outer space about where to turn next.

I wish the best for everyone as they pursue their dreams.

Eric, I have no magic beans to offer you, but I wish you the best of luck.

What I'd like to do is develop an exotic power source that'd enable me to manipulate gravity.

You asked.

I'm not convinced that "following your dreams" leads to happiness, even if you manage to achieve those dreams. After 9/11, I took a large pay cut and changed career fields to work in my "dream" industry. Ten years ago, I'd have *killed* to be in the position I'm in today, doing the things I do for a living. But now it's just sort of another ho-hum job in a ho-hum industry to me.

One of my early mentors warned me about this when he told me, "Nothing kills your love of a thing faster than doing it for a living." He was right. I mostly like my job and the money's pretty damn good, so I'll stay, but I don't pop out of bed every morning and speed to work at my (former) dream job.

My pipe dream has always been to own my own riding stable/recording studio. Yeah, I want the best of both - being able to have my horses and rockin' out to the best that music has to offer. No gangstas, though. They'd scare the horses!

Its worse than that awh, all the really ood dgs that arent in a war zone or already destroyed out side of the US are under lock and key acedemically speaking. The onl way youd et o site is if you were going to the university that 'owns' that site or has a deal with the university.

Tht or youd hve to have your degree and have some sort of relationship with someone involved in the dig already.

Its ridiculuas how political it all gets.

The problem with American archeology is three fold, corrupt latin american officals and or drug cartels, & you cant ever say anything 'bad' about the US tribes ancestors - its praticlly verboten to mention canablism, never mind the fact that every culture across history revets to it if times get hard enough.

In a few decades hopefully underwater reclimation tech will advance to the point that off shore excivations will be viable

And ofcourse you always have the mormon nusiance when doing american based anthro studies

I had one of my daughter's boyfriends ask me about his educational goals not long ago. He said he loves psychology and wants a psych degree. I told him about an article I read that gave starting salaries for various college degrees. Psych majors come out of college making roughly $23,000 a year. In other words, they're working fast food, retail, or waiting tables. They could have saved the $80k and gone straight to work.

My point is, if you're planning on higher education, make sure there's a good reason for it. Get a skill. There are plenty of them - nursing, accounting, engineering, etc.

If he wants to pursue a career in psych, he better plan on getting a minimum of a masters in counseling. And then he can pursue his passion of listening to other people whine about their problems. Like MikeInRealLife said,

"Nothing kills your love of a thing faster than doing it for a living."

I fall on the side of Get a skill, something you can make a living at, then pursue your passion. Otherwise, somewhere down the line I will be funding something (foodstamps, HUD subsidies) for you or your children, and that's not MY passion.

And maybe as you go along, you can figure out how to work your passion into a living.

My passion would be to move to Italy, grow grapes and olives, and become fluent in their beautiful language. If my passion were less selfish I might actually try to find a way to do it. As it is, maybe I can do it when I retire.

I majored in English in college and don't regret it, despite having just been laid off for the first time. I started on a more skill-oriented path, thinking about how I would support myself, but I hated the classes I was taking and wasn't sure I could finish college studying something I hated so much.

I may or may not continue editing and writing, but I love it now and have loved it for a decade, and I never had a problem supporting myself.

@lujlp- I read something over the weekend (and I don't know if it was on NPR or AP) about how the Mexican cartels are moving into Guatamala- Many of the tour companies are pulling out because it's gotten too dangerous to operate.
Also, thousands of buried pyramids have been discovered around Egypt using satalite technology- but I won't be going there any time soon, either.

Dynasty type pyrmids or their precursors, ziggurats?

Either would be facinating, the Sahara may have swallowed entire civilzations fro all we know.

Be warned: Pursuing your passions will kick your ass in ways you never ever expected (both good and bad). Your drive will be constantly tested and there will be moments where you really really want to give up.

Nobody ever really mentions that part of pursuing your dreams. Most people talk about it like it's all roses. The risks and rewards are much greater than I ever expected.

Wait, I remembered it wrong: it's 1,000 tombs, 3,000 ancient settlements, and 17 pyramids. The article was on Discovery News. It didn't mention the types or ages of the pyramids.

I guess there was a special on BBC yesterday, but I missed it.

I suspect there isn't much worse than being old and telling yourself "I should have."

There was this girl, and I know it would have been a train wreck, but that one might have been worth it. Maybe.

Otherwise, there isn't much I'd do differently.

If You love radio, you should try and get on the Adam carolla podcast. He doesn't subscribe to pc and I think you'd be a great guest. He's also the number one downloaded podcast on the Internet, so you'd get some good exposure.

Just a thought.

ahw, if you're looking for a great story on archaeology as a hobby, read up on Terry Herbert. He spent 18 years poking around England with cheap metal detectors, then one day he discovered the biggest hoard of Anglo-Saxon treasure ever, in a farmer's field:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8272595.stm

Someone with a head for numbers is better off in accounting or finance than in engineering. I have a bachelor of science in mechanical engineering and passed the eight-hour Fundamentals of Engineering exam given by the state of Colorado. After five years in engineering, I gave it up. My experience was that engineering companies were constantly laying off, weren't willing to hire long-term, weren't willing to train, weren't willing to provide career development, and in some cases, weren't willing to provide benefits like health insurance and holiday pay. And for some reason, most coworkers weren't willing to answer questions. During the late 90s, I knew engineers who hadn't found work in a year. I left partly out of boredom, but mostly because I needed a real job.

Several years ago, an acquaintance bragged that her engineer husband made $70,000 a year...and worked 12 hours a day. I went home and figured out that if I worked 12 hours a day at my secretarial job, I'd have been making $70,000 a year, too.

As a young man I was read sci-fi intensively and found an interest in computers from the get go. I lobbied my mother, unsuccessfully, for any computer from the TRS-80 to the Sinclair's. My junior & senior years I took programming classes.

At any and every job since, both military and civilian, if a computer was involved, I took the lead to get the most efficient use out of the systems and applications we were using.

My last employer for 10 years had me in a DBA position they specifically created for me after 5 years. Since they let me go, they have been suffering.

My new job -- they had created a new position -- I'm the first to fill it. I have fulfilled the companies and my manager's hopes for my DBA position. I work on the support desk for a software company. The number of requests that have to go back to the development team has dropped about 90%. These are generally my overflow.

I'm pretty much at the top of my game. I don't necessarily jump out of bed to go to work, but I far from dread it. I could always handle more money -- but who couldn't. I feel I accomplish something everyday in my small world. I have the respect of my co-workers, and can respect them.

I guess I'm the exception to working at your passion be a downer.

My passions are reading whodunnits and shopping. No one wants to pony up cash for that. Although if I had the right background, I'd love to be an editor of whodunnit novels. I'm much better at critiquing and revising than I am at actually writing. (Excellent grades in English/Literature/Technical Writing, but even better grades in Math - B.S. Applied Math degree.)

So I'll make do with my IT career until I save enough to retire. Long hours, but I (mostly) enjoy it. And the money is nothing to sneeze at.

@lujlp - "most hot chicks wont fuck the martail arts master who works as a night janitior and cant buy them dozens of $5 bar drinks"

$5 bar drinks? Where the hell are you drinking? I can't get anything for under $7, and $12 is not unheard of.

Unfortunately I have no idea how Hollywood and agents work but this is his website http://www.adamcarolla.com/ACPBlog/
I think his agent is mike linch (lynch)sp? And he is definitely willing to take on non major celeb guests to promote their books and stuff. But you two bantering back and forth would be priceless. Hes even in LA.

I'm really hoping you can get on somehow. He's my favorite/only Podcast and you're one of my favorite blogs.

I see it as a combo of a few things:
Desire/passion
1.Talent (nope, they don't go hand in hand)
2.Lots of work.
3.People need/want it. (are people willing to pay you to do it.)
4.Luck, connections.

If you have passion and any 3 of the others you will do well.
If only 2, you can struggle by and do ok.
If you have desire and only one, you will struggle and fail. Keep it as a hobbie.
Only desire. Definately keep it as a hobbie.

Some said it earlier and it is exactly correct:

"Nothing kills a hobby faster than doing it as a job."

I really have no idea ... maybe a research scientist or permenant student.

The advice I always give is "What is your backup plan?" This applies to just about every position (perhaps not bum). I have seen people fail to get into a number of positions or had them fail. Friend from high school worked in factory that produced tech stuff which all of sudden shutdown. An electrian who the union wouldn't accept. A friend in college had a band make it big, only to have fame flee.

I think you to consider some of the less obvious. Location, for example. Dating prospects... when I was in college I thought I would have great prospects afterward. I made OK money and had to work crazy hours... no real prospects at all. At 26 or so when my work calmed down, I had gotton a bit more established all the quality women were taken (in that area coupling up young was common).

Sorry, I am rambling.

Kimber I haven bought drinks for a girl since I was in college.

And with drunken sex now legally considered rape, coupled with the fact that I cant drink, I aviod bars when hitting on women.

My price comparison is 10yrs out of date

So is there going to be an Advice Goddess series of podcasts next? I could dig that.

Once upon a time my dream, when I retired from the pay-the-bills job, was to blacksmith full-time. Did it as a hobby for years, loved making things.

Now? All the shock and stress, and I can't do it anymore; the hands won't tolerate it. Which also means I can't play guitar worth a damn anymore.

Please note that you can work toward your dream and be doing well, but that doesn't mean something won't come shooting out of left field and screw it up.

I came across http://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/ recently. Might be worth checking out for some motivation and encouragement about doing something that you really want to do while living your relatively short life instead of doing the whole 9-5 drudgery way of making a living.

I'm currently doing the 7am-11pm drudgery schedule as I pursue a good income without having to report to a boss. But I have to admit that I started out with a lot of passion and was having fun doing it, but somehow I lost site of my sanity a couple of years ago and now I'm missing the passion and fun part.

Personally, I think I let myself go off the rails and let it take over my life. I'm working on ratcheting things back so that I can limit work, and rekindle my creativity and passion and I believe that I will find success doing what I love much more when I do cut back and leave some room in my schedule for relaxation, fun, and dreaming.